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Okay, next, regarding chainsaw carving - a conversation with my husband:
Joe: I don't know Maria. Chainsaw carving...well...I just don't know...
me: What's not to know. It'll be fun. I want to do it.
Joe: They're dangerous and besides...you'll just make some fucked up monster-creature-alien thing with teeth and claws...
me: No, no, no. I want to make a bear.
Joe: A bear?
me: Yeah, a bear.
Joe: A mutated bear, right?
me: No, just a bear. You know, a cute one smiling and waving 'hi.' You know, a realistic bear.
Joe: You're going to do what you want, but shit...chainsaws! Can't I just buy you the bear totem?
me: But it's more fun to create it. What could happen? They're small chainsaws.
Joe: They can still lop off a hand or a foot.
...How about cake decorating?
Joe: Will it be a mutated cake?
I guess Joe just might buy me that bear totem afterall. :P
Still, it would've been fun....