Maria (slave_o_spike) wrote,

QAF ficlet - B/J Queer as Folk will now be airing on the Sci Fi channel

I'm sorry but the whole Mel-being-pregnant-forever thing just bugged me.

Title: Queer as Folk will now be airing on the Sci-Fi Channel
Pairing: B/J
Spoilers: Up to the end of Season 4
Summary: Exactly what kind of baby did Mel have?
Warnings: Heavy on the snark but nothing terrible.
Disclaimers: I do not own Cowlip or the boys, blah blah blah. While we're at it, I was not the third gunman on the grassy knoll, nor am I the one-armed man. Just so we're clear. (Does anybody really read this part?)

"No, Brian," Justin pouted, "I don't wanna go!"

"Stop being a little twat," Brian replied. "We're going and that's it. I have to go and if I have to go, you have to go."

"But Briiiaaan, I don't want to see Mel and Mikey's new baby."

"Okay, just tell me what's up. I know you like Gus so it's not babies that you dislike."

"It's just that it's creepy."

"Look I told you. She's already had the baby. You won't be subjected to any accidental snatch-viewings."

"It's not that and oh, ewww," Justin said while making a face. "I meant, she was pregnant with that baby for two years Brian. What kind of baby did she exactly stop it Brian, stop laughing. It's true. This is very serious."

"She was not pregnant for two years," Brian said while trying to contain his laughter."

"Yes, she was. I was 19 when she conceived and I'm 21 now," Justin said while crossing his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, but...okay you got me," sighed Brian. He then furrowed his brow. "How the fuck did that happen?"

"See?! I mean, what kind of demon-spawn, alien-hybrid, Genetic-mutant did she have?" Justin exclaimed.

"Come on now, it's Mel and Mikey's...," Brian started to say.

"And your point being?" Justin interrupted.

"Okay, you got me on that one," Brian said then shook his head. "I'm sure it'll be fine. But just in case, we'll stop by the church and have our crossbows and arrows tipped in holy water," Brian said while smirking.

"Brian, it's not a vampire and I believe some-one's been watching Buffy," Justin sing-songed.

"I'll just say one word - Spike."

"Yeah, and to think they have him playing a straight vampire," Justin said.

"Yeah, go figure. Now come on," Brian said while slipping on his jacket and getting his car keys.

"No Brian! I'm scared. What if it starts sucking our brains out to acquire a new host body?" Justin asked while pouting.

"No more Sci Fi channel watching for you sonny boy," Brian said while putting Justin's jacket on for him. "Alright, I'll tell you what, if it starts to suck our brains to gain a new host body, and I do believe if it were truly part of a higher intelligence, it would choose MY body, I'll push Ted in the way and while it's sucking his life-force, we'll make a run for it and go live underground in Mexico fucking our way through the country in return for sanctuary." Brian then looked at Justin and lifted his eyebrows.

"You'd do that for me Brian?" Justin asked quietly.

"Like it would be a stretch for me to off Ted like that. Don't make a bigger deal out of it than it is, Sunshine."

"You love me," Justin started cooing. "You give a shit. You soooo love me. Brian Kinney loves me....," Justin sing-songed while exiting the loft.

"Oh God, not again," Brian muttered. "Come on. Let's go greet the mutant, demon spawn-thing. Mind you, life-force-sucking I can handle - if it starts spewing goo on my new Prada shirt though, this baby's history."

Feedback is welcome as always.
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