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18 February 2008 @ 04:02 pm
 
Hey all!

No, no story to post right now. Just an update on life in general.

Remember how my cook was arrested back in December for 5 outstanding warrants? Well, I had to replace him and I did but his replacement isn't working out so well.

So guess what? Ole Jim (my jail bird cook) shows up the day after my new cook puts in his two week's notice stating he just can't take the pressure.

So Jim walks into the kitchen:

Jim: Hi Maria. (This is said with his head hanging down low).
Me: You're out! All 5 warrants taken care of?
Jim: Yeah. So...um...
Me: You want your job back, right?
Jim: Yeah (again with the head hanging low).
Me: I'll give you your job back if you let me put a dog collar on you, strip you down to a thong and post your pics on my lj.
Jim: Maria! That's gross! No!
Maria: Okay, so it's good to see you still have your standards. Prison hasn't completely corrupted you.
Jim: I was in jail Maria. Not prison.
Maria: So, were you someone's bitch while you were there?
Jim: Maria!
Maria: Or did you have your own prag?
Jim: Where the fuck did you learn that word? Know what, I don't wanna know.
Maria: So did you have to like...trade in cigarettes to get lube so it didn't hurt...
Jim: Maria! Shut up! I didn't do anything like that. You're gross!
Maria: Pfft! I'm not the one who traded my cigarettes for lube.

He's really desperate cuz even after all that shit, he still wants his job back. Go figure.

I'll probably give it to him.

And Alex, I think, has found the one. You know, the one! LOL!

He is a cutie. She thinks he looks like Ben Affleck. I say James Mcavoy.

Like I told firehead30, he may be the one, but he can wait to be the one or about another 6 years (or like Fire said, he better be the patient one. LOL! I love Fire so much!!!)

Alex: I can't believe he's in love with me. He's so perfect!
Me: You know what they say about being too perfect to be true...
Alex: He's got like 50 girls after him.
Me: 50? Really?
Alex: It's an exaggeration mom. He gets text messaged from some of these girls everyday wanting to go out.
Me: Maybe they're the girls he keeps locked up in his basement pleading with him to let them out.
Alex: *heavy sighs* Mom...just once say something normal.
Me: I'm not the one with the psycho boyfriend.

See? No one can argue with my logic.

Anywho, I just wanted my QaF people to know that my BJ muse, since I've been doing so much Orlibean writing, is starting to come back out of the closet.

BUT! I'm still heavily into writing the Orlibean right now, so to all the people on my flist who are into that (you know, the both of you), never fear! :)

So there you go...

And on an end note, here is a youtube video from back in Troy days, the movie Troy, not the actual historical event cuz I shouldn't have to explain why, from a Graham Norton interview with Orlando Bloom.

Pay attention to the Orli giggle. I just love this man!

 
 
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
 
 
 
Maria: Listening to Satanic musicslave_o_spike on February 19th, 2008 01:40 am (UTC)
There you go.

Vodka flavored assholes? Is he like, into watersports?

*winces*