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12 June 2006 @ 09:26 pm
QaF Cannibal Crack!Fic Update Chapter 7  
Okay you guys - here's the next update.

I think this one might be the longest one yet. Enjoy!

Title: Ma, Can I keep him?
Chapter: 7/?
Pairing: B/J, implied E/J; also possibly, inter-species pairing (Hey, we're still not sure of Mikey's parentage)
Rating: R
Warnings: None so far. It is afterall a cannibal fic. Nothing squicky, just allusions to things that might make people uncomfortable. The word 'eviscerate' is used quite a bit.

Disclaimers: I don't own Cowlip or the boys. I don't know where Waldo is - nor do I care.

Summary: This is crack!fic. It is a cannibal crack!fic. It is tongue-in-cheek black humor. This is the warning within the summary. Debbie is the Sweeney Todd type living in some backwater town (not too far from Pittsburgh) with her mentally disturbed son, Mikey (yes, I stuck to canon) and adopted son, Brian. Justin and Ethan are passing through.

Previous Chapters in my memories

Chapter 7

Arsenic and Plaid Flannel AKA Tea with the MunchersCollapse )

Go to Chapter 8
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Love Goes On: coolbriancrazy4qaf on June 15th, 2006 03:14 am (UTC)
Oh God. Raw materials??? Um, do I really want to guess? XD *rotflmao* Ah, Brian is such a closet romantic. Nothing says ILY better then dismembering/disembowelling someone and using insides as a necklace. *falls off her chair laughing* You know, I so totally love your level of craziness. *grins*
Maria: Happy Tree Friends ketchup in earsslave_o_spike on June 15th, 2006 04:11 am (UTC)

Raw materials??? Um, do I really want to guess?

You will never guess what I have planned. (I know I'll be going to Hell for this one). I hope to post in the next few days.

Nothing says ILY better then dismembering/disembowelling someone and using insides as a necklace

And he's not even waiting until a bomb goes off.

Thank you for reading and commenting.
Still want him in your pack?: cracks up by paddies_alicesprings on June 16th, 2006 03:16 am (UTC)
Aaaaah, I finally managed to get back here. Read it again. Genius.

From this;

"Yeah, Sunshine. I have to get things straightened out with them or this shit will never stop," Brian said while standing up and pulling Justin up with him. He brushed all the pollen off his overalls. When he did this, Justin started to scrunch his nose and wipe at it furiously. Brian thought he could fuck him all over again in that moment.

Awwwww! To this;

"No! I don't want tea," Justin was getting alittle scared of the woman. "I want a Goddammed Pepsi!"

Brian leaned over and whispered into Justin's ear

"In a can."

Brian leaned over and whispered again.


Bwahahaha!! The whole scene at the munchers was brilliant. The yokes down the toilet, "Police brutality", Lindsay the artist - creepy, and Justin directing Brian to the nearest exit, hahaha!! Plus, "You didn't say you had Dr Pepper," Justin said.

Dead. I laughed so hard. I love this fic. You rock!
Maria: Spike I've always been badslave_o_spike on June 16th, 2006 09:17 pm (UTC)
I just had to throw a tea scene in there after seeing that one scene in S5 with Mel, Lindsay and Justin where Mel got mad and said "We're having tea!"

And I'm in the middle of the next chapter where I know for a fact that I'll go to Hell for this one. It's just so...so...

*no words*
netlagd: 119 B cheering YAY!netlagd on June 19th, 2006 11:05 pm (UTC)
Sorry for the delay in telling you how great you and this story are, but I promised myself I wouldn't read until I had written. Now with a chapter off to the betas, I'm finally getting up to date on reading. Thank you so much for the read - I laughed my ass off. Here are just few of the choice tidbits that did it for me:

First off, I had mistakingly just taken a drink of water when I read:
"Oh God, Brian! It's a...it's a turkey baster!!!! It's an ambush!" Justin shouted. "Run, Brian Run!"

Needless to say, I think that I may have perfected my 'spit-take'.

Brian suddenly remembered why it wasn't such a bad idea to eat people.
Interestingly, I find that many of the things that Brian does that are out of the norm in QAF now seem perfectly acceptable after five seasons. This line was perfect, I can now see why it isn't a bad idea to eat people as well. I know a couple of folks who could benefit - though I'm not sure they'd agree with my pallate.

"You didn't say you had Dr Pepper," Justin said.
Yes, when all hell is breaking loose, it's the right time to complain about the choice of beverages offered.

Then over her Grandmother's corpse, she told me how much she loved me and how we should be together, forever.
Oh, Mel, ever the romantic...

I'm not sure that many folks will get the reference - but god I loved this.

"He had first thought about using a choker made out of garroting wire, twisted in such a way that it was neither too tight nor too loose - so that every time he moved in just the right way, it would cut into him leaving a very pretty trickle of blood. But then he thought better of it..."
And finally, it's so nice of you to share Brian's sensitive side with us. Although, before he dismissed it, it was a really weird and twisted kind of romantic thought.

Off to read Chapter 8 - I love my Crack!

Maria: Randy puffing outslave_o_spike on June 20th, 2006 12:41 am (UTC)
Don't I know about the whole 'If I write, then I can't read and if I read, then I can't write.' I've been writing like a mad woman so I haven't had time to read that much. I want to check out your's and Vamp's Visible and the last few chapters of EJ.

I love the part about the spit-take! Some other readers had the same reaction to other parts of this chapter. It really was a fun chapter to write.

And yeah, I have the same Brian flashback - I look at people when they say or do stupid things and I have to wonder why it's not legal to put people on the menu. (*snerk*)

I was wondering if anyone would comment on the whole grandmother-dead-by-an-anvil and Mel's weird proposal. Thanks for noticing the black humor.

A few people got the Attica thing. I put stuff in there - if they get it, great; if not, oh well - they still think it sounds funny.

Thanks again!
(Deleted comment)
Maria: Happy Tree Friends bird poking eyeslave_o_spike on July 17th, 2006 03:10 pm (UTC)
5:47 am? Ahh! *runs and hides*

I take it you didn't read all the way to chap 10 then?

Yes, even the subject of cannibalism is not sacred with me. Thannks for the fb!
Alexander: coffeeashmedai on December 7th, 2006 05:06 pm (UTC)
OMFG ROFLMAO!! It's priceless - genius, I knew it! I got this far today, can't wait to read the rest - it rocks! :D
Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on December 9th, 2006 05:04 am (UTC)
I can't wait till you read the rest so I know what you think.

Glad that you find it entertaining.
(Deleted comment)
Maria: angst BJ Stormfrontslave_o_spike on May 25th, 2007 08:09 pm (UTC)
Chilling and downright scary I would say. LOL!

And I hope you caught chap 6 - the one where Justin went to breakfast and met Deb and Mikey and Ted and Vic (and Emmett!).
adelais_liliadelais_lili on August 31st, 2007 08:09 am (UTC)
"Who the fuck are you? Al-fucking-Gore?! Fuck. You!!" :)))

Brian was trying to but found the words physically impossible to come out. "What did Mel do...for you...to...um...show you how she care...for you? What specific thing do you...remember....gesture, something she said, something she did....whatever." Brian scratched the back of his head as he always did when he had to say something that he found hard to express. Uncertain!Brian is LOVE.

This was adorable in a sick and kinky kind of way. I wonder what is it that Brian is planning to give Justin.

I love Mel. She is the only one that treats Brian with his own medicine.
Maria: cannibal fic masturbating signslave_o_spike on August 31st, 2007 07:05 pm (UTC)
Mel was definitely always that, I thought. But here, well, she's a bit insane. LOL!

And I know you now know what Brian was planning on giving Justin. Raw materials indeed!

Thank you again! I love fb at each chapter. Let's me know your favorite parts and what people are thinking while they read. :)
rosy5000: Brian Smilerosy5000 on September 15th, 2007 06:00 am (UTC)
OMG>... No words.... *giggles*

The image of Mel running after Brian with a turkey baster then taunting Ben about the envirionment... *falls of chair laughing*
Maria: Frodo doesn't live here anymoreslave_o_spike on September 16th, 2007 10:07 pm (UTC)
I know. When I had been typing this, when I came to Mel and the hair spray can, I think I just about lost it. LMAO!!!!

I love crossing lines others won't. Tis fun.

Thank you! (And I see no more comments from you - did I gross you out in the next chappie?)
(no subject) - rosy5000 on September 17th, 2007 12:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
Collcolleen2328 on September 4th, 2008 10:21 pm (UTC)
Care is a 4-letter word. As is Acme.
Snerk. Guffaw. Did you ever find the photo of Gale in overalls?
Maria: The Sad Life of a Dickslave_o_spike on September 13th, 2008 06:49 pm (UTC)
Re: Care is a 4-letter word. As is Acme.
No! I never did! Well, actually, I did. But it wasn't him in overalls. He was wearing an apron of some sort and the picture wouldn't have worked sadly.

ACME is a 4 letter word - where the coyote is concerned. LOL! Thanks!