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09 February 2007 @ 03:42 pm
QaF Ficlet "The Toy"  
Okay, remember this picture here, that I posted yesterday, the McDonalds happy meal toy?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

So I was going to write a drabble for the Sex Toy challenge at qaf_drabbles, but I went over 100 words (not by too much though), plus there's no Justin in this one so I'm just posting this here.

This is just for fun.

Title: The Toy
Characters: Brian, Mel, JR
Rating: G

Mel looked at the offensive toy in her hand that she had picked up off the coffee table. She then stormed over to Brian's desk area and slammed the toy on the desk.

"Can you please," Mel said while gritting her teeth, "refrain from keeping your disgusting, male-influenced and childish paraphernalia, like this thing around your loft so that my young daughter will not see it!" She then held up the offensive toy.

Brian looked at it and then bit his lip to keep from laughing. "Um, Mel," he said while clearing his throat, "what exactly do you think it is?"

"One of those stupid wind up dicks, the kind you get from one of those ridiculous sex shops you frequent. It's not bad enough the thing is smiling, but it has to be dressed as Carmen Miranda with it's own set of maracas none-the-less!"

"Actually, it dances too," Brian said, his voice breaking slightly. Brian wound it up and the thing started swishing its hips back and forth.

Mel winced. JR then walked up to her mom, took the toy from the desk and said, "thanks mom. I was wondering where Waffle went to." JR then walked away.

Mel looked back and forth. Brian leaned over, smirked and whispered into Mel's ear. "It's a McDonald happy meal toy. It's not a dick, it's a cat."

Mel turned a few shades of red.

"So," Brian continued with his arms folded across his chest, "would you like your crow deep-fried or oven-roasted."


I so need a Waffle icon!
Current Mood: nerdynerdy
His Minniemaxmygothangel on February 9th, 2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
ROFL!! great ficlet! (typical Brian)
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on February 9th, 2007 11:54 pm (UTC)
I think this was my best Brian voice yet! :)
Chaos..panic..disorder...my work here is done.: i hate everything kittyjillapet on February 10th, 2007 12:21 am (UTC)
Maria: Evolution Craven Oh Crapslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 12:57 am (UTC)
You laugh now, but I was thinking about that idea you came up with - the life preserver for condoms and Brian the Ad Exec having to market it...

singlewoman: snickersinglewoman on February 10th, 2007 12:28 am (UTC)
So funny, and so Brian.
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 01:00 am (UTC)
I thought it was very Brian-like also. :)
Eileen: Brian-S4eileen_donovan on February 10th, 2007 12:33 am (UTC)
This was hilarious! Trust you to come up with something like this. :) And I adore any fic that shows Brian taking down Mel!

I love your Brian voice.

And thank you for keeping me updated about these, uh, "toys." Otherwise, I'd be so ignorant of what's going on out there in MacDonald-land! :)
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 01:02 am (UTC)
I love Brian - you can be as snarky as you want with him!

And you gotta have Brian taking Mel down a peg or two - she just screams for it. (And scream she does - often).

Thanks for the complimentary fb and I'll try to keep everyone apprised of the McDonald toy situation - they also scream for attention!
critic75: wafflecritic75 on February 10th, 2007 12:40 am (UTC)
I can e-mail pictures and can make my own userpics, but can't put things under a cut. It makes my brain hurt when I learn something new, but if you can access this from my user pics, it is yours until something better comes along.
I enjoy everything you write, and it certainly includes The Toy. Loved it.
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 01:04 am (UTC)
Thank you! Thank you for the fb and for the icon!

I was able to pull it and I credited you in MY ICONS. That was so sweet.

Don't worry - I'll be posting quite a bit now - I'm hoping to have the next chap of my cannibal fic up by Sunday night!
trishwishtrishwish on February 10th, 2007 01:06 am (UTC)
LMAO!!!!!! I love it. ;)
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 01:19 am (UTC)
Hee! Thank you! :D
shadownyc: paddies  - S5 crack-upshadownyc on February 10th, 2007 02:01 am (UTC)

Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 03:15 am (UTC)
Cost of happy meal with toy: $3.50

Cost of fun lj girls are having with said toy: priceless

For everyone else, there's...well...there's nothing really going on.


PS I got your email - thanks - that means a lot!
Create Your Reality: perv yay!court1429 on February 10th, 2007 03:17 am (UTC)
OMG. Fabulous fic! Completely IC voices for both Mel & Brian; just perfect.

But I gotta say that plastic dick looks as much like a cat as my dog does! Some folks in the Waffle show & Happy Meal R&D depts. are having a huge laugh at their ability to put one over on the general public. Wonder how the religious right has missed this? I mean, if they can detect that SpongeBob is queer, can't the tell Waffle's a cock? Better they shoulda made him a rooster... :DDD
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 04:27 am (UTC)
I've been rewatching the show so I'm able to get back into their voices! :)

I think the religious right is out buying these toys and watching the damn tv show. I wonder when they'll figure out that the thing is a cock. You're right though - if you add a butt full of feathers and a little glove like thing on top, you'd have a rooster.

Maybe they'd get it then! *snicker*
My Flame Burns Bright: Emoticon - Cracks Upsuch_a_steph on February 10th, 2007 03:30 am (UTC)
Perfect! Mel was just the person to carry off this story :)
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 04:22 am (UTC)
Can you just see her holding the toy up?

Hee hee. :)
Hating you makes me all warm inside.: gummi sexhappier_bunny on February 10th, 2007 04:47 am (UTC)

you crack me up adn i love how your mind works!

not all drabbles ahve to be b/j btw. ;)
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 05:07 pm (UTC)
My mind works in mysterious ways....you'll never know what she'll do next. :)

And that's good to know about the drabbles - I'm not sure if I could have pared this down to 100 words though - I tend to be so verbose.
flamencanyc: Cracks up! - Galeflamencanyc on February 10th, 2007 07:02 am (UTC)
The icon says it all.
Thanks for this!
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 05:05 pm (UTC)
And it does it so well...

Well your welcome! :D
midnight: hearts on flowers loveinkingwords on February 10th, 2007 07:35 am (UTC)
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 05:05 pm (UTC)
*laughs with you* :D
Alexander: cowboyashmedai on February 10th, 2007 09:08 am (UTC)
LMAO - I love it! :D
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 05:04 pm (UTC)
Thanks - it had to be done! :)
firehead30: naa naa boo boofirehead30 on February 10th, 2007 04:24 pm (UTC)
waffles for breakfast, waffles for lunch, waffles......
Waffles will never be prepared or consumed again in my house until I can get that stupid phallic cat thingy out of my head....and it dances too...OMG

You are cracked and brilliant. This one darlin....I could so see happening. Truth in nine paragraphs. Brian leaning over to whisper in Mel's ear....I was giggling so hard I almost spewed my coffee. I wonder how Mel does like her crow *pets poor Mel*

Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 10th, 2007 05:03 pm (UTC)
Re: waffles for breakfast, waffles for lunch, waffles......
I wonder how Mel does like her crow

I was originally going to have Brian ask if she wanted original recipe or extra crispy but wasn't sure if everyone would get the KFC reference. :P

Well, at least I'm cracked...

And I just let the scene play out in my head and this was what I came up with - I could not see anything but Brian taking advantage of the sit!

Sorry about the waffles - I love waffles!
Wicked Bitch Of The Westvlredreign on February 14th, 2007 04:38 am (UTC)

This was priceless!!! And that damn toy is scary looking!!
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on February 14th, 2007 06:30 am (UTC)
It is, isn't it?

It's so wrong!