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23 January 2007 @ 06:02 pm
QaF Cannibal Ficlet "In Ted's Room"  
This is just for fun and is a ficlet in my QaF Cannibal universe. It takes place sometime around chapters 13 - 15.

Also, smittenkitten27 and jillapet have made me some icons for this story and I will post them as soon as I figure out how to do it correctly.

But for now, a little something....

Title: In Ted's Room
Characters: Justin
Summary: What is it Justin finds in Ted's room? This is from Justin's POV. This is from my cannibal universe and the timeline could be anywhere from chapter 13 to 14.
Genre: Crack!fic of course!!!
Rating: PG13?
Disclaimers: I don't own Cowlip, the boys and I don't have Harrison Ford's personal address.

- This isn't going to have a happy ending. - Detective William Somerset (Morgan Freeman) from Se7en

I shouldn't be wandering around up here. Especially not after what happened the last time. But Debbie told me to come upstairs and see if Ted was in his room.

His door is slightly ajar and I knock timidly.

You never know what he might be doing in there.

My imagination has come up with a few possibilities and none of them are pretty.

I don't hear Ted answer so I step in cautiously. I'd hate to have caught him in the middle of dressing or something.

As I walk in, I notice how dark it is in here, and that's with the lights on. All the bulbs are dim and I have to ask myself when it was the last time that Ted had changed the bulbs.

On my right is his stereo system. It's really quite a set up and I wonder how Ted, being the kind of man he is, had afforded something so nice and technologically advanced. A few CD's are scattered across the shelf above the stereo. One of them is a CD of Bizet's opera Carmen. All of the CDs have an operatic theme.

Who would have figured Ted for an opera enthusiast?

I come to a desk on which top he has numerous books for record keeping. Another shelf hosts a long line of empty jars, all labeled with a day of the month, all lidded of course. This just has to be Ted's daily air collection. As I glance up, I see a long string of sausage hanging against the wall. It has long since dried out and a tag adorns the bottom link with one word, TAD.

See? That is so Ted. Only he would keep one of Debbie's sausage and then name it.

I turn away from Ted's desk and his pet sausage and I rub my eyes because I'm surely not seeing things right.

Along the back wall of Ted's bedroom are books. Rows and rows of books.

Composition books to be exact. The black and white kind. The kind I used to use at St James Academy for taking notes when I was a student there.

I know it's not my place to go through anybody's personal business, but I can't help being drawn to the stacks.

Stacks of books on no doubt Ted's personal musings for I'm pretty sure they're not old college notebooks.

It almost reminds me of a creepy movie I once saw where the two detectives find the serial murderer's apartment and his stack of composition books, the very same books I happen to be staring at at the moment.

As the detectives had read some of the personal diaries of the madman, they had been able to get a glimpse into the psycho's mind and it wasn't a very pretty sight.

Is this what these were? A door into Ted's mind? What would I learn if I opened one of the books and read one of it's many passages? Would they be the delusional and mad ramblings of a demented mind?

I have to wonder at what horrors could be encased in the tomes in front of me. I wonder if they contain passages about man's inhumanity towards man, in only the way a man of Ted's persuasion could tell it.

I pick up one of the books and swallow, looking around me once more, to make sure no one is there. I open the notebook to a random page and read what is therein.

Monday, April 5, 1999

7:00 AM Masturbated to internet pron

8:00 AM Collected air in a jar

9:00 AM Masturbated to internet porn

10:00 AM Masturbated to magazine porn

11:00 AM Found rock - picked it up - put it back

12:00 AM Masturbated to internet porn

I close the book and place it on top of the stack. I flip through some more pages and find them all to be the same.

These were not the books of a madman, only a man slowly marking time, which in itself, I have to admit, is rather horrific on its own.

I walk out of Ted's room, secure in the knowledge that I shouldn't jump to conclusions from now on and that life in the movies is a different matter entirely and that this is real life and has nothing whatsoever to do with the movies.


Feedback is loved as always.

Should I post this to bjfic.net? Is that allowed? The pairing on this particular ficlet is Justin only and I'm not sure if I would be breaking rules.
Current Mood: geekygeeky
Black Dragon Fighting Society: Teh Kisslovinspike247 on January 24th, 2007 02:43 am (UTC)
Hahaha! Ted's days sure are...productive. :D
Maria: cannibal fic copulating #2slave_o_spike on January 24th, 2007 03:10 am (UTC)
Yes, Ted usually has very busy days - repetitive busy days - but busy none-the-less.

Chaos..panic..disorder...my work here is done.: Cannibal iconjillapet on January 24th, 2007 02:45 am (UTC)
Hee....I loved his pet sausage! And his air collection. Jeez, i'm almost as pathetic as Ted...

BTW-Carmen was written by Bizet-not performed by him. And why yes, I am a big ol' music geek!

As for posting, I would-the story is still B/J. You might label it as an "outtake" or something...
Maria: cannibal fic I love my spleenless gay soslave_o_spike on January 24th, 2007 03:09 am (UTC)
See, I know nothing about opera! I edited it - thank you very much for that. Boy! That could have been embarrassing!

And none of us are as pathetic as Ted (and alas poor Tad - we knew him well - as Ted's ex-psycho boyfriend now turned jerky!)

Thanks for reading!
trishwishtrishwish on January 24th, 2007 03:43 am (UTC)
LOL! So close, and yet so far!

Monday, April 5, 1999

7:00 AM Masturbated to internet pron

8:00 AM Collected air in a jar

9:00 AM Masturbated to internet porn

10:00 AM Masturbated to magazine porn

11:00 AM Found rock - picked it up - put it back

12:00 AM Masturbated to internet porn

ROTFMAO!!!! Gotta love it.
Maria: cannibal fic I love my spleenless gay soslave_o_spike on January 24th, 2007 03:44 pm (UTC)
Aw, come on, what could Ted possibly put in his journals that would be so horrifying...except his daily routine.


Thanks for stopping by!
(Deleted comment)
Maria: cannibal fic I8 my husbandslave_o_spike on January 24th, 2007 03:43 pm (UTC)
I wrote this in 5 minutes when I came up with the idea - I needed something fun and quick.

And yeah, Angel is soooo geeky here.

critic75: hatcritic75 on January 24th, 2007 07:20 am (UTC)
First and foremost, I love,love,love the Cannibal Series, and the vision of Ted with his hospital hat will forever stay with me.
Lastly, I remember exactly when I realized that real life is not like the movies. It was my first real kiss from a boy. I truly expected the orchestra to play a concerto in the background, what I got was the very unlovely spronging,grating sound of the broken spring in the couch, and to this day that comprises the entire memory of a first kiss. Can't remember the boy at all, or the kiss, just the sound of A complaining broken spring.
Maria: cannibal fic I love my challenged gay soslave_o_spike on January 24th, 2007 03:42 pm (UTC)
HospitalHat!Ted = love.

LOL on the first kiss! I remember mine - in that moment, I thought it was the most romantic thing in the world.

And then he put his tongue in my mouth and then that image crashed.

When romantic and fluffy turned to lust and desperate.

Ah, good times, good times...
Gio: J - 311 smirk-smilepaddies on January 24th, 2007 11:18 am (UTC)
Oh, Justin... *pets*

Poor Ted should get a life, he definitely deserves one... *loves Ted*
Maria: cannibal fic masturbating signslave_o_spike on January 24th, 2007 03:40 pm (UTC)
I came up with this idea quickly and wrote it in about 5 minutes. I just wantged to post something to relieve some of the tension in the fandom currently.

Thanks (and yes, give lots of love to Ted).
(Deleted comment)
Maria: cannibal fic I8 my husbandslave_o_spike on January 24th, 2007 03:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks, the icon table will help!

And yeah, Ted's daily diary? So Ted...

sonofabiscuit77: BJ S1sonofabiscuit77 on January 24th, 2007 07:21 pm (UTC)
Yay, more Ted fic! Well, Ted-ish fic, even though he's not in it. This was great, again. Loved the sausage called Tad - please tell me that's the same Tad from 513, because that would just be perfect.
Maria: cannibal fic I love my spleenless gay soslave_o_spike on January 29th, 2007 03:29 am (UTC)
Yes! That is the Tad from 513!

Thanks for the fb and sorry it took so long for me to respond - I've been mucho busy!
My Flame Burns Bright: Emoticon - Smirksuch_a_steph on February 16th, 2007 05:09 pm (UTC)
And another one bites the dust! I shall not mourn the loss of Tad though ;)
Maria: cannibal fic copulating #2slave_o_spike on February 21st, 2007 01:24 am (UTC)
No! Don't cry for Tad! Hell - he's probably just as psycho as the rest of them! (Just not as exciting or fun).

rosy5000: Brian Smilerosy5000 on September 17th, 2007 05:37 pm (UTC)
Justin certainly is brave... wondering around Ted's room. lol Especially with his pet sausage there. hehehe

Such an exciting life Ted leads. :P

Sure you don't have Harrison Ford's address? He's my future husband... he just don't know it yet. ;)
Maria: Frodo doesn't live here anymoreslave_o_spike on September 21st, 2007 05:05 am (UTC)
Nope, don't have Harrison's wherabouts.

Let's just hope it's not sausage on a hook in Ted's room. :)
Coll: whatevercolleen2328 on September 5th, 2008 12:53 am (UTC)
There's nowt so queer as Ted.
Nice twist! You are the Empress of Cracksylvania.
Maria: BJ slave_o_spike on September 13th, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
Re: There's nowt so queer as Ted.
Cracksylvania. *snerk*

Do you think Tim Curry could dance to a rendition of this song in overalls and make up?

LOL! What an image!

Thanks again Colleen for all your wonderful fb. I do get back to my fb eventually as you can see and I enjoyed your comments. Thanks again!

*hugs you*