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24 February 2007 @ 06:41 pm
QaF Standalone "Penguins in the Closet"  
Okay, this time, I'm not going to forget to post this here so now that all the authors have been revealed over at qaf_challenges, I'm free to post here!

Written for the hurt/comfort challenge over at the above-mentioned community. Despite the title, THIS IS NOT CRACK!!!!!



Title: Penguins in the Closet
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: around 203 and 204
Genre: Angst
Summary: Brian watches over Justin as he sleeps and tries to answer an important question.
Warnings: none
Rating: PG-13


Disclaimers: I don't own Cowlip or the boys. I still think this is what happened though.

Author's note: I would love to thank my wonderful beta, shadownyc






Brian looks at the clock.

4:15 am

It seems lately that he always finds himself waking up at around this time.

He calls it his 'watching-over Justin's-sleep' time.

Not that he'd ever admit it to anybody.

The dreams were getting less violent now however. He would watch Justin and make sure he was fully awake following the bad ones. The ones that had the kid in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. The ones that Brian had to be in control of.

He remembers a conversation he'd had with Mikey a few weeks ago.

"He moves into the loft, you're not around as much anymore. You have to take care of a kid who's now got issues bigger than anything you've ever had to deal with...are you okay with that?" Mikey asked. "Brian, are you?"

Brian never got a chance to answer the question before Mikey was on about something else.

Brian looks over at the sleeping form that starts to stir.

Justin's saying something but it’s pretty incoherent. The kid's always talking in his sleep.

Brian sometimes asks Justin offhandedly what he dreams about (besides the obvious ones that Brian doesn't like to talk about). Justin told him he once dreamed about asking Brian's treadmill why it was Brian didn't eat carbohydrates after seven. The treadmill told him it was because daisies grew on the south side of the hill.

See? Pointless, like most dreams. Although Brian remembers a particular dream he himself had had soon after the whole comic book convention fiasco where Michael wraps that white scarf (the white scarf that he disposed of finally) around Brian and tells him he'll always be young and he'll always be beautiful. As Michael continues to wrap the scarf around Brian, the scarf grows to ten times its size and proceeds to strangle and consume him.

Brian had a pretty good idea what Freud would make of that dream, but he wouldn't admit it.

Thinking about Mikey makes Brian remember the rest of the conversation that day...

"I mean, shit Brian," Mikey continued, "You can't bring people to the loft anytime you want; you left Gus' birthday party early. He's really turning your life upside down...are you okay with that?"

Brian still couldn't bring himself to answer the question.

Justin starts to mumble something. "Penguins...penguins in the closet."

Brian has to wonder again what Freud would do with that one. Brian leans over to whisper in Justin's ear. "You tell those penguins to get out of the closet."

Justin smiles, flips over and goes back to his peaceful slumber.

That was a rather innocuous dream - pointless yet harmless. Brian looks once more at Justin sleeping and decides he'll stay awake just a little bit longer. Just to make sure there are no more of the other dreams - the ones that involve baseball bats and white shirts soaked in crimson.

He looks at the clock.

4:18 am

Are you okay with that?

Brian lights up a cigarette, leans back against the headboard and keeps up his watch. He'll be up like this every night...for as long as it takes.

And yeah, he thinks, he's okay with it.


-Fin-




As usual, feedback is welcome and loved. Most of my QaF f-list are also members of the qaf_challenge community so I don't expect too much feedback, but for those of you who haven't seen this, leave a little shout!
 
 
Current Mood: determineddetermined
 
 
 
Eileen: Brian-This is loveeileen_donovan on February 25th, 2007 04:07 am (UTC)
Justin starts to mumble something. "Penguins...penguins in the closet."

Brian has to wonder again what Freud would do with that one. Brian leans over to whisper in Justin's ear. "You tell those penguins to get out of the closet."


I love it! Exactly how most dreams are and Brian's answer is ... well, it's very Brianesque!

And yeah, he thinks, he's okay with it.

Really lovely! Short, sweet, to the point. Perfect. I love being there for Brian's private moment when there's no one to see him, no one he has to put on a show for. Very nice. A perfect H/C. You did a great job, and there's nothing crack-like about it at all. You have a real heart for this stuff!
Maria: BJ cuddleslave_o_spike on February 25th, 2007 07:53 pm (UTC)
I had to make sure the dreams Justin was having sounded realistic or it would throw off the timbre of the fic. And Brian? Yeah, that's how I see Brian responding.

I love Brian in his private moments, when he thinks no one else is looking (*points to your icon*). It makes him so much more human, ya know?

You have a real heart for this stuff!

Well, this is good to know. I like to know that I can do both.

Thanks for the great fb! It means a lot coming from you!
Thistle: tangled up  -cap from paddies/queer eyethistle90 on February 25th, 2007 05:43 am (UTC)
That was really lovely. Penguins. Hee.
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on February 25th, 2007 07:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Yes, I love penguins. It just fit!
bodleianbodleian on February 25th, 2007 06:16 am (UTC)
I was really starting to think what did penguins in the closet mean - and then I thought that it's not important. What is, is that Brian is willing to watch Justin and protect him. It says so much about their 'relationship'. I really enjoyed this.
Maria: BJ Stayslave_o_spike on February 25th, 2007 07:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you! That's the point - those dreams don't mean shit. But the fact that Brian cares enough to stay up and that he's okay with it, does.

And yeah, they were in a relationship despite what anyone else thinks! :)
critic75critic75 on February 25th, 2007 07:38 am (UTC)
The fact that you write the most amazing crack-fic, turn around once, and write this sweet, loving insight into Brian's love of Justin, makes the word versatile sound too weak to describe it.
Is it all right with you if I worship at your feet? If the answer is no, how about if I just stand in awe, or laud you with copious compliments.
Maria: BJ Stayslave_o_spike on February 25th, 2007 07:59 pm (UTC)
*blushes*

You say the sweetest things JJ! Actually, I have written quite a few of these kinds of fics - I just never post them because they always seem to have something missing. I'm glad I took the chance with this one.

You don't have to worship at my feet - but if you're down there, could you clip my toenails? Rub my feet with lotion? My pedicurist left for Idaho - nobody does a pedicure like her> *looks away wistfully*

Thank you for the wonderful fb and hope your day went fantastic yesterday!
critic75critic75 on February 26th, 2007 12:00 am (UTC)
As you wish, milady.

I mentioned your concerns for the children when I gave my grandson a copy of the chapter you wrote for my birthday, and his answer was that you "Clearly underestimated the dysfunctions of this family."
midnight: brian/justin covering eyesinkingwords on February 25th, 2007 07:41 am (UTC)
Loved that! I hadn't had a chance to read it yet in the other community. :)
Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on February 25th, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you! How's your decision coming re what we discussed?
His Minniemaxmygothangel on February 25th, 2007 08:24 am (UTC)
how lovely!
Brian wouldn't admit many things, but we know them anyway :)
Maria: BJ cuddleslave_o_spike on February 25th, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
Yes, we do know them - so we'll admit them for him! :)

Thanks babe!
Alexander: Jesusbongashmedai on February 25th, 2007 09:58 am (UTC)
Absolutely loved this! :))
Maria: BJ Stayslave_o_spike on February 25th, 2007 08:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you! And look - even Buddy Jesus is giving me the thumbs up!
Ilariayoubetterwiseup on February 25th, 2007 11:19 am (UTC)
Justin starts to mumble something. "Penguins...penguins in the closet."

Brian has to wonder again what Freud would do with that one. Brian leans over to whisper in Justin's ear. "You tell those penguins to get out of the closet."

ç_ç omg, so beautiful.

Thank you
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on February 25th, 2007 08:04 pm (UTC)
Oh look - I made you cry! *sniff sniff* Now I'm going to too!

Thank you - I'm glad you liked!

gerri71gerri71 on February 25th, 2007 12:58 pm (UTC)
Feedback huh!
Oh I'll give you feedback, that was incredible. It was such a small piece but held so much emotion and (shh don't tell Brian), love.
Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on February 25th, 2007 08:05 pm (UTC)
Re: Feedback huh!
Incredible? Okay, cool!

And don't worry, I won't tell Brian. What he doesn't know won't hurt him!

Thank you for the fb!
qafmaniac: The Love orangeqafmaniac on February 25th, 2007 05:23 pm (UTC)
Only a few words but sooooo much emotions.
You`ve taken us inside a very private Brian-moment and I loved it.

Marita
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on February 25th, 2007 08:06 pm (UTC)
That's what I was trying to do. I'm very glad everyone saw it that way!

Thank you bunches.
FanSeefansee on February 26th, 2007 02:32 am (UTC)
Penguins in the Closet
THIS IS NOT CRACK!!!!!

It certainly is not! It's a warm, lovely description of a caring man. Thank you. FanSee
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on February 27th, 2007 05:45 am (UTC)
Re: Penguins in the Closet
And thank you! That's what I had hoped to convey!
(Deleted comment)
Maria: money shotslave_o_spike on March 2nd, 2007 10:25 pm (UTC)
I imagined Brian having a dream like that about Mikey - I just can't seem to stop the Mikey!hate right now because of all the ruckus some Brian/Michael (can you say yech!) shippers are causing.

Thanks!
(Deleted comment)
Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on May 24th, 2007 12:48 am (UTC)
Aw, but we're watching! LOL! And yes, I love Brian early S2. He really was struggling to let Justin know how he felt without letting him know how he felt!

Thank you! I love the fact that I can get many emotions from my readers. :)

Genius, huh? Some would call me mad, but then, those two words go hand in hand. :)
rosy5000: Brian bluerosy5000 on September 14th, 2007 05:30 pm (UTC)
That was very beautiful. :) Michael always seemed to be discouraging Brian from keeping Justin around no matter what was going on. Brian being there and easing Justin through his dreams is very sweet.
Maria: BJ cuddleslave_o_spike on September 16th, 2007 08:34 pm (UTC)
I love early S2 Brian. He was so vulnerable and lost in Justin. *heavy sigh*

It was fun posting this on the challenge site anon; no one knew it was me and were a bit shocked. :)

Thank you!!!