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16 June 2007 @ 06:54 am
Gale/Randy RPS one shot  
I couldn't sleep. Just woke up and started typing this. Just to bring myself back into the fandom I guess.

I think you could classify it as a Mary Sue too.

*scratches head*

Also, I just wanted to say another THANK YOU to everyone who sent me hugs the other day. A few people expressed that they didn't have the words of what they could say to make it better.

I say you don't need words. Just being there for me was and is enough.

*Hugs f-list again*

Also, if you do not want to lose an hour and a half of your life that you can never get back again? Do not, and I repeat DO NOT go see the Fantastic Four movie.

Yes, it is that bad!!!!

So here you go, just a little RPS something from me...

Title: Waking Gale
Pairing: Randy/Gale
Warning: RPS but really, there is no sex. Just people calling people in the middle of the night and some language.
Summary: Randy calls Gale in the middle of the night to talk about life, the universe and eating one's ass...


"Randy? What the fuck? It's like," Gale says as he grabs the alarm clock next to the bed and growls into the phone receiver, "it's 2 fucking 30 in the morning!"

"I was reading livejournal again," Randy said in a small voice.

"Aw hell Randy," Gale whined while sitting up in bed and running his hand over his face to wake himself up. Anyone else he would be yelling at and telling them to go fuck themselves after threatening their lives as well as their current or future progeny. But this was Randy. "I told you to stay away from that shit." Gale was confronted by silence and then sighed. "Okay, what did you find this time. More of that 'RPT' shit?"

"RPS," Randy corrected, "and no. This was the fanfiction stuff."

"Oh great," Gale snickered and smiled. Randy hated reading that crap and was always so offended by what the writers would do with his character, Justin. Oddly enough, Randy never minded the RPS. "So was I a pirate? A CIA agent. What? Were you," Gale stopped to snort, "pregnant again." Gale's voice became gruff, "or was I?"

"No, nothing like that," Randy said softly and then went on. "This lady, I swear Gale, she's wack. You were a cannibal." Randy tried hard not to start laughing and then gave up when he heard Gale's reaction on the other end. "Stop laughing Gale, this isn't funny."

"A cannibal?" Gale spit out through his chuckling. "So did I fuck you, said 'I don't believe in love, I believe in eating' and eat you or something?"

"No, actually...oh God...I can't go on," Randy started to sputter and laugh. "Oh God, the best part...oh god oh god," Randy said as he tried to get the words out while trying not to laugh, "she made Dan and Ron into sausage." Randy could hear the sounds of Gale's giggles on the other line. The sound of Gale giggling made Randy laugh even harder.

"What, no Shawn? How come he didn't get in on the action?" Gale asked reigning himself in again.

"Oh fuck I forgot about that part," Randy exclaimed into the phone. "You pulled Shawn's teeth out and made a choker out of them, as a gift to me," Randy got out before he started doubling over. "Shit! I hope I didn't wake Simon up! He hates when I read this shit," Randy said more quietly.

"Well, he should," Gale said as he got himself under control again.


"Yeah?" and Gale could have bet good money on what was coming next.

"If you were a cannibal, would you...um...eat me?"

Oh yeah, too bad he wasn't a betting man. "Yep, only I'd get about as far as your ass and would be so full I couldn't eat anymore so I'd set you free."

"Fuck you," Randy shouted into the phone. "Shit," Randy whispered and giggled again. "I don't want to wake up Simon. You know," Randy said while leaning back in his chair, "you sorta are a cannibal. I mean, you already ate my ass..."

Gale could almost make the lip-bite out over the phone. "Yeah," he said while remembering times way back when and laughed. They both chuckled again and said 'Cumin' into the phone at the same time.

"I'll let you get back to sleep, Gale," Randy said quietly into the phone.

"Don't read that shit anymore, okay?" Gale said.



"Promise," Randy said.

"G'night Randy," Gale said and then added quickly, "and Randy?"


"I wouldn't eat you," Gale said. Simon maybe but he decided not to add that part.

"Later," Randy said with a smile and hung up. He turned back to the glow of his monitor. He knew he shouldn't be looking. It was awfully late after all.

Half an hour later...

Gale heard the phone ring and picked up the offending thing. Once again he found himself looking at the alarm clock on his nightstand and knew why they called them 'alarm' clocks.

He looked at the caller ID. "Randy! It's 3 fucking AM. What is it now?"

"You're not going to believe what that lady wrote about us this time..."


You know how I feel about fb. And yeah, it's not the greatest thing I've ever written.

Just a one off.

Current Mood: awakeawake
shadownyc: paddies  - S5 crack-upshadownyc on June 16th, 2007 02:38 pm (UTC)
LOL--You really do have a brilliant mind!

"I wouldn't eat you," Gale said. Simon maybe but he decided not to add that part.

That line was priceless. ;b
Maria: Gale Misunderstood Cannibalslave_o_spike on June 16th, 2007 02:48 pm (UTC)
Brilliant? Okay then. Defiitely 'wack' as Randy would say! (I think he would at least).

And God! Could I get sued for that line?!?!

LOL! Thank you. :)
zortrana: Laughingzortrana on June 16th, 2007 02:51 pm (UTC)
*giggles like Gale*
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on June 16th, 2007 03:02 pm (UTC)
Gale giggling.

Oh God, what have I done?!

Thanks! :)
my2cats: cracks upmy2cats on June 16th, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC)
mmm....I am wondering who this *wacked* lady is who writes this fiction about Brian/Justin.LOL

Thanks for making me LOL first thing in the morning.

Maria: cannibal fic I love my spleenless gay soslave_o_spike on June 16th, 2007 03:22 pm (UTC)
I have no idea. *whistles and looks away innocently*

Must be the other cannibal lady...

And your welcome. :)
Alexander: TigerHugsashmedai on June 16th, 2007 04:15 pm (UTC)
Glad to see you posted! And RPS about the craziness that is LJ has always been one of my favorite fic topics - loved it! :D :D

Maria: Justin Uhmslave_o_spike on June 17th, 2007 05:16 am (UTC)
How can one resist the temptation to write RPS as it probably really happens.

I really do see these guys reading the stuff we write...

Okay, don't laugh, I know they have lives but...

mdlawmdlaw on June 16th, 2007 04:22 pm (UTC)
You are truly misguided. m :)
Maria: Danny Equus Mad but Beautifulslave_o_spike on June 17th, 2007 05:16 am (UTC)
Yep. But, I know I am...


singlewoman: snickersinglewoman on June 16th, 2007 04:39 pm (UTC)
You really are wack, but we love you all the more for it! This gave me such a great chuckle all the way through. Just the thought of Gale giggling makes me laugh.

And I love Randy not being upset by the RPS but being offended by what is done to Justin was great.
Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on June 17th, 2007 05:18 am (UTC)
I know - giggling and Gale! Guh!

And yeah. I could so see Randy okay with the RPS cuz, you know, but then reading about how he's repeatedly raped, mute, (overall wearing)...well you get the idea. :P

Thanks luv! (And I just posted another set of ficlet thingies).
Bluemchenkaffee: galebluemchenkaffee on June 16th, 2007 04:44 pm (UTC)
LOL!! This was hilarious!
"Don't read that shit anymore, okay?" Gale said.


But I definitely want to read it. :)

It's wonderful to see you writing again.

Maria: Justin smilingslave_o_spike on June 17th, 2007 05:19 am (UTC)
Thank you! Yes, we need to read it but Randy should most definitely NOT!!!


And I just wrote again. It's up. Thank you!!!
My Flame Burns Bright: BJ - 308 Heartsuch_a_steph on June 16th, 2007 05:03 pm (UTC)
*smooches* I come for a flying visit & I can't help myself. It's Maria fic and it's G/R must read!!. Thanks for making my day, I loved it :D
Maria: cuminslave_o_spike on June 17th, 2007 05:20 am (UTC)
*licks you*

Glad you loved! I wrote some Emmett stuff and just posted it too. Thanks!
Doriantdorian on June 16th, 2007 08:49 pm (UTC)
I really don't care if it's not the greatest thing you had written .Because it's the first thing you've posted for a while and...DAMN IT4S FUCKING GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK !!!!!!!!! YAYYYYY !!!
And i've giggled too ! "Yep, only I'd get about as far as your ass and would be so full I couldn't eat anymore so I'd set you free." priceless !!! Aida
Maria: Spike I'm Backslave_o_spike on June 17th, 2007 05:22 am (UTC)
I'm baaaccckkk!

LOL! Had to put an ass crack (no pun intended) in there. It's me.

And oh yeah, I just posted some Emmett stuff too just now. Thanks Aida!!!!
bodleianbodleian on June 16th, 2007 10:24 pm (UTC)
You may not have thought that it is the greatest thing you have written but I thought that it was a lot of fun. You made me giggle. I'm glad to see you posting.
Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on June 17th, 2007 05:39 am (UTC)
Yep, I'm back! :) Glad you liked.

And hey, I am so so sorry that I missed your birthday. So Happy Birthday you!

*spanks birthday girl*

*rubs salve over sore bum*

Hope it was a good one! :):):)

(no subject) - bodleian on June 17th, 2007 08:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
critic75: Bush and zippercritic75 on June 16th, 2007 11:58 pm (UTC)
I L O V E RPS. Yes, even PG rps, and what's not to love in this story that even has my cannibal and wacky lady author in it, but you have whetted my appetite for more. More cannibals, not more rps. You do realize that Ethan is still waiting in the pen and Justin is still there wearing those sexy overalls with Mikey scratching himself in the corner while Ben thinks up a new game for them to play.
The references to eating Randy's ass and being too full to proceed any further was priceless, but also took the story out of the G rating into the PG.
You're on a roll now. Love the fics. Don't stop. Keep on rolling.
Maria: Listening to Satanic musicslave_o_spike on June 17th, 2007 05:38 am (UTC)
Yes, Ethan is still there and so is Mikey - still scratching and I even think he's been getting the lice out of Ted's hair too while scratching in the corner.

And as far as being on a roll? Check out what I just posted. You should like. Don't worry - I'll get to the cannibals...

Thanks Joyce!
Still want him in your pack?_alicesprings on June 17th, 2007 12:16 am (UTC)
Maria: cannibal fic I love my spleenless gay soslave_o_spike on June 17th, 2007 05:36 am (UTC)
*laughs with you*

It's hard to keep a straight face when I try to explain to someone what I write.
Lisabrianswalk on June 17th, 2007 03:50 am (UTC)
Only for you would I read RPS. And only because you promised no nookie.
This was fun.
Maria: Justin Fun Fun Funslave_o_spike on June 17th, 2007 05:35 am (UTC)
Yeah. It's hard for me to write porn RPS because it's just not them, but this, this, I could so see happening.


Thanks! And I just posted 3 crossover ficlets that I think you might like if you're injto movies.
qafmaniac: Brian 308 Funnyqafmaniac on June 17th, 2007 06:53 am (UTC)

And she wrote an RPS and I've read it and she said it's not her best thing ever but I think it's great and I can't stop laughing and....WHAT??What was that?Cannibal!Brian?Mhhhh..must be a very wacky woman! ;)

"So did I fuck you, said 'I don't believe in love, I believe in eating' and eat you or something?"

Bwahahahahahahaha.....GREAT! JUST GREAT!


Maria: cannibal fic I8 my husbandslave_o_spike on June 19th, 2007 05:25 am (UTC)
I'm back. *skips around* I'm back!!!!

And yes, I could imagine this scene playing in my head (in fact, I bet it has!!!! only with Gale being more pissed off at Randy).

Yeah, had to take the 'I don't believe in love, I believe in fucking' standard and switch it up! Love you too Tita!!!! Thanks!
(Deleted comment)
Maria: Jack I don't get itslave_o_spike on June 19th, 2007 05:23 am (UTC)
Thank you!!!

RPS is Real Person Slash. And it's okay. When I first checked out fanfiction, I was like, RPS? What the fuck? And then I saw names for the Buffyverse I didn't recognize on the show until I realized that the names were the actor's name *facepalm*