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11 July 2006 @ 11:00 pm
QaF Cannibal Crack!Fic Update Chapter 10  
I was going to incorporate this bit into the next chapter but it was all so big that I decided to make this its own chapter so I give you Chapter 10:

Title: Ma, Can I keep him?
Chapter: 10/?
Pairing: B/J, implied E/J; also possibly, inter-species pairing (Hey, we're still not sure of Mikey's parentage)
Rating: R
Warnings: It is afterall a cannibal fic. Nothing squicky, just allusions to things that might make people uncomfortable. The word 'eviscerate' is used quite a bit.

Disclaimers: I don't own Cowlip, the boys, a scary bone in my body...

Summary: This is crack!fic. It is a cannibal crack!fic. It is tongue-in-cheek black humor. This is the warning within the summary. Debbie is the Sweeney Todd type living in some backwater town (not too far from Pittsburgh) with her mentally disturbed son, Mikey (yes, I stuck to canon) and adopted son, Brian. Justin and Ethan are passing through.

Previous Chapters in my memories

Chapter 10

Justin had been the first to get up this morning. He had decided to wander around the house and the homestead and do a little exploring on his own since he never could because Brian always seemed to be with him.

It was rather strange, but no matter what time of the day, and no matter what was going on, Brian was there. They did the chores together, they bathed together (which Justin enjoyed immensely), they ate together and they slept together. Justin was pretty sure at this point in time that the only purpose Brian's mattress held was for the two of them to sleep on and for Justin to be fucked through.

The house was very quiet at this time of the morning. Justin looked out one of the windows and noticed Ted outside counting the nails in each board of the picket fence. No doubt he would have a full report for Brian at breakfast.

Which was another point of contention for Justin. Sausage was served at every breakfast he had shared with the family. At this point, he would love it if he could just have a bowl of Cheerios.

There was a door at the end of the hallway and he wondered where that led to. He was quite sure that he had been in or shown the room connected to every door on this particular floor.

Justin walked up to the door. As he turned the knob and opened the door ever so gently, he caught a glimpse of what was inside.

Justin then began to scream.

Brian was having one of the most pleasant dreams. He was at a club and there was loud music, wall-to-wall dancing male bodies, and glitter falling down from the ceiling. Brian was dressed in a pair of black, tight fitting pants and a sleeveless shirt in the same color. He was dancing with Justin - Justin's hands and lips all over him. There was a wide clearing around them as they practically owned the dance floor.

Just then Justin stopped and looked up at him and started screaming, piercing the music in the dream. Brian jolted awake to find the screaming still going on - Justin's screaming.

Brian was not the kind of man who would usually run after anything or anybody (unless of course they were trying to escape) but at this moment, he ran as if his life depended on it. Hearing Justin's screams though meant it wasn't his life he was so worried about right now.

He followed the screams until he saw Justin in the hallway. Justin turned around - he had a horrified expression on his face. Justin ran up to Brian and hugged him tightly.

Debbie and Vic came rushing out of their rooms to join the disturbance.

"What the fuck? Sunshine? You okay?" Debbie asked while looking in the door.

"Fuck! Can't a guy jack off in peace without everyone coming in to look!"

Brian, Debbie, Vic and Justin looked in the room at the door Justin had been standing in front of. There sat Mikey with a comic book in one hand and his dick in the other.

"Oh God Brian. I'm so sorry about waking up the house," Justin continued in a rushed, trembling voice, "I just wanted to see what was behind the door. I opened it and I saw...I saw...oh God. It's so small! I know his DNA is questionable, but it's so small..."

"Listen you...," Mikey started to advance on Justin while still holding his dick in one hand. Justin stepped back and clutched onto Brian, burying his face into his chest.

"Make him put it away Brian. Make him put it away."

"Mikey, for God's sake, put that thing away. You're traumatizing Sunshine," Debbie said while patting Justin on the back. "It's okay baby."

"Fuck Mikey. What have we told you about locking the door? Shit," Brian continued to scold Mikey while hugging Justin to him tightly. Not only was Justin's heart rate starting to slow down, but so was Brian's.

For possibly the first time in Brian's life, he had been truly scared - if truth be told, terrified.

"God Brian. So small," Justin said while pinching his forefinger and thumb together. "No wonder Ben and Mikey have to go fishing, that's the only way Ben could ever find it."

Brian kept patting Justin's back while kissing his forehead.

"Well, now that we're all up, I'm going to go start breakfast. I'll cook you up some sausage Sunshine. You'll forget all about this nasty little episode," Debbie said while pinching Justin's chin.

Justin groaned. He wasn't sure if it was because of the word 'sausage' or the word 'little.'

Just then, Ted reappeared.

"I just counted all the nails in the fence boards. I circled in red everywhere there's a nail missing."

Brian sighed and gave Ted his long-suffering look.

Ted looked around. "What'd I miss?"

"Nothing. It was minuscule."

Ted looked at Justin and then at Mikey.

"You saw his dick, didn't you?"

Justin nodded.

Ted walked into the kitchen. Brian held onto Justin while leading him into the kitchen.

Brian learned one thing from this episode. He needed to up Justin's dosage. He couldn't have him doing anymore 'exploring' around the homestead.

The next time, Justin might find something that was truly more terrifying than Mikey's cock, which really was a rather small matter.


Go to Chapter 11

Feedback is welcome, as usual.

Actually if you are reading it, just give me a little shout-out, so I know who and how many are reading, even if it's, "I don't know - the jury's still out on this one."

And I apologize to anyone who I might have scared unnecessarily.
Current Mood: dorkydorky
starspiderstarspider on July 12th, 2006 06:34 am (UTC)
Well, I'm definitely still reading and still finding this hilarious.
Love it!
Maria: Justin condomslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 06:54 am (UTC)
I needed something light for tonight so I thought I'd insert this!

I hope no one gets mad at me for not putting the first part under a cut.

Nola: Grrr Vanished by url_girlnola_nola on July 12th, 2006 07:03 am (UTC)
I'm reading. I still can't quite believe it, but I'm reading every chapter.

Thanks for writing....I think.
Maria: BJ Guh Showerslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 07:25 am (UTC)
Why thank you...I think.

And hey! You're reading! :):):)
Still want him in your pack?: sad justin hug by paddies_alicesprings on July 12th, 2006 07:19 am (UTC)
OMFG! I nearly wet my pants.

And you are a dirty, dirty tease for giving us such a tiny short chapter.
Maria: Justin gets caughtslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 07:28 am (UTC)
You're going to have to get Depends woman if this keeps up! LOL!

A tease? I was so tempted to leave it at right where it was before the cut and then pretend that I couldn't find the rest! *snicker*

Then it would have been too tiny...I mean minuscule...uh, small...short!
(no subject) - _alicesprings on July 12th, 2006 07:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - slave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 07:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _alicesprings on July 12th, 2006 08:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
Gio: B - crazypaddies on July 12th, 2006 08:33 am (UTC)
Still enjoying the madness. :D:D:D
Maria: bunny yayslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 09:44 pm (UTC)
Yay! :D
A fanjustinlovesart on July 12th, 2006 09:43 am (UTC)
Still reading and loving it :)
Maria: Chicken Little dancingslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 09:45 pm (UTC)
Woo Hoo!
shadownyc: paddies  - S5 crack-upshadownyc on July 12th, 2006 10:55 am (UTC)
LMAO! You have a wicked sense of humor.
BTW--Guess what...SURPRISE, I'm still reading. *winks*
Maria: Buffy Angel was this big...slave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 09:46 pm (UTC)
Hee - yes, I am a wee bit wicked. (Did I just say 'wee bit?')

And yes, it is a surprise that people have stuck with this. :P Thanks
jane2005: Janejane2005 on July 12th, 2006 11:01 am (UTC)

Well, it's weird, and I know everyone loves this, and I truly think the humor is awesome. But, I mean, CANNIBALISM. So, I'm gonna wait to see how it ends before I decide what to think finally. I am enjoying the ride, tho! and I love the characterization. Twink!Justin is too cute.
Maria: Listening to Satanic musicslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 09:48 pm (UTC)
Don't you mean Twinkie!Justin? LOL!

And yeah, cannibalism - God, I almost didn't do this but I thought, why not?!

I actually have the ending already written so I don't stray too far from my main objective - this needs to be kept at a specific humorous balance or it'll just come out wrong.

Thanks for the shout!
xnickstax on July 12th, 2006 11:22 am (UTC)
where do you get this stuff? hehe crazy but im still hooked on reading
Maria: Shaun That's it I'd like to be shotslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 09:50 pm (UTC)
where do you get this stuff?

My brain is a very scary place.

Hooked on reading? That's crack for ya! Thanks!
(Deleted comment)
Maria: Shaun You alright Helloslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 09:51 pm (UTC)
*resuscitates you*

Larissa: gale_randy_laugh_txtlarissa_j on July 12th, 2006 12:38 pm (UTC)
I'm reading a little bit here and there :)
Maria: My Fandom has chainsawsslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 09:53 pm (UTC)
Did you say 'little bit?' *snerk*

Thank you and I'm glad you're enjoying the fun parts. :):)
charlie_jae on July 12th, 2006 01:21 pm (UTC)

That's just sick, LMAO... poor Justin maybe Brian should give him some of the real thing, that way he can erase the image of Mikey... ewwww... Yuck... Can't say it! lol
Maria: Buffy Angel was this big...slave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 09:56 pm (UTC)
I'm seriously trying to burn the image out of my head - that's why I wrote it - sort of like an excorsism.

Brian will no doubt give it to Justin (I think at this point in time, he gives it to him like once every hour). You know, do a chore, fuck Justin, bale the hay, fuck Justin, visit crazy townpeople, fuck Justin...

Just saying...
sebastian: Babylon laughing - paddiesviola69 on July 12th, 2006 03:17 pm (UTC)
still reading & loving this...
Maria: bunny yayslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 09:57 pm (UTC)
Yay! :D:D
ef26: ef26(3)ef26 on July 12th, 2006 03:42 pm (UTC)
still reading and enjoying it :)
Maria: Happy Tree Friends bird poking eyeslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 09:58 pm (UTC)
Cool! :D:D
sonofabiscuit77sonofabiscuit77 on July 12th, 2006 03:46 pm (UTC)
Just discovered this via your mention in the Daily QAF Newsletter and I thought I'd just drop you a note to say that yes, I'm definitely reading. I just love this type of black humour and as sick horror movies are my personal crack this really couldn't be any further up my alley!

However I'm not sure I can forgive the visual your last chapter managed to produce in my poor traumatised brain..... But definitely looking forward to the next installment. So far my favourite character (other than B/J natch) has to be a close toss up between Environmentally Conscious and Really Quite Creepy Ranger Ben and of course Crazy!Ted.
Maria: Shaun It's on Fandomslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 10:01 pm (UTC)
Re: Reading.....
*pets brain*

I think I've traumatized my poor brain enough too.

Ben and Ted are just too much fun. I agree.

PS. Have you seen 2001 Maniacs yet? God that's funny, as sick, black humor goes. It's a remake of Herschell Gordon-Lewis' 2000 Maniacs. It came out on DVD in April.
Re: Reading..... - sonofabiscuit77 on July 14th, 2006 04:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Maria: Hudson Game Over Manslave_o_spike on July 12th, 2006 10:02 pm (UTC)
Mikey's cock is a scary thing, alright. I had to put the warning in.