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04 April 2009 @ 12:07 pm
House MD/QaF Cannibal!verse crossover - a few drabbles  
Yep. Here is my QaF Cannibal!verse crossover with House MD.

Because of my short attention span lately, these are a series of drabbles but not really as some are under 100 words and some are over.

And since these involve a doctor who always thinks outside the box, I can make my drabbles however long I want to.


Photobucket


Title: House and Co take a road trip
Pairings: Brian/Justin/Chase; implied House/Wilson/Chase and Chase/Foreman
Rating: R?
Summary: House, Chase, Cameron, Cuddy and Wilson take Foreman's new BMW on a road trip through Pennsylvania and meet up with everyone's favorite cannibal family.

Disclaimer: I own Cowlip and Queer as Folk and the Fox network and House. I am also Napoleon. And Spartacus. I was indeed the third shooter on the grassy knoll.

See? Completely stark raving mad...And you can't sue crazy people...





Here is a pic of the House MD cast, going clockwise starting from the top:

Foreman, Wilson, Cameron, House, Chase and Cuddy.

Photobucket



"Vic," Wilson sighed while putting a well placed hand on the older man's shoulder, "you're dying."

"I know that you idiot!" Vic exclaimed indignantly.

"Sorry," the oncologist murmured, "habit..."


"So here's the deal," Brian started in his bargaining-voice mode, "you let me make the blonde Brit..."

"Australian," Chase glowered.

"You let me make him the meat in a sandwich..."

"I hope you meant that metaphorically, and not literally," Chase mumbled.

"Like I said, before I was so rudely interrupted," Brian snapped with a glare in Chase's direction, "you let me and Justin play with the good doctor, and if the sex is good, we'll let all of you go."

"So, wait," Cuddy interjects incredulously , "all our lives are resting on Chase's sexual prowess?!"

"Actually, we should be okay," Wilson smiled widely while nudging House in the ribs, delighting in the knowledge about their secret threesomes.

"Yeah," House nods assuredly at the same time as Foreman tries to hide his own devilish smirk.

"Hey...wait," House looks accusingly in Foreman's direction while the other gives him the exact same look.

"CHASE!!!!" Foreman and House yell at the same time.



"So let me get this straight. Another one of the conditions of us getting out of here alive is that we don't let your little twinkie know that you guys are cannibals?!" House asked incredulously. "How long has he been living here with you?"

"A few months," Brian shrugged.

"But we figured out what you were in the first five minutes," Cameron exclaimed, a perplexed look on her face.

"Yeah, but you guys have PhDs and...stuff...and well, Justin's goes to art school..."

"'Nuff said," House nodded.


"So explain to me why again I have to wear these hideous things?" Chase asked disgustedly as he looked down at the white denim overalls he had donned.

"Because you were careless with your own clothes," Brian started.

"After you and your little playmate bloody ripped them off me mate!" Chase exclaimed.

"And we can't let you run around the homestead naked so these will have to do."

"But why can't I have a bloody shirt to wear under these things...or underwear," he said more quietly. Chase grumbled as he once again pulled the seat of the offending denim clothing away thereby preventing another wedgie. It was bad enough he was still sore from the fucking he received from Justin.

"Ooh, Crocodile Dungaree!" House smirked. Pulling the bib away from Chase's torso, House looked down. "Hey, you aren't wearing any...Wilson!!! Easy access!!!!"


"So differential diagnosis team," House queried as he started to write on the white kitchen wall in indelible ink while all of his ducklings, Wilson and Cuddy were huddled around, Debbie muttering in the background, "that better be washable."

"Well, I think I can take Brian...and Chase can take on the monkey," Foreman started.

"No, no!" House tsked. "I meant Ted!"

"Oh God. House!! This is no time to try and solve another one of your goddamned puzzles!" Wilson exclaimed.

"The man is clearly delusional!" House continued without missing a beat. "He thinks he sees aliens! Remember that kid...uh, uh...Clarence?"

"Clancy," Cameron corrected.

"You think it's a dead twin somewhere inside him?" Chase asked.

"No, I don't think so..."

"So what, brain tumor?" Wilson suggested.

"Maybe it's..."

"So help me Foreman, if you say Lupus I'll personally make sure they make sausage out of you!" House replied angrily.

"Well we won't know without an MRI," Cuddy sat back.

"Or a brain biopsy," Chase called out.

"Brain biopsy...hmmm," House considered. "Hey! Brandon!" House called.

"Brian," Brian corrected. "What?"

"You have a power drill? We wanna biopsy a piece of Ted's brain. See what's wrong with him," House stated matter-of-factly.

"You want to drill a hole...in Ted's head," Brian repeated.

"Yeah, that's what I just said. There an echo in here?"

Brian considered for a moment. "I'll go get the drill."

"Brian!" Debbie screeched as she slapped Brian upside the head. "You can't let them just go drilling into Ted's head. What kind of damage could that cause?"

"Seriously Deb, do you think anyone would notice?"

Debbie had nothing to say to that and let Brian go get the drill.




And that's that folks.

So I'm hoping this gets my creative juices flowing again. I've just been bogged down with so many different things lately that I haven't been able to concentrate on writing so I needed to give myself a kick start.

Hope you enjoyed even if you're not into the tv show. :)
 
 
Current Mood: naughtynaughty
 
 
 
rosy5000: BJ Showerheadrosy5000 on April 4th, 2009 08:02 pm (UTC)
Hmmm..... Brian/Chase/Justin... oh yeah, I could definitely go for that. ;)

lol Poor Ted. Not even Deb can defend him for long.
Maria: BJ Guh Showerslave_o_spike on April 4th, 2009 08:22 pm (UTC)
I could go for that too and I can picture it in my mind and it's beautiful. :)

I know - Ted can't seem to catch a break!

Thanks!

And *points to my icon* In honor of YOUR icon.
Doriantdorian on April 4th, 2009 10:10 pm (UTC)
thanx for the good laugh !!! House calling Brian "Brandon" was hilarious.This man has no fear at all ? lol Chasse in oberalls is a very nice visual thank you my dear Maria.ah...and welcome back ! Aida
Maria: House BWslave_o_spike on April 5th, 2009 12:46 am (UTC)
Noi. I'm pretty sure House has no fear whatsoever. LOL! And he called him Brandon on top of all that! :)

Chase and overalls...mmmmm...*drools*

I am back but I'm never sure for how long. *sigh*
critic75: SANDWICH  JUSTINcritic75 on April 4th, 2009 10:23 pm (UTC)
Because I'm not too familiar with 'House', the picture helped. Loved Brian's considered answer to a request to drill into Ted's head, with "I'll go get the drill."
Quite a party. With lots of sandwiches.
Maria: House MD - morning after Chaseslave_o_spike on April 5th, 2009 01:28 am (UTC)
JJ!!!! *points to icon* Love!

You haven't watched House? You need to. I know you might not want to get involved in another show but this one is great. Especially since you like my kind of irreverent humor. :P

You know, Brian's just waiting for an excuse to drill into Ted's brain and yeah, what's a party without sandwiches?

Thanks JJ! (I love how I know who my die hard cannibal fans are because they're still willing to read these ficlets even though they involve other characters.)
Coll: crushescolleen2328 on April 5th, 2009 05:31 pm (UTC)
Great kick start!
OMG brill! How did they ever get along without the Housepersons? Hope you're inspired to do more, for I'd love to see House/Chase or House/Wilson arrive by motorcycle. And maybe they could give Ted a personality transplant? Or do kinky experiments with monkey glands?

Hang in there; hope all is well.
Coll: colleen2328 on April 5th, 2009 05:34 pm (UTC)
Re: Great kick start!
And did you see the ep. where Michelle Clunie played House's hallucination? Great one. More food for thought?
Maria: cannibal Mel Aqua Netslave_o_spike on April 7th, 2009 01:03 am (UTC)
Re: Great kick start!
Yes ! did! Hubby was like, 'is that...?' and I was like, 'yeah...she looks really good there.' She seriously looked hot and yeah...LOL! Food for thought. I wonder...
Collcolleen2328 on April 7th, 2009 02:18 am (UTC)
Re: Great kick start!
I prefer Long hair on MC, too, but I think she and Gale both look best with bangs and layered hair. Have you seen the QAF audition tapes on youtube? Her hair's med-long there and curls nicely around her face.

<<<And speaking of Gale: pretty new picture alert! Promo photos from DH ep 521 (to air 5/3).
Maria: Brian and Tedslave_o_spike on April 7th, 2009 01:02 am (UTC)
Re: Great kick start!
Exactly! And they're right next door to each other! LOL!

So you want House to go back there (and if I did it, it would so be House/Chase on House's bike)?!?! I mean they do have PhD's and stuff so you would think they wouldn't go back! LOL! They could always give Ted a brain transplant - one of Wilson's terminal patients.

Oh...oh...yeah!!!

All is well. Thank you! :)
Coll: bargainingcolleen2328 on April 7th, 2009 02:20 am (UTC)
Re: Great kick start!
maybe you'll have to bring in 13 to get them back down on the farm. That would be way OK with me. Ginormous Olivia Wilde fan, ever since The Black Donnelleys.

^^^ More new Gale!
singlewoman: sex faces by url_girlsinglewoman on April 6th, 2009 05:01 pm (UTC)
How I have missed cannibal!verse. And paired with House is great. I can hear House caaling Brian "Brandon" and the "Crocodile Dungaree" cracked me up.

I have started reading a book that makes me think of you. It is "Pride abd Prejudice and Zombies"! Very crack!fic and very funny.
Maria: Brian Predatoryslave_o_spike on April 7th, 2009 12:59 am (UTC)
I love House. I can do so much with him. We're on the same sardonic wavelength. :P

I thought the 'Brandon' thing was apropos. :)

Who wrote that (the book you mentioned)? Is it good? Is it something I would like?

Is it popular cuz then I should seriously write a book. LOL!

Thanks and glad to hear from you!!!!!
kika-k: Brian..Excuse me?kika_k on June 4th, 2009 09:22 am (UTC)
I come here via MW because I find your fics very original, amusing, well written and with a beautiful sense of the humor. Especially this Cannibal crackfic!

ciao
Maria: cannibal Dan and Ronslave_o_spike on June 8th, 2009 12:11 am (UTC)
I wish I could get back onto MW. LOL! Seriously, I lost my information so I would have to contact Elsa but it seems she's having problems with the site too. :(

Original, amusing and well written? THANK YOU for the most wonderful fb!

In case you are wondering, I've updated Justin's Baby with chapter 7a and 7b. You might want to take a look. I also have a thing going where I'm asking for prompts for little ficlets I'll be writing everyday. Go to today's post for details.