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18 February 2008 @ 04:02 pm
Hey all!

No, no story to post right now. Just an update on life in general.

Remember how my cook was arrested back in December for 5 outstanding warrants? Well, I had to replace him and I did but his replacement isn't working out so well.

So guess what? Ole Jim (my jail bird cook) shows up the day after my new cook puts in his two week's notice stating he just can't take the pressure.

So Jim walks into the kitchen:

Jim: Hi Maria. (This is said with his head hanging down low).
Me: You're out! All 5 warrants taken care of?
Jim: Yeah. So...um...
Me: You want your job back, right?
Jim: Yeah (again with the head hanging low).
Me: I'll give you your job back if you let me put a dog collar on you, strip you down to a thong and post your pics on my lj.
Jim: Maria! That's gross! No!
Maria: Okay, so it's good to see you still have your standards. Prison hasn't completely corrupted you.
Jim: I was in jail Maria. Not prison.
Maria: So, were you someone's bitch while you were there?
Jim: Maria!
Maria: Or did you have your own prag?
Jim: Where the fuck did you learn that word? Know what, I don't wanna know.
Maria: So did you have to like...trade in cigarettes to get lube so it didn't hurt...
Jim: Maria! Shut up! I didn't do anything like that. You're gross!
Maria: Pfft! I'm not the one who traded my cigarettes for lube.

He's really desperate cuz even after all that shit, he still wants his job back. Go figure.

I'll probably give it to him.

And Alex, I think, has found the one. You know, the one! LOL!

He is a cutie. She thinks he looks like Ben Affleck. I say James Mcavoy.

Like I told firehead30, he may be the one, but he can wait to be the one or about another 6 years (or like Fire said, he better be the patient one. LOL! I love Fire so much!!!)

Alex: I can't believe he's in love with me. He's so perfect!
Me: You know what they say about being too perfect to be true...
Alex: He's got like 50 girls after him.
Me: 50? Really?
Alex: It's an exaggeration mom. He gets text messaged from some of these girls everyday wanting to go out.
Me: Maybe they're the girls he keeps locked up in his basement pleading with him to let them out.
Alex: *heavy sighs* Mom...just once say something normal.
Me: I'm not the one with the psycho boyfriend.

See? No one can argue with my logic.

Anywho, I just wanted my QaF people to know that my BJ muse, since I've been doing so much Orlibean writing, is starting to come back out of the closet.

BUT! I'm still heavily into writing the Orlibean right now, so to all the people on my flist who are into that (you know, the both of you), never fear! :)

So there you go...

And on an end note, here is a youtube video from back in Troy days, the movie Troy, not the actual historical event cuz I shouldn't have to explain why, from a Graham Norton interview with Orlando Bloom.

Pay attention to the Orli giggle. I just love this man!

Current Mood: bouncybouncy
kitsune_me: good inouekitsune_me on February 19th, 2008 01:15 am (UTC)
I stopped and double-taked at the part where you mentioned stripping and thongs. and had to scrub my brains out ..... ^^o, but hey, you have your cook back!

Your banter with Alex is lovely. :D, my Dad and I have the same relationship and my friends just look on weirdly when they hear me recounting what we say to each other...

I've never been interested in Orlando before....but you are slowly burrowing your way in with the Orlibean-ness and posts...>.>....though I am glad to hear about the QAF muse making a comeback...:x
Maria: Bad Mommyslave_o_spike on February 19th, 2008 01:23 am (UTC)
I agree. The thought of Jim that way is too gross but it flipped Jim out and that's what counts.

There are people who say Alex has a sharp wit for someone her age and she laughs and says, 'I have to with my mom.' :)

She makes me so proud.

And yay! I'm converting you!!! Woot woot!!!!
kitsune_me: qaf: justin diner smilekitsune_me on February 19th, 2008 01:50 am (UTC)
XD, Well, I'd say your comments to Jim were effective. :D

Aaaah, you might be converting me, but I'm still just sticking to your version of Orlibean...:D