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03 March 2008 @ 09:07 pm
A Night in Babylon standalone starring parts of the gang and Ash  
First off, Collin just left for home (that's Alex's boyfriend):

Collin: Thank you for having me.
Me: You make it sound like we ate you for dinner.

Beware of the Queer as Folk/Evil Dead crossover here

Okay, so I should so not write when I'm drunk, which I am right now.

Okay, not drunk, but buzzed. I have some bureaucratic issue to deal with at the shop, which means I might have to hire a lawyer...again.

I drank a few beers and am now in a nice little state of buzziness...or whatever...you know...you've been there.

I wrote this:

Title: A night in/at Babylon
Pairing: one of them is Emmett and Ash (from the Evil Dead movies) and Justin and Brian are there too.
Summary: Fucked if I know.
Warnings: Ash does have this chainsaw hand you know.

Disclaimer: I was drunk while writing this and can't be held liable for any of it. Talk to my lawyer, which I'll have pretty soon.

"Hey baby!"

Emmett looked back quickly at the man who had shamelessly groped his ass.


His shapely, luscious, perfectly formed, just right for grabbing, perky ass...

"Emmett!" Teddy shouted. "Would you stop thinking about all the adjectives someone could use to describe your ass! That strange man just groped you and called you baby!"

"That's odd," Emmett pouted. "I didn't think we were in a bad fic. What did you just call me?" Emmett asked as he turned to address the man. "Ash!" Emmett squealed.

"Give us some sugar!" Ash growled as he grabbed Emmett, bent him over and ravished his mouth.

"Oh it's okay Teddy, Ash can call me baby. He's just being canon," Emmett said with a wave of his hand, while righting himself once Ash let him up for air.

"Okay, I'm just gonna head over to the bar and be morose since that's the way I'm always written," Ted said as he made his way over to the bar. He just hoped someone would write him with someone desirable one day.

"I said, I hope someone will write me with someone desirable one day," Ted yelled to no one in particular.

Just then Justin popped up. "Ted, wanna take me to the backroom and fuck my brains out while Brian washes your car?"

"Thank you," Ted mouthed to no in particular once again.

"So Ash, you in town long?" Emmett said as he leaned up against the broad and manly chest, playing with the chainsaw hand as he did so.

"Long enough to have you blow me, maybe try out one of my new attachments...but then I gotta go. Time dimensions to see, demons to dismember..."

"Well, then by all means, let's get to it," Emmett said as he grabbed Ash's hand and ran with him to the backroom.

"Right here," Emmet said and proceeded to go down on Ash. "Um Ash...sweetie? What's with all the gore on your jeans?"

"I was fighting a witch on the way here."

"Oh, did you go past the lesbian bars on Liberty Ave?"

"Less talking...more sucking," Ash grunted as he shoved Emmett's head onto his cock. Emmett worked his magic on the engorged penis. Ash came with a thunderous shout and unloaded into Emmett's mouth. He grabbed the man off the floor and brought him to his lips. "That was great baby."

Just then, they looked over to where another man was blowing Todd, Babylon's infamous bottom boy, against the wall.

"Hey Todd!" Emmett waved.

"Hey, how's it going? Ow!" Todd yelled as the person sucking on his dick wrenched free and turned around to face Ash.

"Oh God!" Emmett and Todd yelled as the cute twink that had been giving Todd the best blow job in his entire life turned into a demon.

"I'll swallow your soul!" it chanted as it looked at Ash.

"You might want to swallow that cum first hag!" Ash snarked as he brought his chainsaw-hand to life.

Todd and Emmett watched in horror as Ash slashed, as in actually hacked off, the limbs from the demon witch...thingie.

"Oh my," Emmet swooned as he put his hand to his chest.

"Aw," Todd sighed, "he gave great head."

"I hope everyone here is practicing safe sex," Debbie said as she walked into the backroom wearing a tee-shirt that said HAL SPARKS IS A MONKEY.

"Debbie! What are you doing here?!" Emmett shrieked.

"I dunno," she said as she looked around. "I think I'm some fucked up plot device."

"Witch!" Ash yelled and started up his chainsaw again.

"No!" Emmett said as he placed a restraining hand on Ash's forearm, "that's Debbie."

"You sure?" Ash asked dubiously.

"Yes," Emmett sighed.

"I'm...gonna...leave," Debbie said and made her way out quickly.

"Well, I gotta go," Ash said as he hefted his chainsaw hand over his shoulder.

"Again? You just got here," Emmett pouted.

"Awww, don't make a scene baby. I'll be back someday," Ash said and strode off into the night.

As Emmett watched his erstwhile lover leave, he saw Brian walk by holding a bucket and a sponge. "Brian? What are you doing?"

"Where's that asshole Ted! I refuse to wash his car anymore!" Brian yelled.

"Oh Ted, you're much bigger than Brian," Justin moaned from the far wall.

"Alright! That's it! This writer is toast!" Brian yelled.

The End

I'll respond to whatever fb you dish out.

Current Mood: drunkdrunk
liriel1810 on March 4th, 2008 06:05 am (UTC)
I have absolutely NO idea who any of these people are, but this sounds likes something you'd think up when you are seriously tripping, hon.

When I'm buzzed, I write Jack Sparrow, I can see that when you are buzzed, you write even more insane insanity... if that makes any sense, which it might, given your level of inebriation.

You still rock! *hugs*
Maria: BJ Sex Take 2slave_o_spike on March 4th, 2008 06:14 am (UTC)
LOL! I have yet to write that Will/Baby!Krakken thing. I know what you mean though.

I write the guys in strange situations when I'm pissed off or drunk or whatever.

*points to icon*

That's Brian and Justin. :)
liriel1810 on March 4th, 2008 06:37 am (UTC)
Well, Brian's got a nice butt anyhow! *g*

Naked nudity... why can't I get that show here?
Maria: BJ Guh Showerslave_o_spike on March 4th, 2008 06:15 am (UTC)

Looks at icon.

You can see Justin.

Here's Brian too. :)
liriel1810 on March 4th, 2008 06:37 am (UTC)
They look like they're having fun!
Maria: BJ copulatingslave_o_spike on March 4th, 2008 06:43 am (UTC)
I loved that scene! And the music that went with it.
liriel1810 on March 4th, 2008 06:46 am (UTC)
*pouts* Howcome we only get the crap shows here?
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on March 4th, 2008 06:49 am (UTC)
You live in Australia, right?

I have 3 friends on my flist (maybe even more) from there who watched it (probably on DVD).

Can you rent it? There are 5 seasons.

Believe me, it's worth it! :)
liriel1810 on March 4th, 2008 06:52 am (UTC)
Yeah, I live in Aus. I probably missed it... story of my life, 5 minutes late and a pound short. *sigh*

I'll have to check out and see if I can get it on dvd... if nothing else, I should be able to order it from Amazon, right?
Maria: cuminslave_o_spike on March 4th, 2008 06:56 am (UTC)
Yes! And you're lucky because they have most of the seasons in the cheap version now (not cheap as in quality, but as in price).

When I first bought them, I paid full price.

*points to icon*

Rimming scene from the first episode.

liriel1810 on March 4th, 2008 06:59 am (UTC)
*fans self* Okay, I have such a kink for rimming. I need to get these! (and watch them when no one else is home. LOL)

Inexpensive is VERY good. I shall look into what Amazon is charging, because you can bet your arse that any dvd shop here wouldn't be selling them cheap!
Maria: Justin gets caughtslave_o_spike on March 4th, 2008 07:01 am (UTC)
LOL! I tried to watch when no one else was looking and found the whole family watching it! LMAO!

Anywho, I will leave you with one last icon.

liriel1810 on March 4th, 2008 07:05 am (UTC)
LOL I don't think I'll have any trouble watching on my own here, somehow. My kids are at the age when kissing anyone but their mother on the cheek is really gross. *g*

I've bookmarked the Amazon page... can get the whole series for $146... once we recover from paying for all the lightning damage we had!

Have a good sleep! *hugs* Hope you don't wake up hungover!
critic75: NO WORDScritic75 on March 4th, 2008 06:21 am (UTC)
I had to wait to comment until I uploaded the icon for this.

It had everything. Sex, chainsaws, dismemberment, and distraction. (Debbie), but I couldn't think of what to say.

P.S. Look out Maria, Brian is looking for you, armed with a bucket.
Maria: Brian scaredslave_o_spike on March 4th, 2008 06:24 am (UTC)
On noz! I forgot about the bucket! Does that mean I'll be going into the pen with Ethan? That I'll be subjected to the same lecture about giving back to the community?

Ahhh! But I have the chainsaw...
critic75: CLASSIC FACE&FLOWERcritic75 on March 4th, 2008 06:43 am (UTC)
No lectures, and you wouldn't make good sausage, Maria. Too spicy.
So just chainsaw your way out of there, and hurry home to your laptop, and leave Brian to his bucket and his Justin.
Maria: BJ copulatingslave_o_spike on March 4th, 2008 06:50 am (UTC)
Thank God! I'm too spicy that is! LOL!

*chainsaws way out*

*writes spitted Justin dream sequence*
singlewoman: Emmet laugh by badbadpixiesinglewoman on March 4th, 2008 01:46 pm (UTC)
"I hope everyone here is practicing safe sex," Debbie said as she walked into the backroom wearing a tee-shirt that said HAL SPARKS IS A MONKEY.


I have learned never to have anything in my mouth when I read one of your fics because bursts of uncontrolled laughter just take over. And this was no exception.

And Justin blowing Ted? No words just ROTFLMAO!!
Mariaslave_o_spike on March 5th, 2008 08:58 pm (UTC)
LOL! You want that tee-shirt? LOL!

And yeah...I think I blew everyone away with the Justin/Ted lurve...

Thanks hon!
shadownyc: paddies  - Brian 313-laugh-animatedshadownyc on March 4th, 2008 03:26 pm (UTC)
Wow! You have the most creative imagination when you're "buzzed".

That was so bizarre and funny!!!!
Maria: Brian scaredslave_o_spike on March 5th, 2008 09:00 pm (UTC)
Well 'creative' is a nice way of putting it. LOL!

Thank you.

I seriously don't even remember writing this...;P
rosy5000: Lethal Weaponrosy5000 on March 4th, 2008 04:43 pm (UTC)
Love Deb's t-shirt! lol

But this: "Oh Ted, you're much bigger than Brian," Justin moaned from the far wall.

That is just way above and beyond TEH WRONG!!! EWWWW!!!!!

But Brian coming after you with a bucket and sponge... that could have posibilties. ;) *pets poor Brian*
Maria: cuminslave_o_spike on March 5th, 2008 09:02 pm (UTC)
Everyone, well, the lot of you who read this, loved that tee-shirt! LOL!

It was WRONG, wasn't it? LOL!!!!!

I'm worried about the whole Brian with a bucket thing. Remember, the one time I wrote Brian with a bucket, it was at the beginning of cannibal!fic and that means you're on the wrong side of the cage. *whimpers*

Thanks Rosy!
gaeln: icon gale_crooked smilegaeln on March 4th, 2008 08:49 pm (UTC)
mygod, the poetry, the pathos, the unattainable high contrasted with the unimagined lows. this story has everything, tragedy, comedy, star-struck lovers...good and evil. I give it four stars (out of a possible five) job well done
Maria: Justin smilingslave_o_spike on March 5th, 2008 09:04 pm (UTC)
Why thank you! :)

Wish I could remember writing it. LOL!

Yes, it has it all alright.

I think the best word you used to describe it though would have to be tragic. Tragic that no one stopped me...
sevigny7sevigny7 on March 5th, 2008 06:43 am (UTC)
Maria - you really *are* demented. And all this time I thought you were just faking it...

Needless to say, I loved every word of drunken-fiction-sex, so don't know how that affects my world, unless it's...Drunken Ted goes to the closest Irish bar and sings with the band for four hours and rolls home knowing he's protected from arrest and incarceration. Unfortunately,tby the Luck of the Irish curse/Mass transit-funded, non-religious-te

Hopelessly Devoted (and now I'm hearing Olivia Newton what's-her-name singing that song, and it will continue to play in my brain over and over until I'm demented too).
sevigny7sevigny7 on March 5th, 2008 07:12 am (UTC)
Uh oh. Somehow this post got mixed up with my political post about the work-related mass transit stuff. Not sure how that happened, but just dismiss from your mind the verbiage in the next-to-last paragraph; I think the cut and paste fairies were working overtime...
Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on March 5th, 2008 09:09 pm (UTC)
You thought I was faking it all this time?!?! Wow! I'm good at hiding it! LOL! ;P

Yeah, now you see? I totally was lost at the rest of your fb (glad you posted an addendum to it).

But hey! Does it really matter? I mean, you're talking to someone who'll probably forget everything 10 minutes later.

Just like writing this. I seriously can't remember. LOL! In fact, I better thank you now cuz I probably won't even remember before I finish this reply.



What were we talking about again?