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16 June 2007 @ 10:12 pm
A series of xover ficlets - "The Many Loves of Emmett"  
Hi again. So remember when the drabble challenge issued a few weeks ago was for QaF crossovers? Well, I had these three in mind and then, well, I got side tracked.

So I decided to post them anyway. And oh yeah, they're no longer drabbles because they're just too fucking long. So they're part of the challenge but they're too late and they're not drabbles cuz they're too long.

You know me and rules.

Here they are...

And, oh yeah - *points to icon* - that's Ash in case you were wondering. I think you all know Dr. Peter Venkman and the Terminator.

Title: Emmett and Ash
Pairing: Emmett/Ash (Bruce Campbell)
Crossover: The Evil Dead trilogy

"Oh Ash! Ash!" Emmett squealed as he caught sight of the man he had been with in the biblical sense last night.

"You were with him?" Ted asked taken aback. "Why does he have a chainsaw for an arm?"

"It's for a hand, Teddy. He lost his hand...somewhere," Emmett said as he waved his hand in the air. "But you should see the other attachment he had last night. Oh my Lord...oh my," Emmett said as he remembered the night before fondly.

"Oh hey Emmett," Ash said as he scratched his head and looked around.

"I was wondering," Emmett said as he leaned into his lover's body, "what your plans for tonight might perchance be," Emmett asked with a tilt of his head.

"Yeah...about that, I gotta tell you about last night..."

Emmett knew that tone. He was suddenly on the alert and defensive. "But all those things you said to me when we were making love..."

"Ah that was just pillow talk, baby," Ash said and just then the most hideous looking witch came out of nowhere and started attacking Ash with its long, ugly claws.

"Debbie, a distant relation of yours is here," Brian yelled out.

"I gotta go Emmett," Ash said and turned to face the demon spawn while licking his upper lip, "I've got a date with a witch tonight." And with that Ash started up his chainsaw-hand and took off after the acrobatic demon.

Emmet sighed as he realized he had lost his heart to another man who was confused about where his preferences lay.

Damn. He would really miss that hand too.

Title: Emmett and the Terminator
Pairing: Emmett/Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger)
Crossover: Terminator

"Hiya baby," Emmett said as he kissed Ted on the lips upon entering Woody's.

"Hey Emmett. Gotten over Ash finally and decided to join us again?" Ted asked, a hint of worry evident in his large, expressive eyes.

"Yeah. It just wasn't mean to be," Emmett said wistfully. "I'll just have to start looking for the man of my dreams to get my mind off him." Just then a large man in a black t-shirt and jeans walked into the club. "Oooh, wake me up cuz here's the man of my dreams now," Emmett said as he sauntered over to the large man.

"Hiya big, tall and well...I think handsome. Maybe we could take those dark glasses off," Emmett said as he started to take off the sunglasses.

The man put his hand on Emmett's wrist. "Fuck you asshole."

"Well, you don't have to get so nasty about it," Emmett said with a pout. "How 'bout you come to our table and sit with me and my friend and..."

"I'm looking for Sarah Connor."

Emmett sighed. Oh great! Another would-be-lover thwarted once again because of their indecisiveness.

And damn, but this one looked like he would be a positively brutal top. Emmett salivated at the thought. "Are you sure you don't want to come back to our table?" Emmett asked in his best sing-song voice.

The tall man looked down at Emmett. "I'll be back," and with that the large man left.

Emmett sighed once more and walked back to his table.

He knew a brush off when he heard one.

Title: Emmett and the Doctor
Pairing: Emmett/Peter Venkman (Bill Murray)
Crossover: Ghostbusters

"Oh Peter! Peter," Emmett waved at the man who just entered the diner.

"Who's that Emmett?" Ted asked his friend.

"He's a doctor. Dr. Vatican or Venkin or something," Emmett said as he waved his hand around.

"What's he wearing? He's a doctor?" Brian asked incredulously. "He looks like an exterminator."

"And why does the pack on his back have a nuclear warning sign on it?" Justin asked. As the man neared the table, Brian and Justin vacated the spot.

In fact, they left the diner altogether.

"You are under the mistaken impression that I," Peter said as he pointed to himself, "should know you," Peter finished while pointing to Emmett.

"Peter...honey," Emmett said, whispering urgently while taking hold of Peter's arm, "don't you remember last night?"

"Last night...hmmm...last night...last night," Peter said as he rolled his eyes around and thought long and hard. "Oh yeah...yeah. Hey," Peter said as he looked more closely at Emmett. "You're a guy!"

"Um yeah...I am. Wasn't the twelve inch cock a dead giveaway?" Emmett asked.

"But you're a guy!" Peter said incredulously again.

"You didn't seem to care too much about it last night," Emmett said, hurt evident in his voice.

"And twelve inches?" Peter said with a lift of his eyebrow. "I must've been completely shit-face drunk last night," he said while shaking his head.

"Peter! Peter!" a guy said as he ran into the diner. "Come on. Ray got a sample of a new rare, unprecedented ectoplasmic residue that you just gotta see right now."

"Later Egon, I am having the weirdest day," Peter exclaimed.

"Wrap it up Peter," Egon said and was gone.

"I gotta go Emma," Peter said as he looked at Emmett.


"Whatever. Egon's got some snot he wants me to take a look at so hey, you know, I gotta go. Duty calls but it's been fun catching up," Peter said, trying to leave without causing a scene.

"But Peter," Emmet said with a pout, "all those things you said to me last night..."

"Ah that was just pillow talk baby..."

Feedback is loved and welcome as usual.
Current Mood: awakeawake
His Minniemaxmygothangel on June 17th, 2007 06:10 am (UTC)
heee! I loved the Terminator one...
"I'll be back" is actually one of my favourite quotes - never fails to make me laugh when someone says it :-D
Maria: aliens harsh languageslave_o_spike on June 18th, 2007 03:01 pm (UTC)
It's mine too.

I wonder if Emmett knows the full implication of it? LOL!

critic75: Fuck 'm Allcritic75 on June 17th, 2007 06:38 am (UTC)
Ah, Emmett, ever optimistic, and finding love in all the wrong places. Make that all the wrong men who wind up being confused, indecisive, and unsure of their preferences, but who all seem to have the pillow talk down pat. I guess players abound in all genres.
A very well done Emmett. His voice rings true. Nicely done, sos.

Still chuckling over Emma and Peter.
Maria: Justin smilingslave_o_spike on June 18th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC)
Even the Terminator has the pillow talk down. *shrugs*

Thank you (I always hope I get Emmett right). SOS? (I'm still sometimes so aconym-illiterate).

critic75critic75 on June 18th, 2007 08:18 pm (UTC)
My bad, but well, it's your acronym. I am not always sure whether I should use LJers real names or use their LJ names, and then I was too lazy to write slave_o_spike, so I just shortened it to s_o_s. Or even shorter, sos, and I didn't mean save our ship. I don't even think they use that anymore. They changed it to Mayday, and I forget the morse code for that. I could call you dit dit dit, dah dah dah, dit dit dit instead, if you like, maybe.
I am also acronym illiterate. I had to call a friend and threaten her, just to tell me what ROFLMAO meant.
Maria: money shotslave_o_spike on June 19th, 2007 05:27 am (UTC)
I like the dit dit dit dah dah dah dit dit dit.

But I think slave_o_spike would be easier (or just Maria's fine).


dit dit dit dah dah dah dit dit dit
sonofabiscuit77: Brian unimpressedsonofabiscuit77 on June 17th, 2007 09:28 am (UTC)
Love it! Emmett and Ash probably my favourite, I admire the way he wasn't put off the chainsaw for a hand and of course you've gotta love The Evil Dead! But Emmett and Terminator... hee! As usual, you dish up the highest quality crack :-)
Maria: My Fandom has chainsawsslave_o_spike on June 18th, 2007 03:04 pm (UTC)
Yeah, he might have been put off by the chainsaw...until he saw the new attachment! LOL!

Gotta love Ash and I do immensely!

Thanks! :)
Lisabrianswalk on June 17th, 2007 10:17 am (UTC)
Gotta admit, the thought of The Terminator as a brutal top, my first thought was *ouch*. Brian and Justin leaving the diner made me snicker. Smart men.

Poor Emmett. I always hoped he found true love beyond season 5.
Maria: BJ copulatingslave_o_spike on June 18th, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC)
Fuck! He'd cleave Emmett in two! And Brian and Justin are always a step ahead of everyone else. :)

(Deleted comment)
Maria: My Fandom has chainsawsslave_o_spike on June 18th, 2007 03:06 pm (UTC)
Yeah, the icon is scary. I found it last summer in my horror_icons comm. I thought it would be perfect for my cannibal story.

Terminator? Oh yeah. Emmett is so smitten with him doncha know.

singlewomansinglewoman on June 17th, 2007 09:03 pm (UTC)
You really crack me up. I have missed your deadly sense of humor. Poor Emmett, always looking for love in all the wrong places.
Maria: BJ Caughtslave_o_spike on June 18th, 2007 03:07 pm (UTC)
I should probably do more of these. And 'deadly' is spot on. LOL!

Thanks! :)
mdlawmdlaw on June 17th, 2007 10:37 pm (UTC)
You are truly twisted. m :)
but....."I'LL BE BACK!!!"
Maria: aliens harsh languageslave_o_spike on June 18th, 2007 03:08 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah! The ever present brush off - aw, if Emmett only knew what it really meant. *sigh*

*car crashes through Woody's*

LOL! Thank you!!!
Zinneh is Jesus: Boy Kisseszinnydark on June 18th, 2007 12:06 am (UTC)

Emmet/Ash is my new OTP. Srsly.

And the others, of course, are equally awesome, but...

"Debbie, a distant relation of yours is here," Brian yelled out.
I love you!
Maria: My Fandom has chainsawsslave_o_spike on June 18th, 2007 03:09 pm (UTC)
Aw, I love you too! *smooches*

I couldn't resist writing that line. *g*

And oh yeah, Emmett and Ash are SO the 'It' couple right now. *nods head*

Thank you!!!!
Jude: Emmettflashfly on June 19th, 2007 02:48 am (UTC)
Loved the Terminator one and wouldn't mind a sequel where he does come back. :D
Maria: Justin Fun Fun Funslave_o_spike on June 19th, 2007 05:19 am (UTC)
Ah, so you wanna see the Terminator drive through Woody's proving, of course, to Emmett that it wasn't just a brush off.

LOL! Now that would be something! :)
Doriantdorian on June 20th, 2007 11:52 am (UTC)
So good ! you have me laugh like crazy again !!!! thanx.aida
Maria: Justin smilingslave_o_spike on June 20th, 2007 09:52 pm (UTC)
LOL! Well, then my job is done. :) Thanks!!!!
girloftheburbsgirloftheburbs on July 4th, 2007 09:39 am (UTC)
Especially the Ghostbusters one!! LOL!
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on July 9th, 2007 09:15 pm (UTC)
Re: Hilarious!!
You know me - I just can't keep things serious for too long. LOL!

Thank you!!!!
Sid401k: Pipsid401k on August 21st, 2018 07:12 pm (UTC)
I'd call this unrealistic and OOC, but I well remember Emmett's 45-minute love affair from 120!