February 14th, 2010

The Sad Life of a Dick

Valentine's Day, chainsaw carved dicks and Death Race

Firstly, I would like to start off by saying Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

I don't have one of those cute graphics thingies, however I did include a picture of my favorite couple of all time.

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Next, in answer to the speculation raised by this article that also showed up in netlagd's journal, I was in no way involved with the chainsaw carving of the large male phallus (yes, netlagd, I don't know of any female phallus either. If there was, I would want one).

Here's a picture of the thing:

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Here's how you'll know it wasn't me and that I wasn't involved in any way, shape, or form:

1. There are only a few states in the union in which I am allowed to visit. Florida is not one of them.

2. My family would also have to be drunk to allow me anywhere near a chainsaw. That was why I wasn't allowed the lessons.

*snickers* It has some strange thing to do with wanting to keep my limbs right where they are. *shrugs*

3. If I had made the thing, I woud have based it on a (oops! sorry. That was supposed to be would - Freudian slip I guess) real penis. Ergo:

a. it would be much shorter.
b. it would be at half mast
c. and being that I am female and lean towards emasculating tendencies, I would have immediately chopped the thing down while yelling 'timber!'

So there you go!

Lastly, hubby bought the Death Race blue ray because he heard it was pretty cool.

I was a bit skeptical but I decided to watch it with Griffon and Donovan (who thought it was 'awesome!').

I gotta say, it was pretty awesome. I mean, what's not to like. You have:

1. Joan Allen as the prison warden who has a stick up her ass that's bigger than the penis tree (see picture above).

2. Ian McShane. Need I say more?

3. Cars that don't necessarily go fast but go boom an awful lot and it is fun to watch.

4. And of course, Jason Statham, who is pretty nice on the eyes.

It really isn't that bad and you know, I will always have a soft spot for the original Roger Corman 1975 movie, Death Race 2000 which starred David Carradine and a young Sylvester Stallone.

Here's the trailer for the new movie: