Title: My Life as a Gopher
Fandom: Angel the Series
Warnings: THIS IS RPS - Do not read if you do not like real-person slash. There is nothing of offense in this chapter.
Disclaimers: I do not own Uncle Joss, Mister Boreanaz, Jimmy, J, my own personal housekeeper, a dog, a Mercedes.....so don't sue, you won't get much and it'll make Phil sad.
We live in a sorta run down area of Los Angeles. The house is real nice though. Uncle Joss bought it for momma and me. Momma doesn't like charity but she was talked into it by Uncle Joss when he said something about tax shelters and write-offs.
It's one of those big, old homes and momma talked about getting some boarders to help pay for the bills. So we have about four people besides momma and me living here with us.
One of the boarders has the whole basement to herself. She's kinda pretty. She reminds me of Bunny from "Pulp Fiction." She sounds like her too. Her name's Mandy. I don't really think she notices me though. She keeps pretty much to herself and besides, why would a woman who has as many guys coming to see her (practically a different one every night, come to think of it) take a liking to me?
I asked momma about her once and momma got real nervous and told me to pay her no mind.
So I don't, cause momma's always right.
Sometimes, I just can't stop thinking about Mandy though, like now....
"Excuse me...um, Mr. Whedon? Mr. Whedon?"
"My name's Phil."
I get this alot.
"Phil? But you look just like..."
I was just about to tell the pretty-looking lady my name again when Andy came rushing over and took the pretty-looking lady by the elbow.
"Oh hi! You're Tricia, right?" Andy was saying.
"Why yes, yes I am. Oh my! Oh my! You're Andy Hallet, aren't you? You play Lorne," the pretty-looking lady was gushing (I know what the word 'gushing' means cause I once heard Mister Boreanaz call all of Jimmy's fans 'gushing schoolgirls' so I asked Uncle Joss what that meant).
Andy looked at the lady and chuckled saying "Oh, I think you're right. I was wondering where I recognized me from."
The pretty looking lady, Tricia I guess is her name, started laughing too. I really don't get Andy's sense of humor most of the time.
"Um, I'm here to see Mr. Whedon. I'll be interning for him and I saw this gentleman..."
"Yeah, Mr. Whedon is this way. He was wondering where you were."
"Oh, okay." They both started to walk away but I could still hear her talking about how I looked "just like Mr. Whedon" and Andy saying how it wouldn't be a great idea to repeat that in front of El Jefe.
I don't know who this El Jefe guy is but she shouldn't say anything in front of Uncle Joss.
As I was saying, I wish more women would take notice of me.
Just then Mister Boreanaz, Jimmy and J came walking around the corner. They were all talking about how skinny Jimmy was starting to get. It's true. We're all kinda worried about him.
J said "later" to them and started to walk away when he turned around and yelled "and for fuck's sake Jimmy, eat some dinner!"
Momma says you should always eat three meals a day. Sometimes I think I should take Jimmy home to momma - she could take care of him, make sure he ate right. Of course, he's so stubborn most of the time, I'd probably have to chain him to the bed. I once suggested that to momma and she looked at me and got this glazed look in her eyes. Then she cleared her throat and looked away.
She didn't come out of her bedroom for the rest of the night.
So here I was, watching Mister Boreanaz and Jimmy talking to each other and Mister Boreanaz gets this serious look on his face and he says to Jimmy, "you know, you are getting really thin" and then he says something about being able to feel his ribs. I guess he can feel them in all those fight scenes they do together.
Then Jimmy smiles and pulls on Mister Boreanaz' shirt and says "Well, at least I have you to make sure I get my daily dose of protein" and then Jimmy sticks his tongue between his teeth like he usually does when talking to Mister Boreanaz.
Mister Boreanaz smirks at Jimmy and says it's time for his daily dose now. Then Jimmy starts to get on his knees (I guess he must have dropped his keys) when...
I turn around and there's Joe with a stack of papers.
"Glad I caught you Phil. Here's the new acquisition papers. I need to get this down to 'Props' stat!"
"Okay." When someone says 'stat' then that means I have to hustle my butt down there right away.
When I come back, Mister Boreanaz and Jimmy are gone.
Well I'm glad Mister Boreanaz is making sure Jimmy gets his protein everyday. Lord knows he needs it.
And yeah, so I'm one of the 'gushing' fans, so...yeah...
Feedback is welcome no matter what you have to say.