Also, Phil looks like a younger version of Joss Whedon, and Phil is well, a little slow on the uptake...
This is not a chapter story - each installment can stand on its own. I write these as they call to me.
My Life as a Gofer, Take Two
Summary: Phil laments about his new job and stuff
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys - either Cowlips's boys or Joss Whedon's but Phil and momma are all mine. This is RPS. It is only fiction. It is NOT REAL. I am not insinuating anything about Jimmy, Mister Boreanaz, Gale or Randy. I am insinuating things about Simon, but well, those were obvious.
Authors Note: Read the above intro paragraph to get the history on Phil.
My name is Phil.
Momma always says when one door closes somewhere, another one always opens up.
Momma's smart in that way. And she's right too.
I used to work as a gofer on the set of Angel with my Uncle Joss. Then it got cancelled in its fifth season. I was kinda upset cause I didn't know what I would do after that.
Uncle Joss knew what to do though. He always knows what to do. He said he pulled some strings and got me this job up here in Toronto.
That's in Canada.
I asked Uncle Joss if he was gonna miss me and momma way out here and he said he would learn how to make do. Of course, some of the other prop and set guys were really pissed that Uncle Joss got me this gig (that's what they call it in Hollywood) and that, let me see if I get this right, 'nepotism strikes again.'
I still don't get what a flavor of ice cream has to do with getting work on a television series set.
So, here I am. Momma likes it up here better. It's a lot quieter she says. I think it's too cold here. The money's strange here too.
So Uncle Joss got me a job on the set of another series. It's in its fifth season too. It's called Queer as Folk and its about couples who are gay. Dan and Ron, those are my new bosses, asked me if I was alright with that.
I said, "sure - you can't help who you love."
They said that was very progressive of me and I told em that was what momma always told me.
They told me my momma was a very smart woman.
Well, shoot, I always knew that!
So I've been here for a week and I really love it. I kinda miss the guys though, especially Jimmy and Andy and Amy and even Mister Boreanaz. Speaking of them, Uncle Joss wanted to make sure that me and momma settled in alright up here so he sent Jimmy and Mister Boreanaz to come up with us and help us get settled in.
They came to work with me the second day I was here to meet some of the cast. I introduced them to my new friends, Peter and Gale and Scott and Randy. I don't know if I like that Hal guy yet.
I remember that day really clear-like.
"Now you be good Phil," Jimmy said to me and then he was hugging me and patting me on my back.
So I says back, "see you Jimmy...and Mister Boreanaz, it was real nice to work for you all those years."
Mister Boreanaz then did something I couldn't believe! He hugged me, then he stepped back and said, "just this once Phil, could you call me Dave?"
It was really hard but I called him Dave (not Davey though - only Jimmy can call him that). Afterall, it's hard to break a habit after five years.
Then they both walked away and they were gone. Bobby then walked up (when I first called him Mister Gant, he told me to call him Bobby) and said, "I didn't know that James Marsters or David Boreanaz were gay."
I looked at Bobby and said, "no, they're not. Why?"
"Um, because James Marsters was going down on David Boreanaz on one of the closed sets," Bobby says as he points behind him. Peter did that thing with his hand, Randy spit out his drink and Gale and Scott pretended to look everywhere else.
I don't know what the big deal was - Jimmy was always going down on Mister Boreanaz about something - whether it was his acting or his practical jokes or his wife - come to think of it, Jimmy came down on Mister Boreanaz an awful lot about his wife.
Anyways, later that same day, I got to meet Randy's boyfriend. His name is Simon.
Randy introduced us and said, "this is our new gofer, Phil. Phil, this is my boyfriend, Simon."
I shook Simon's hand and he gives me this look. Randy then smiles at me and says that I've been a huge help to everyone on the set.
I like Randy.
Simon then gives me this look and then he smiles too, just not as nice as Randy's. Then he says, "I hope the cast and crew appreciate what a hard working and dedicated staff member they have in you."
Randy looks at Simon with a frown and then whispers, "be nice."
Come to think of it, Randy's always telling Simon to 'be nice.'
From where I'm standing, he looks like he needs to be told a lot. Well, at least he said one nice thing to me.
I like Gale too. Randy and Gale like to rehearse their scenes an awful lot. They're always going over their lines and 'practicing.' Peter once told me they need to practice a lot. Come to think of it, I think Peter actually said they like to practice all the time. I don't know why, I think they've got their love-making (momma told me to not use the f-word) down cold.
They seem to practice every chance they get.
I catch them practicing everywhere too. They practice in their dressing rooms. They practice on closed sets. I once caught them practicing on Mister Postoff's desk.
All I can say is I sure hope Simon appreciates how hard working and dedicated a boyfriend he's got in Randy.
As usual, I love feedback - whatever you say, even if it's "Can't you write anything normal?" or "I've alerted the mental health facility in your area."
Also, I forget - what's the name of the comm for Gale/Randy RPS?