Log in

No account? Create an account
15 April 2007 @ 02:13 pm
QaF Ficlet "A Queer as Folk Toy Story" Brian/Justin  
Hello everyone!

I trust everyone's Sunday is going good. The kids are better, Joe's still sick, but oh well, the house is back to normal, and AND, it's a beautiful day in the Pacific Northwest.

At least, this hour.

I'm getting back to my feedback today for the last chapter - I'm not ignoring anyone.

People have seemed to be guessing what I wrote in the What If challenge. I don't know - I guess Ted as an evil scientist is a dead give-away.

Anywho, Rowan was playing with her dollhouse this morning and I saw some toys I had totally forgotten about. Remember them?

This is Waffle, the cat that looks like a dick:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

And this is Mr. Blik, who I wrote a little Dr Seuss ditty for:

Yep - you got it! She's got them along with her dolls, living in the house that Fisher Price built.

So I got an idea looking at them. I was thinking along the lines of Toy Story and the what if line - so I came up with this for your reading pleasure.

Title: A Queer as Folk Toy Story or What Waffle and Mr. Blik Saw
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Some indecent exposure to some helpless toys
Summary: What if toys really did come to life when no one was around ALA Toy Story? This is their story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Cowlip or the boys. I believe Mr. Blik and Waffle are property of Nickelodeon but I do own the toys. And they're both sitting in my daughter's dollhouse right now!!!

Gus continued to pound the black figure with the lighter one over and over again. "Take that evil Mr. Blik," Gus said in a deep voice. He then dropped the figure to the ground, while pretend-coughing and spluttering.

"Gus! Michael and Ben are here with JR to take you to the park," Justin yelled from the other room.

"Yee-haw!" Gus exclaimed as he ran into the other room.

The tiny black figure groaned and then got up. "Oh why does he persist in tormenting me so...and with you of all people!"

The taller and thinner of the two put his hands down at his sides. "Because I'm the nicer of the two of us, Blik."

"Well, it was rather nice to get out of the house for once. I like it better here, I must say, Waffle," Blik droned in his snobbish voice.

"It's Gus' father and his...well...I don't know exactly what the one they call 'Justin' is," Waffle said.

"Could you please speak up! You know I can't hear on that side!" Blik demanded.

"Sorry," Waffle said apologetically while taking in the state of Blik's ears. "You know that JR didn't mean to do that...snap off the one ear I mean."

Blik scoffed while he crossed his arms over his chest. "And don't make with the Reservoir Dogs jokes. I got enough of that from Gus' GI Joe. It's a good thing that cretin isn't really part of Homeland Security."

"Yeah, well at least you don't have to run around in drag," Waffle intoned while wriggling his hips and shaking his maracas.

"Yes," Blik smirked, "or live my existence as a phallic symbol."

"Okay," Waffle said, getting into fighting stance mode, "you don't want me to make any ear jokes but out you come with the dick jokes. I'm just tall and skinny..."

"With a mushroom head," Blik finished and laughed.

"Why you..."

"Sssh, I hear someone coming," Blik said as he put his hand over Waffle's mouth. They then went into their normal position while in front of the humans.

"Brian," Justin laughed.

"I thought Mikey and Ben would never get here," Brian said as he continued to manhandle Justin onto the bed.

Blik managed to spare a look at Waffle and raise one eyebrow.

Justin lost out to Brian as his body was completely covered by the taller man's. Brian kissed along Justin's neck and up into his hair. "Mmmm, smells gooooddddd...."

"Oh God," Justin moaned as he arched off his back. "Mmm....more."

Brian kneeled up on the bed and stripped his shirt off, following that with pulling Justin's shirt up, exposing his younger lover's belly. He then proceeded to kiss all along the pale chest, down into his blond happy trail.

"Oh...yeah...Brian," Justin moaned. Brian pulled Justin's zipper down, then shucked the jeans off in one swift move.

"Now, now, now, what ever do we have here?" Brian said, mockingly.

"Do you think he really doesn't know?" Waffle asked Blik.

"Sssh," Blik said.

Brian smiled up at Justin, Justin looking on in anticipation, as he shucked the underwear down over his hips and then completely off. "Brian," Justin pleaded. Brian then descended on his target and swallowed Justin's cock to the hilt, Justin arching off the bed yet again and moaning loudly.

"Wow!" Blik said. "This is new."

"Sssh," Waffle said, not looking at his counterpart, staring intently at the action going on in the bed.

"It doesn't matter," Blik said, "they can't hear us through all that moaning."

"How does it all fit in there?!" Waffle exclaimed.

Waffle and Blik continued to watch as Brian brought Justin to a 'blubbering mass of goo point,' well at least, that was what Waffle decided to call it.

"Turn around Justin," Brian whispered as he helped Justin to turn over onto his belly. The younger man then proceeded to prop himself up on his elbows, his knees tucking into his body, his ass in the air.

Brian watched it all after having shucked his own jeans and underwear, lazily stroking himself. "That's it," he said softly. He then sheathed his cock with a condom and took out a tube of lubricant, spreading it generously over his cock and Justin's...

"Where is he gonna put that thing?!?!" Waffle screeched.

Blik looked on in shock, "um...I do believe...that is to say...well, where do you think?" Blik asked in surprise.

Waffle and Blik continued to watch as Brain prepared Justin. Brian then entered the prone man, Waffle and Blik wincing.

"You would think that would hurt," Waffle said.

"It appears that the blond one is finding it quite pleasurable," Blik said.

Blik and Waffle continued to watch as the two men seemed to be enjoying each other, until one of them screamed, followed by the other one. Brian then collapsed on Justin, breathing quite heavily.

"That was," Brian managed to get out.

"Ah-ma-zing," Justin said and then laughed.

"Twat!" Brian said and threw a pillow at him.

Justin grabbed the pillow from Brian and then looked across the room.

"Gus left his toys in the room again," Justin said as he walked over to the toys and picked them up. "You know, Brian, I know this sounds weird, but I could have sworn they had different expressions on their faces before. They both look like they're in...shock...or something."

"Yeah, whatever," Brian said. "All I know is the one with the skirt looks like a penis. What idiot would give a kid a toy that looked like a penis?!"

Justin laughed and put the two toys down.

When no one was looking, Blik turned to Waffle and smiled, "told ya so."

The End

I do eventually get back to my feedback. :)
Current Mood: geekygeeky
Create Your Reality: misc study under youcourt1429 on April 15th, 2007 09:37 pm (UTC)
LOL Fabulous! And yeah, how anyone gets "cat" from "dildo with Carmen Miranda headdress" is totally beyond my comprehension. :DD
Maria: Jack I don't get itslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:01 pm (UTC)
Yeah - I still don't get it.

It looks like a dildo in drag.


shadownyc: paddies  - S5 crack-upshadownyc on April 15th, 2007 09:41 pm (UTC)

Having been subjected to Toy Story about 596744676 times over the years I can truly appreciate the brilliance of this. I love how your mind works!
Maria: Bad Mommyslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC)
Only 596744676 times?

And you call yourself a mother! Pfft!

What really pisses me off is that the DVD gets fucked up after awhile and you can't buy the damn things anymore!

And I thought of bringing Blik and Waffle back someday for some more action. :)

callie: bj_secret blisscallie89 on April 15th, 2007 09:42 pm (UTC)
Oh my darling friend,

You made a completely crappy, bad, awful, rotten day so much better for me.

Thanks.... I loved this story.

"You know, Brian, I know this sounds weird, but I could have sworn they had different expressions on their faces before. They both look like they're in...shock...or something."

Laughing hysterically.....

Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC)
Glad to oblige. :)

Thank you!
singlewoman: snickersinglewoman on April 15th, 2007 10:11 pm (UTC)
A McDonalds commercial came on while I was reading this and I could not stop laughing. I really want to know what the creators were smoking/drinking when they came up with Waffle. And why Waffle? It really is a child's first dildo!
And I don;t think the toys would have been in shock. Awe is more like it.

Loved this, as usual.
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:04 pm (UTC)
Yes! Awe is the word!

Of course, it still might look like shock to Justin.

Thank you (Blik and Waffle might have to make another appearance again).
charlie_jae on April 15th, 2007 10:30 pm (UTC)
Dude that just cracked me up, now I'm gonna wonder about my little sisters toys, hahahah
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC)
You should - you should.

I swear, they're alive.

And they repopulate! They're evil....

Thanks! :)
(Deleted comment)
Maria: Frodo doesn't live here anymoreslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:07 pm (UTC)
Yes, yes I am.

It's true.

But you still like me. :)

Chaos..panic..disorder...my work here is done.: Pikachu joyjillapet on April 15th, 2007 10:46 pm (UTC)
MWAAAHHHAAA! Adorakable!
Maria: Chicken Little dancingslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:07 pm (UTC)

my2cats: b/j lickmy2cats on April 15th, 2007 11:05 pm (UTC)
I really shouldn't be laughing,because I have the flu and everything hurts...
but damned woman...you just cracked me up.

Sorry about not giving feedback on your last chapter of *mirror* or your *what if* fiction,but this illness is really kicking my ass right now,lol.
I loved both.
Maria: cuminslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:11 pm (UTC)
*pets you*

God! I know all about the flu and the cold and the cough that's going around right now. Everyone here at home was sick.

Sorry about making everything hurt again. :(

My humor hurts sometimes.

You're so good about fb so don't you worry about it - take care and get better!


*turns on vaporizer*
Nynot_yet_defined on April 15th, 2007 11:15 pm (UTC)
bwahahahahah...that was hilarious. thank you for this. :D
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:11 pm (UTC)
Your welcome! And THANK YOU! :)
bodleianbodleian on April 15th, 2007 11:28 pm (UTC)
This makes me look at toys in a totally different light. This was fun to read.
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:12 pm (UTC)
These toys were just inspriational, ya know?!

Thank you!
mdlawmdlaw on April 15th, 2007 11:43 pm (UTC)
You are a sick, sick person. hahahahahahaha

I hated that cartoon. bwhahahahahahaha
m :)
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:13 pm (UTC)
Yes, my kids watched it a few times. I don't let them watch Nickelodeon too much (or at all, come to think of it).

Glad you liked (this, not the cartoon).

Thanks! :)
Lisabrianswalk on April 15th, 2007 11:52 pm (UTC)
Reading your intro, I thought the toys were going to have sex. Phew...

This was fun.
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:14 pm (UTC)

That's just wrong.

I do have my limits, ya know...

And yes, it was Tarantino. We always thought it was the holy grail in the case.

trishwishtrishwish on April 16th, 2007 01:26 am (UTC)
LOL!!! Brava, darling! I had a feeling a story starring the infamous Mickey Dee's toys would surface eventually... ;)
Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:15 pm (UTC)
They couldn't stay down for too long.


firehead30firehead30 on April 16th, 2007 02:29 am (UTC)
OMG I think I like how our mind works SO much better than the writers of the orginal toy sotry. You know, if I had watched your verson 409580948052 times I might still watch Disney movies.

Maria: Waffle Carmen Mirandaslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:17 pm (UTC)
Re: wheeeeeeeee

Buzz: What is that man doing to the little blond one?

Woody: You mean you don't know? Hey guys, Buzz doesn't know? *laughter*

Ham: Yeah - I don't really wanna tell him.

Yep, I can see it now and it's beautiful. *sob*

Thank you. *sniff sniff*
Re: wheeeeeeeee - firehead30 on April 16th, 2007 03:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Ny: buffy angel and spike S3not_yet_defined on April 16th, 2007 04:32 am (UTC)
mood icon - geeky
*laughs so hard i cry* ummm, i am soooo jealous of your geeky mood icon, that was one of the freaking funniest things on angel ever. i think i actually have to go grab the dvd and watch it in all its glory. right. now.
Maria: Spangel bad wigsslave_o_spike on April 16th, 2007 03:18 pm (UTC)
Re: mood icon - geeky
Yes, I loved that scene too. Especially Wes falling down and dancing (that's another one of my pics for the mood theme).

It seems that half my pics for my mood theme have vanished though. :(