Genre: Bad!fic, crack!fic - I dunno - take your pic - I don't really give a shit.
Warnings: God, where do I even begin? Sacrilege, demon worship, mPreg, bad language, drugged sex, bad!fic, crack!fic and mentions of the high cost of housing.
Summary: Based very loosely on Rosemary's Baby. Justin gets more than he bargained for when he moves into the apartment of his dreams.
Disclaimer: Don't own Cowlip or the boys and I do not know there wherabouts of Hoffa.
I apologize in advance to Roman Polanski.
NOTE: This series will contain mPreg and demon worship and many references to sacrilege. If this offends you, then DO NOT PANIC. THAT MEANS YOU ARE NORMAL!!!! But you could read it anyway and no one will tell.
Well, they probably will, and then laugh and point and stare, but hey, in a hundred years, who'll care? *shrugs*
Thanks go to fiercediva for the icon and poster. Thank you babe! *smooches*
Chapter 1 - Justin follows a lead
Justin couldn't believe his luck when he was called back to the apartment building and Debbie told him he got the place.
Now Justin was not stupid. He certainly must not have been the highest bidder, and he thought to look further into it; to see what exactly was going on or if this was for real when he looked over at one of his roommates who had been spraying his feet at the time because of a particular nasty fungus infection and then went into the kitchen to prepare a Hot Pocket when he noticed that a colony of cockroaches had decided to take up residence in the microwave.
He could have sworn one of the cockroaches had flipped him off.
So it was with that that he decided he would not look a gift horse in the mouth. And if the gift horse was the beautiful, affordable and clean apartment of his dreams, he would not question Debbie's, or for that matter, the owner's, intentions.
Maybe he just looked like the sort who wouldn't complain about a stopped up drain or the thermostat being kept low during the winter.
And now here he was, just a scant day after receiving the call from Debbie, standing in his living room (his living room - not a communal one) with a roller and a bucket of paint, washing his walls (his walls) in a seafoam green, wearing nothing but a pair of white, paint-spattered overalls and a huge shit-eating grin. He was making this his home and he couldn't be any more pleased.
This was his home now.
As he took a look around the room, he wondered briefly if it had been wise to not call his new friends, Billy and Roger, to help but decided he was right - he wanted to do this all by himself. Just as Justin was about to dip the roller into the tray, he heard a knock at the door. Justin put the roller down, padded over to the door and opened it to come face to face with two grocery bags.
"Hello?" Justin said tentatively to the person hidden behind the bags.
"Hey Sunshine!" Debbie said cheerfully as she poked her head out from the side of one bag.
"Debbie!" Justin exclaimed.
"Hey, give an old lady a hand here, will ya?" Debbie asked slightly out of breath.
"Oh God, yes, sorry!" Justin said as he leaned forward and grabbed the bags. He ran them over to the kitchen and placed the parcels down on the counter, and then turned to face Debbie.
"What's all this Deb?" Justin asked.
"Just a few things to welcome you to the building. You look like you need someone to take care of you baby," Debbie said as she started to unpack the bags.
"Oh Debbie, you didn't have to...that's so sweet," Justin sighed. "Besides, I can take care of myself," Justin said defiantly.
"Of course you can sweetie," Debbie said as she patted him on the side of the face. "But isn't it kinda nice to have some help now and then?"
"Yeah, it is," Justin conceded.
"You all finished unpacking hon?" Debbie asked cheerily.
"Yeah, it was the longest ten minutes of my life," Justin chuckled as he put a loaf of bread away.
Debbie looked on in confusion. "Light traveler?"
"My father didn't give me a whole lot of time to pack and leave the house when he disowned me," he replied sardonically. At Debbie's furrowed brow, he continued, "he was a bit upset about me going to art school. Said it was for fags and dilettantes. So I informed him that the good news is that I'm not a dilettante. He didn't take the news so well...I mean, not every parent is like you Deb," Justin said quietly while looking down at the vegetable in his hand. "Okra?"
"It's good for you," Debbie said as she pointed a finger at Justin. Debbie turned to put the eggs away, but also so that the boy couldn't see her face, having been quite affected by what Justin had just admitted.
Justin snapped out of his mood and put a smile on his face, to alleviate the tension, when he came to a small pan of something with a foil lid atop. "What's this?"
"That's my special lasagna! For your first dinner in your new home Sunshine!" Debbie smiled.
"You made me my own pan of lasagna?" Justin asked sweetly. "Thank you Debbie," Justin said and leaned in to hug the woman.
Debbie squeezed him back and sighed. She could get very attached to this kid.
But she needed to put these thoughts out of her mind.
Justin could not believe he had ever harbored any doubts about this sweet woman. Justin looked up from hugging Debbie when he heard some mumbled whispering at the doorway and was shocked to see a few people standing in the hall, looking directly at him. They immediately stopped their hushed conversation to regard their new neighbor. Justin stepped out of the fierce embrace of the woman and looked toward the trio of people and waved.
"Hi," Justin said shyly.
"Well look at you," the tallest of the three men, and the most flamboyantly dressed, said as he came forward and embraced Justin. "You are by far the yummiest thing I've ever seen!" The man squeezed Justin once more before releasing him and turned to Debbie, "can I keep him?"
"Emmett," Debbie said and shook her head. "Justin, this is Emmett. Emmett, this is Justin."
"Hi Emmett," Justin smiled. There was something so friendly and sincere about the tall man that Justin couldn't help but feel a slight bit of warmth from him.
"Don't hog him all for yourself Em!" another man said. He was slightly smaller and held out his hand. "I'm Darren, but sometimes I go by Shanda Leer," he said as he batted his eyelashes in mock exaggeration.
"Shanda Leer?" Justin asked.
"My stage name sweetie. Oh, you, me and Em just have to get together at night sometime. It'll be so much fun," Darren gushed.
Images of doing each other's nails and curlers in their hair popped into Justin's mind. He snapped out of it to regard the last man he had yet to meet. A man with an intensely dark gaze, who had been staring at him the whole time.
"Hi, I'm Ted," the last man said haltingly. He nodded in Justin's direction and smiled. Justin smiled back. "I'm a doctor."
"A doctor, really?" Justin queried. "General practice, a surgeon..."
"No," Ted scoffed. "I'm an OB/GYN. Yeah," Ted nodded distractedly, "I'm a gay man who looks at snatch all day. All my life I wanted to be a doctor. Word of advice - when you sign a contract, make sure to look at the fine print," Ted said sternly.
"Er...okay," Justin nodded. He had no idea what the man was talking about, but he wanted to make friends in the building so he would just go with the flow.
"Yeah," Ted nodded again and rolled his eyes, "I really love my job."
Emmett patted Ted's shoulder and Ted moved over to join his friends.
"Well, we each have our own apartment on the second floor. I'm in A, Darren's in C and Ted's in B. You come over whenever you want to sweetie. The door's always open for you," Emmett said as he put an arm around Justin. "Unless, of course," Emmett leaned down and said under his breath, "the door's locked and I'm entertaining some big, beefy top, if you know what I mean."
"How are those fantasies working out for you?" Ted queried Emmett.
"It could happen!" Emmett pouted.
"Okay boys," Debbie said as she corralled the men together and pushed them towards the door. Just then a man walked in.
A man who looked exactly like Steve Buscemi.
"Hey Deb," the man said as he walked forward.
"Joe," Debbie nodded.
"I just checked Ralph's faucet and it's clear!" The man named Joe stopped and regarded Justin. "Hey hi, how you doin? So you the new guy?"
"Yeah," Justin nodded, "and I'm guessing you're the Sup?"
"Got it in one Mensa Boy. What are you? A college grad?" the man snarked back.
"He's going to the Art Institute now. He just started," Debbie jumped in. "He's on scholarship," she said proudly.
Justin blushed at the praise.
"Of course, how could he not, what with his GPA and those high SAT scores! 1500!" Debbie continued gushing.
"My GPA? My SAT scores?" Justin started breaking in. "But how did you know something like that..."
"1500, huh?" Joe said with a raised eyebrow. "Okay, so answer me this. If hair is traveling down drain A at two feet per second, and hair is traveling down Drain B at three feet per second, when will they meet?"
"Um," Justin stuttered.
"I don't really give a fucking shit. Just make sure all that blond hair of yours doesn't start clogging the drain or I'll have some words with you. Two to be exact. 'Fuck' and 'you,'" Joe ranted and continued. "And then I'll use your dick as a snake to unclog the drains. And if you even think of getting anything stuck down the toilet, I'll use that pretty mouth of yours as a fucking plunger. Of course, I bet you've had a lot of practice, am I right? I could replace my Hoover with that mouth. How many guys tell you that when you've gone down on them?"
"None but I told your mother that when she went down on me," Justin shot back.
"Oh yeah," Joe nodded. "I like this kid. We'll be really good friends," Joe said as looked directly at Justin and winked.
Justin liked Joe already.
"Oh Sunshine! You bonded with Joe!" Debbie exclaimed and smiled.
"I'll try to contain my excitement," Justin droned.
"This don't mean we're married kid," Joe said as he pointed to the boy and then turned to leave. Justin watched as the man walked out of his apartment.
"Well...he's certainly...um...different," Justin said.
"Yes, he is," Emmett whispered conspiratorially, "but you should see the size of his cock!" Emmett fanned himself as he remembered the image.
"Emmett!" Ted exclaimed. "Joe's straight!"
"Honey, no man is straight when I go down on them," Emmett laughed, Darren joining in.
"Can we please stop talking about 'going down on anyone' anymore? It's starting to give me a fucking complex," Debbie said. "We should go and give Sunshine a chance to finish up his painting."
"Debbie? You knew my GPA...and my SAT scores?" Justin laughed.
"I did have to do a background check on you sweetie. It's just policy. The company that does that is very thorough."
"Huh," Justin snickered, "so the horror stories based on someone's 'permanent record' are true."
"Please," Ted said as he sighed, "let's not even go there."
"Like I said before baby, you come on down and see me anytime. I'm always there," Emmett said and gave one last squeeze to Justin's shoulders.
"Ditto," Darren said as he leaned in to kiss Justin's cheek.
"I'd give you my business card to see if there's anything you need, but well, you have a dick," Ted said as he shrugged his shoulders, "not that that's a bad thing, but you know, it's not good for business...my love life, yes, not that you would be in any way, shape or form in my love life...not that you're not attractive, and...I guess I'll be shutting up now."
Justin watched as the three turned around and walked out of the apartment, followed by Debbie who gave one last pinch to his cheek. "Half an hour at 350 for the lasagna baby," Debbie said as she walked out the door.
Justin looked at the door where everyone had just vacated and smiled.
He would definitely like it here.
He was about to close the door when he realized he should leave it open so the paint fumes wouldn't build up. He walked to the wall and picked up the roller and continued to paint.
Up and down.
Side to side.
He was so engrossed in his work that he never heard the footsteps behind him.
Which is why he jumped with the roller in his hand when a hand descended on his bare shoulder. Justin swung around quickly and the head of the roller rolled right over the man in the very expensive suit.
Justin looked at the paint he had just smeared across the very nicely cut suit, a suit no doubt that was not off the rack at Sears.
"Oh God...I am so sorry," Justin stammered as he looked up into the face of the most beautiful man he had ever laid eyes on.
A man who's suit he just ruined.
The man sighed and then reached up and straightened his tie. He then looked down at the paint smeared across his chest. He sighed again and put his tongue in his cheek. Smirking down at Justin, the man held out his hand. "I'm Brian. Brian Kinney. Your neighbor. And you owe me a new suit."
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