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13 September 2007 @ 06:30 pm
Brian/Justin Standalone "Justin's Very, Very, Very Excellent Day"  
So remember how I said Karma kicked me in the ass the other day by giving me cramps after I wrote Justin getting cramps in Justin's Baby?

I decided to try a little experiment...

I think you know what's coming. critic75 said I should write Justin winning the Lotto and wait for the money to roll in. I decided to go a few steps further...

So here's a little cracky standalone I call...

Justin's Very, Very, Very Excellent Day
Pairing: Brian/Justin; Justin/The Fellowship; Justin/Spike's coat
Rating: R I guess.
Warning: for silliness

Disclaimer: I do not own the boys, the fellowship, Spike's coat, etc, etc...

"Oh God Brian. I think that was the best sex we've ever had!" Justin exclaimed after he came for the second time.

"I have to admit you're right," Brian said, trying to get up off the bed. "I'm glad we filmed it so you could enjoy watching it over and over and over again."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Justin said as he got up off the bed.

"Um, Sunshine, you might wanna put a robe on before you get that.""

This, coming from the man who opened the door for the Police Chief and their employer wearing nothing but a dishtowel." Justin put his sweats on and raced to the door, sliding it open all the way.

"I have a delivery for one Justin Taylor."

"That's me!"

"Sign here sir," the man droned as he handed Justin the tablet.

"What is it?" Justin said excitedly.

"I only deliver the packages sir. I don't look inside them." The man handed a package to Justin and left.

Justin opened the box and pulled out a long black coat.

"What is it?" Brian asked, wrinkling his nose, as he walked into the living area.

"Oh my God Brian!!!! Do you know what this is?" Justin shrieked as he held up the long coat.

"A ratty leather coat that's a few years out of date?" Brian smirked.

"It's Spike's coat! I mean...it's James Marster's coat! The one he wore when he was filming Buffy!" Justin inhaled the scent of the lining and sighed. "And it smells like him too." Justin quickly put the coat on. "It fits Brian! It fits."

"How do you know that's his coat?"

"Because it says right here. 'This was the coat worn by James Marsters during the sixth season of Buffy. Enjoy.'"

"And how do you know that's his smell? This seems like a hoax to me."

"I don't know Brian. I had a feeling this would be my day and I think this coat was his."

"Justin," Brian sighed as he turned the television set on.

"And now for the winning lotto numbers," the television set blared out, "after this announcement."

"Oh, turn this up Brian. I bought a ticket yesterday," Justin squealed.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" Brian sighed again. "That's such a waste of money."

"It was a whopping one dollar Brian! One dollar could win you two-hundred-eight million!"

"One dollar a starving college student can't really afford," Brian smiled.

"I'm hardly starving Brian," Justin retorted in his 'duh' voice.

"That's for sure," Brian said as he pinched the side of Justin's waist and then turned it into a tickling match.

"Stop! Stop! The numbers are on," Justin said and watched as the six numbers were displayed on the television set.

"Oh my God! Brian! Brian! I won!!! I won!!!!" Justin shrieked as he started jumping up and down in the living area.

"No shit," Brian said with a furrowed brow.

Before Justin could react again, there was a knock at the door. When Brian answered, he saw a basket lying on the ground with a note saying FOR JUSTIN.

"This better not be a fucking baby," Brian muttered.

Brian opened the basket and saw a large chocolate molten dessert with a huge scoop of cold ice cream. The second note said EAT ME.

"Hey Alice. Someone wants you to eat this cake!"

"Oh my God! That's my most favorite dessert in the world!!!" Justin grabbed a spoon off the counter and went to start eating the huge concoction.

"Hold on a minute there. You don't know where this came from."

"I don't care." Justin then dug his spoon into the tempting treat and gobbled the thing down right in front of Brian.

"Do you know how many calories you just consumed with that thing?"

Justin rubbed his belly. He walked into the bathroom and got on the scale.

Justin took one look at the scale and screamed.

Brian came running into the bathroom. "I told you. You had to get on the scale, didn't you?"

"Brian! It's not what you think! I know what I weighed this morning. I just got on the scale after eating that thing and I lost weight. And look! It cleared up my skin!!!!"

"Well fuck that. Was there another piece of cake in there?"

Just then, another knock sounded at the door.

"Hold on, I'm answering the door," Brian said as he pushed past Justin.

Brian reached for the handle and pulled the door open.

Standing on the threshold was the Fellowship.

Brian raised one eyebrow. "Can I help you?"

"We have followed our quest and come seeking the Sunshine," Aragorn said regally.

"Right this way," Brian said. "Oh Sunshine!" Brian called out in a sing-song voice. "There are some people here to see you." Brian looked back at the people standing in his loft. "You're gonna love this."

Justin walked in and stopped as he took in the scene in front of him.

"Um...hi," Justin waved nervously.

Aragorn ran over to Justin. "I seek to plant my sword in your sheath."

Brian leaned in to whisper in Justin's ear. "That means he wants to fuck you."

Boromir ran up at this moment. "And I will lend my sword alongside my fellow warrior."

"Oooh," Brian said as he licked his lips. "Some DP action..."

"And I wish you to stroke my bow," Legolas said. "And after our coupling is past, Aragorn, Boromir and myself shall couple with each other for hours for your amusement."

"And what will the rest of the Fellowship be doing while we're in a foursome?" Justin asked in a daze.

"Waiting their turn, of course," Aragorn said as he shook his head.

"Please, tell me, Gandalf and the dwraf aren't here. Or oh God! Frodo," Justin exclaimed worriedly.

"Nay," Boromir said, "they could not come, but Eomer, Haldir and Faramir have decided to come in their place. Does that meet with your approval?"

Justin looked over to where the three men stood and waved.

"Oh fuck yeah! So what are we waiting for?" Justin said and made for the bedroom.

Just then, another knock came at the door.

"Brian? Could you get that?" Justin said. "I'm gonna be a little busy."

"Yeah, sure, it'll probably be the cast from Deliverance for me," Brian muttered as he opened the door to a man standing in a cheap suit.

"Mr. Justin Taylor? Are you Mr. Justin Taylor?"

Brian looked back at the bedroom where he could hear moans of pleasure. "No, but I wish I was right now. What can I do for you?"

Brian tried to cough to cover up the loud noises coming from the bedroom.

"I'm with the IRS."

Brian furrowed his brows. "Is Justin in trouble?"

"No," the man laughed.

Something he obviously didn't do very often. "We've decided that Mr. Taylor shouldn't have to pay taxes."

"Come again?" Brian said. Brian looked back when he heard someone scream. "It looks like someone has too."

"Mr. Taylor does not have to pay taxes...at all...ever again."

"That's what I thought you said. Well, I'll pass that message onto him," Brian said nodding.

Brian coughed again to cover up an 'Oh my God' that came from the bedroom.

"Thank you." Brian watched as the man left. As he turned to walk into the bedroom, he caught a wink Eomer threw his way.

Brian walked into the bedroom to be met with a very erotic scene. Justin was splayed out on their bed, a look of bliss evident on his face, while Aragorn and Boromir were conducting their own quest in Legolas' ass.

"Oh God Brian," Justin moaned.

He then moaned again when he realized he had woken up. Justin shot up from bed and wiped the sleep from his eyes. "Brian! Brian!"

Brian woke with a start. "What? What is it?" Brian ran his hand through his hair. "Another nightmare?"

"No Brian. It was like the best dream in the whole world. Oh God! I won the Lotto...and Spike's coat...and my favorite dessert and I wasn't gaining weight...and the IRS guy and oh God!!! The Fellowship. The Fellowship was here," Justin said excitedly as he bounced on the bed.

"What were they doing here?" Brian asked. "Wait," Brian said and scratched his head, "what Fellowship?"

"You know, from the Lord of the Rings movie."

"Oh...silly me. What were they doing here?"

"They were having sex with me," Justin said dreamily.

"Oh," Brian said. "Oh! Ewww...you didn't have it with that Frodo freak, did you?"

"Brian," Justin sighed, "I said it was a dream, not a nightmare!!!"


Okay, I love fb. I will get back to it. I must run off to my son's curriculum night now. God how I hate those!!!
Current Mood: gigglygiggly
Zinneh is Jesus: Justin = Dorkzinnydark on September 14th, 2007 01:40 am (UTC)
The IRS kind of made me lose my shit just a little bit...


~can't stop~
Maria: Danny Equus Unstable Boyslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 03:30 am (UTC)
I know. I can't believe I put him in there.

But hey! It's one of those things I want. LOL!!!!

Glad I could make you giggle!!!! Thank you!
kitsune_mekitsune_me on September 14th, 2007 01:44 am (UTC)
you put a smile on my face. hahaha. I love your crack.

I hope karma is good to you after this little piece. :x

Maria: Orlando Bloom PoTC AWEslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 03:29 am (UTC)
You love...um...my crack?

So you've seen my ass?

Kinda scary...

LOL! I hope karma is good to me too. I would just prefer to have Legolas show up at my door really. I'll settle for that. *nods head*

Thanks hon!!!!
(no subject) - kitsune_me on September 14th, 2007 04:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - slave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 04:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kitsune_me on September 14th, 2007 04:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
zortrana: Aragornzortrana on September 14th, 2007 01:52 am (UTC)
Brian & Justin & the hunky part of the Fellowship! You've been reading my mind again, haven't you?
I know what I would like to dream about tonight! Thanks.

P.S. My palm has been itching. That means money is coming, right?
Maria: Justin smilingslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 03:27 am (UTC)
*points to icon*

There's Aragorn and his 'sword.' *snickers*

Do I really need to read people's minds to know this one? I mean, seriously. :P

Yes, yes it means money is coming...

If I write it, it will come...

anarane on September 14th, 2007 01:53 am (UTC)
That was so great!
Maria: Buffy Angel was this big...slave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 03:26 am (UTC)
LOL! Thank you!! :)
rosy5000: Brian Smilerosy5000 on September 14th, 2007 01:59 am (UTC)

This was just too good.... lol

I wish I could just have a dream like this. If it would come true, it'd probably kill me. lol
Maria: Frodo doesn't live here anymoreslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 03:26 am (UTC)
Hey you!!! I'm gonna get back to all your wonderful fb from today but I've been so so so busy today and then I wrote this.

So you capped off your day with yet another ficlet of mine. LOL!

If this dream came true for me, I would be dead. I mean, come on! The whole Fellowship?!?!?

But it'd be fun. :)

Thanks! Glad I made you laugh so hard. :D:D
mdlawmdlaw on September 14th, 2007 02:04 am (UTC)
I laughed out loud. Fabulous! m :D
Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 03:24 am (UTC)
Why thank you!!!! :D
Patty: cracks uppfodge on September 14th, 2007 02:10 am (UTC)
LOL!!! OK *wiping tears from my eyes*

this was just too funny. I loved it thank you.
Maria: Orlando Bloom PoTC heroic Willslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 03:23 am (UTC)
*wipes your eyes some more where you missed a spot*

You know what you write is funny when even I had a hard time keeping a straight face when writing the Aragorn and his sword part. LOL!

Thanks!!! :)
FanSeefansee on September 14th, 2007 02:51 am (UTC)
Justin's Very, Very, Very Excellent Dream
Why the hell can't I have that kind of dream? Do you think if I print your story out and stick it under my pillow tonight, I'll dream about Brian? (Forget the IRS and the $$ - I'll be happy with Brian and unlimited chocolate that actually makes me lose weight.)

In case you aren't sure, I loved it. FanSee
Maria: BJ Guh Showerslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 03:22 am (UTC)
Re: Justin's Very, Very, Very Excellent Dream
Yes. I think if you print it out, you will dream of Brian feeding you chocolate and then fucking your brains out.

Or you could dream of the cast of Deliverance...

Thank you!!! :)
my2cats: cracks upmy2cats on September 14th, 2007 02:53 am (UTC)
Oh...How I love your *Demented Mind*,LOL

That was fun!
Maria: Bad Mommyslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 03:20 am (UTC)
It is pretty warped, innit?

Thank you! :)
Lisa: Brian animated smilebrianswalk on September 14th, 2007 03:14 am (UTC)
"Yeah, sure, it'll probably be the cast from Deliverance for me," Brian muttered


Maria: BJ copulatingslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 03:19 am (UTC)
With Brian's luck (and mine) that's who it'll be. LOL!

Thanks!!! Glad I gave you a good laugh. :)
Chaos..panic..disorder...my work here is done.: Justin-OMG squeejillapet on September 14th, 2007 04:36 am (UTC)

You just hit all of my fandoms...
Maria: Orlando Bloom PoTC heroic Willslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 04:27 pm (UTC)
Okay, is there a Jutin/Fellowship and Justin/Spike's coat fandom? LOL!

And I thought I was being original. :P

Seriously, I love these guys and this was just fun (and I am working on a Spike/Angel/Brian/Justin/Ash story). Btw, that's Ash as in from the Evil Dead Trilogy, not the Ash of Pokemon fame.


Thanks Pet!!!!
critic75critic75 on September 14th, 2007 04:57 am (UTC)
OMG girl, you took that idea and ran with it. All the way down the field, and scored a fucking touchdown!!!
I loved all the players in the line-up....the studly cast of LOTR, the happy IRS man, the snarky delivery guy, plus all the dreams come true with Spike's leather coat, the lottery, chocolate cake with magic weight loss calories, and fantastic sex. What more could anyone want.

But now, the evil genii puts the twist to your Karma, and grants all YOUR wishes and desires, but only in a dream.
Maria: Justin gets caughtslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 04:20 pm (UTC)
Woo Hoo! *does touchdown dance*

*which looks a lot like Justin Snoopy dance*

And yes, I know, Karma is a bitch and will make sure I get everything here...

...in a very nice dream. LOL!!!

Actually, I dreamed of Viggo fucking Orlando last night. Does that count?

Thank you JJ!!!
(Deleted comment)
Maria: Golem and Spongebobslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 04:16 pm (UTC)
Well I'm glad this helped. I'm going to need help with my day TODAY! LOL!

(Payday for my employees and I HATE doing timecards.)

Thank you!!!
midnight: brian/justin cracks up animatedinkingwords on September 14th, 2007 06:46 am (UTC)
I think you just wrote one of my new fave fics!! I laughed the whole way through it!!! ::grins:: You wrote everything perfect. Mind if I rec it in my lj?
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 04:15 pm (UTC)
No of course not! Rec away! LOL!!! It's sorta multi-fandom fic. :)

Perfect, huh? I'm really hard on myself - I always think - 'oh sit, that sounded wrong.'

Thank you darlin!!!!
Doriantdorian on September 14th, 2007 11:38 am (UTC)
You're incredible !! Really i wonder how this crazy ideas come to ur mind.LOL Aida
Maria: Frodo doesn't live here anymoreslave_o_spike on September 14th, 2007 04:14 pm (UTC)
They just do and it sometimes scares me. *wibbles*

LOL! Thank you!!! :)