I know it's late here - it's 10:30 PM Pacific Standard Time, but I have to stay up to go lock up my restaurant, so I have to stay up till then.
Here you go - Enjoy!
******SPOILER WARNING*******This is about two parallel worlds. One which we know about and another that our Brian has found himself in. There will be a major character death in the other world - actually - there already has been. There is nothing squicky, per se. It's just a dark story. Our boys will still be together in the end and no, they won't be dead but very much alive - this is the best way I can think of to show once and for fucking all how much Brian Kinney wants to be with Justin Taylor. Just trust me but yes, this will get angsty. *******SPOILER WARNING*********
Title: Through a Mirror Darkly
Pairing: Brian/Justin - duh!
Warnings: Character Death but not what you think.
Summary: Takes a strange turn at the end of Episode 217, when Brian goes to tell Justin about his new partnership.
Disclaimers: I don't own Cowlip or the boys but I own a walk-in that is currently fucking up.
Author's Note: For the purpose of this story - Justin never went on the trip to Vermont since Mikey was a good friend to BOTH Brian and Justin and convinced Justin to stay and wait for Brian.
Chapter 1 Brian comes home from Chicago
Chapter 2 Brian tries to get some answers
Chapter 3 Brian confronts the blond in his loft
Chapter 4 Brian runs into Kip
Chapter 5 Brian learns who Justin is
Chapter 6 Brian and Michael learn more
Chapter 7 Brian gets some answers from Justin
Chapter 8 Brian goes back to the loft
Earlier in the night, he had tried to scramble for a word to call what Justin was. Not a trick. Never a trick.
The word mine had been the only word to come to mind but that word was incorrect.
Because Justin wasn't, he was his.
The other one's.
Brian continued to stare off into space, hoping that sleep would claim him soon, realizing that in this life, he was nothing more than a poor substitute. He had finally laid down and covered himself with the comforter, closing his eyes, and if he had started to card his fingers through the soft blond hair next to him, he wasn't aware of it.
Brian woke to an empty bed.
He then bolted straight up when a thought had occurred to him. It had only been a dream. There was no Kip-less parallel world where little blond boys made them feel like they were the only person that existed.
He found himself somewhat relieved, and yet more so disappointed.
Brian then shook his head clear, something he found himself doing quite frequently as of late. This was good. He had no room in his life for anyone. Love was bullshit. In and out with the minimum of...of...something.
He couldn't think about it at the moment because he suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of running water.
Without him in it. Because he was there on the bed. At least he thought he was. And as a man who believed he should find out just why the shower was running without him in it, he got up out of bed and ventured into the bathroom and stopped in his tracks at the vision before him.
The showers doors were clouded with steam, but he could still make out the lithe form and the curve of that delicious ass.
Oh yeah, Brian thought, that ass and several memories bombarded his mind.
He didn't think he should bother the kid while he was showering. Of course, that was what he was thinking, but he found his physical body deciding that it wanted to be in the shower.
Brian headed for the enclosure, opened the door, entered and started soaping Justin's back.
"Oh," Justin said. "Morning," and with that Justin smiled and kissed Brian on the lips.
"You're up awfully early," Brian said as he continued to soap Justin while nipping at his ears.
"Work this morning," Justin said as he turned back under the spray, "I promised Deb I'd be in early and take over Kiki's shift."
That little bit of information saved Brian from asking where Justin was gainfully employed. "I'm meeting Mikey for breakfast there this morning, I'll give you a ride."
"Are you going in to work today, Mr. Partner?" Justin asked while chuckling.
"Huh? What?" Brian whipped his head up. The word 'partner' had suddenly taken on a new spin and he hadn't realized what Justin had meant by it, but then it suddenly clicked into place. "Oh yeah. Um no, I'm taking the day off." Brian turned toward the spray, thinking out loud, "I think I've earned some time away. Besides, I think Vance doesn't want to see me around for the next few days. He's probably licking his wounds and I don't really need him going down on me right now."
Justin smirked evilly up at Brian. "No," Justin said with a huge smile, "but I could." And with that, Justin got down on his knees and took Brian's cock into his hands.
Now Brian was not a man to ever turn away a blow job and who was he to spoil the kid's fun. And there it was again, Brian noted. The way Justin was sucking on him, laving his member with such attention, making it seem for all the world that his cock (not yours, he kept reminding himself, his) was the only cock he would ever do this for.
And when it was over, and Brian came with an almost painful orgasm that was torn from him somewhere deep inside, his limbs still trembling from the explosion, that Brian felt that pain again.
The pain of loss. And it was for something he never even knew he had lost in the first place.
It was as if he never knew that he liked cheesecake because he had never tasted it. He'd never even knew it existed. And then someone gave him cheesecake, through some weird cosmic type of intervention and said, 'here, you just have to eat this,' and he did, and then he realized that he really, really, really liked cheesecake and he couldn't imagine not having cheesecake ever again.
But one day, he knew, without a doubt, that someone would come along, someone who had cheesecake first, and take all the cheesecake in the world away from him.
Even though he knew cheesecake wasn't really good for him.
As they both exited the shower, Justin started to rub Brian dry with the large fluffy towel. Brian reciprocated and did the same with Justin.
Justin smiled and then said, "you know," he said as he rubbed the towel over Brian's abdomen, "I think you let yourself go in Chicago. I think you might have put some weight on, Mr. Kinney."
Brian stopped. So now, after all this, he was also fatter than his counterpart?
"Oh God," Justin said while laughing, "you should so see your face...it's so classic. You are so easy Brian!"
"So...that was a joke?' Brian asked, relief slightly, only slightly, washing over his face.
"Yes! God, you look the same! You're worse than Daphne when it comes to your weight!" Justin turned toward the mirror to brush his teeth, his towel wrapped firmly around his lower half. Brian took his towel and snapped it at Justin.
"Twat!" Brian said and smiled "And what's this?" Brian asked as he dove for Justin's towel covered ass, "are you storing this up for winter?"
"Brian!" Justin laughed back and then Brian went into tickle Justin on the sides but Justin side-stepped Brian and ran into the bedroom. He then ran into the living space, Brian hot on his heels, the older man securing his towel around his narrow hips.
Brian caught Justin and tackled him to the floor, where he proceeded to tickle the youth mercilessly. "Brian, stop it! That tickles!"
Just then the loft door rolled open, and slid to a halt with a loud 'bang.'
"Oh God, not again," said the woman from the doorway.
Brian looked up quickly when he heard the voice of the woman he thought he would never see again.
"Mel!" Brian said as he immediately lifted himself off the lithe body on the floor and stood up straight, making sure his towel was in place. He then bent over and held a hand out for Justin so he could lift himself off the floor as well, Brian readjusting the boy's towel higher so it actually covered his bottom.
Lindsay cleared her throat and smiled. "Brian, Justin. Nice to see you."
"Yeah, and so much of you too, Justin," Mel said with a wink, while Justin blushed and smirked back.
"You know," Justin said, "knocking has always been the most highly accepted form in civilized society to alerting your potential host of your presence."
"But it's not as much fun," Mel said back with a smile.
Lindsay smiled at her partner and moved farther into the loft, Gus in her arms. Brian noted how happy Lindsay looked, how she seemed to glow with the warmth he knew she used to possess. She walked up to Justin and kissed him on the lips and then walked up to Brian, doing the same. "Look honey, it's daddy!" and with that Lindsay put Gus in Brian's arms.
Brian looked down at the small child, who was looking up at him with wide brown eyes. "Hey sonny boy," Brian said with a smile, slightly confused at what was taking place.
"I need to use the bathroom...please tell me there's nothing disgusting in there right now," Lindsay said.
"Just push aside the thousands of sperm filled condoms on the sink," Justin yelled out. "Oh and make sure to put the toilet seat down," Justin said jokingly.
"You've been hanging out too much with him," Mel said as she pointed to Brian. "How you doing baby?" Mel asked as she kissed Justin.
"Okay. Better now," Justin said smiling at Brian. "I'm going to get dressed," Justin said and headed for the bedroom.
Brian looked down at Gus again, feeling slightly awkward. He hadn't been this close to his son in over a year. He then looked up at Mel. "Lindsay looks happy...not so tired. I guess you always were good for her," Brian said with a shrug.
Mel stopped her trek to the kitchen counter and looked blankly at Brian. She then chuckled while narrowing her eyes as she walked into Brian's space, "who are you?"
There was a slight moment as Brian held his breath in. Had he been found out?
Mel laughed again, "and what have you done with Brian Kinney?" She laughed again and made a big show of looking around the loft. Justin walked in at that moment, followed then by Lindsay.
"What are you looking for babe?" Lindsay asked.
"Brian just paid me a compliment. I swear, if there isn't a pod around here somewhere, then I'm a Catholic priest."
Lindsay laughed with Mel. Brian finally catching on, started laughing too. She meant it as a joke, his secret was still safe.
"I don't get it," Justin said as he stared at the laughing people.
"Honey, we have got to expand your movie habits," Mel said.
"Anyways, we're sorry for barging in. I heard about the good news," Lindsay continued with a smile, "Partner in a big advertising agency!" Lindsay said while going in for a hug with Brian. "I knew you could do it." Lindsay looked at Brian closely while holding him. "Is everything fine Brian?"
"Yeah, everything's fine. It's great, even," Brian smiled. "So is that why you came by? To congratulate me on my sudden good fortune?"
"Yes," Lindsay said and let go of Brian and then took Gus from him, "and I thought it would be nice for Gus to see his daddy."
Strange occurrences indeed Brian mused. Brian smiled at the group assembled before him.
"Brian, we need to go. I don't want to be late," Justin said as he smiled up at Brian and kissed him on the lips. Justin went over to where the girls were and started to play with Gus who was still in Lindsay's arms. He then looked back at Brian and smiled that thousand watt smile again.
He found that although cheesecake was most definitely very bad for him, he didn't really want to give it up.
Screw the calories.
Meanwhile, on the same morning, in the other world...
Brian closed his eyes so he could at least pretend as if he were going to sleep, but sleep didn't come so easily, and every time he thought he was about to finally get some rest, another sharp pain would hit him squarely in the chest, and he would begin to worry again.
It wasn't until much later, until he had started to dream about running his fingers through flaxen hair, that he finally fell into a light and fitful sleep.
He would wake many times later that night.
Brian drove the Jeep to Lindsay's house; he needed to talk to her.
The first thing Brian thought upon waking on his couch - besides the obvious that he wasn't and hadn't been in his own bed and of course, the distinct lack of Justin, and not wanting to dwell on that because for a few shining moments, he had hoped to wake up finding it was all a stupid dream - was that he needed to talk to his best friend, Michael.
But Michael had been no help whatsoever the night before. So he thought about it again and realized that Lindsay was probably the better choice.
And although he knew that he would get some answers later that day from Daphne, he needed to try and do something until then because he couldn't just sit around waiting until 5:00. Besides, Lindsay was involved in the GLC and that they put artists in shows and she was into the art community. She might know something about Justin. He would talk to her and explain what was happening to him.
Besides, he needed to talk to someone who wouldn't give him a hard time about what he was going through. Lindsay was a woman, she might understand these things better.
He would talk to Debbie, but Debbie would probably slap him upside the head and tell him to get off whatever drugs he was currently tripping on.
So it was with that that he threw on some jeans and a shirt.
He had considered a shower but he just wanted to get out of the loft. But he decided he should make an effort.
He couldn't even open the shower door though. Unlike the bed the night before, the shower was too small and he wouldn't have been able to breathe in there without feeling as if the walls were closing in on him.
And also, like the night before, the ghosts had come back; they didn't seem to mind the light of day and another memory had assaulted him as he took in his shower enclosure.
"My mom says sometimes she wished she never had me," Justin said dejectedly.
"That's probably because she's stuck with this annoying brat for the rest of her life," Brian said mockingly.
And it was with that memory, that he was plagued with regret as he drove to Lindsay's. Had he accidentally wished this? Wished for his life to go back to normal, before he had met Justin that night a year and a half ago?
If it was some fucked up wish, then he wondered if he could wish it back. It sounded simple enough to him.
And he had - over and over again.
Brian parked the Jeep in front of the cozy home. He sighed in relief as he noticed Lindsay's car parked in the driveway.
Okay, he thought, this was good.
He wouldn't even care if Mel answered the door. For all he argued with the woman, he did like Mel and thought she was good for Lindsay and knew that she would probably even not be adverse to helping him in the situation he found himself in.
Brian walked up the pathway, stepped onto the porch, knocked on the door and waited.
Brian hated front doors right now. There was always something on the other side of them that didn't fit in with everything he knew, something that took him farther and farther away from Justin.
Brian knocked again and heard it; the sound of footsteps.
The front door opened.
And this time, he knew the person on the other side.
Thank God, Brian thought.
And even though Lindsay appeared rather haggard and tired looking, it was still Lindsay.
"Fuck Lindsay, you look like shit," Brian blurted out.
"I could say the same for you Brian," Lindsay said back bitterly. "Brian, what are you doing here," Lindsay asked then sighed.
"I need your help, I'm...I don't even know where to begin," Brian said as he ran his hand through his hair.
Lindsay looked at her friend and smiled slightly. "You're asking me for my help?"
"Yeah, could you help me," Brian said, hoping his plea wouldn't fall on deaf ears. "Can I come in?"
"Who's at the door Lindsay?"
And that's when Brian knew everything was not fine.
It was not alright.
That wasn't Mel's voice. It wasn't even female.
Brian saw the man as he positioned himself behind Lindsay to see who their visitor was.
"Brian? What do you want?" the man said.
Brian hated front doors.
I'm still up!!!! Like I said before - I need to stay up to go lock up the shop, soooo feedback would make me a very happy camper.