Okay, so if you combine this verse with the gnome video:
You get this little snippet:
Title: Mel and Lindz go South of the Border
Summary: There is video proof of a gnome in a pointy hat in Argentina. Which also seems to coincide with Mel, Lindsay and Mikey Jr.'s trip to the South American country...
Disclaimer: I don't own Cowlip or the girls. I don't want to own Mikey Jr even though he's the product of my deranged imagination. I think the evidence on the video confirms the existence of the gnome. Or a cat in a hat...
"Mel! Mel! Have you seen that damn monkey around? I'm actually getting a little worried," Lindsay frowned.
"Oh, he's just playing around I bet," Mel scoffed, a smile plastered on her vacant face.
"Mel, honey," Lindsay intoned patronizingly, "we're in a foreign country, we don't know where our toddler is. There are people around here who could do terrible things to children."
"Someone offered me what equates to ten American dollars today if I would suck them off. Wasn't that generous of them?" Mel squealed.
"Yeah," Lindsay replied, clearing her throat. "You didn't actually take...take them up on their offer, did you...buttercup?"
"Of course not!" Mel laughed. "I told them I was happily married to a wonderful woman and had a beautiful son," she beamed, picking a piece of imaginary lint off her floral skirt.
"You didn't actually have Mikey Jr. with you when you said that, did you?" Lindsay winced.
"I did," Mel nodded. "He was wearing that new hat I knitted for him."
"The one with the point on it?" Lindsay asked.
"Yes, so his head will be warm, no matter where he is right now."
"We should really look for him. Monkey or not, he is our son and Deb would kill us if we came back without her grandson," Lindsay said matter-of-factly.
"Oh don't be silly!" Mel laughed. "Deb is always trying to kill me. She hates me," the woman pouted.
"Oh don't say that Mel. What's not to like about you?" Lindsay watched as Mel tilted her head to one side and looked vacantly ahead. "Let me rephrase that..."
"Brian too. Brian's always trying to kill me. Brian's Satan, you know," Mel nodded dumbly.
"Yes, sweetie, I know," Lindsay sighed. "I've told you this a thousand times before pumpkin pie...he's just trying to claim your immortal soul sooner rather than later. You shouldn't take it personally. Come on, let's go look for him."
"Brian? But Brian is back in Philly?" Mel replied, her brows deeply furrowed.
"Mikey! Mikey Jr!" Lindsay shouted. "Our son! Our son who looks like a monkey, who's out no doubt terrorizing the streets of a small village while wearing a pointy hat!"
"I made that hat for him you know," Mel smiled.
Lindsay realized she could put an end to all their misery right now. It was a foreign country. There would be no questions asked. Tourists disappear all the time from freak accidents.
Instead she found herself shaking off such grim thoughts and going out with a lobotomized woman to look for their son with questionable DNA.
One hour later, out in a wooded glen
Lindsay had been searching out in the wooded area, every so often calling out Mikey Jr's name but without much luck. She suddenly turned at the sound of screaming teenaged boys.
Yes, she heard correctly, they were screaming.
She watched as several of them had run out of the forest. Her Spanish wasn't very good so she couldn't make out what they were talking excitedly about.
She was just about to turn around and go back into town to see if Mel had made any headway when she spotted something in the bushes ahead.
For there in the middle of a clearing was Mikey. He was still wearing his hat, which Mel would be pleased to know had indeed probably kept his head warm on this chilly night. Lindsay almost laughed when she noticed her son performing the dance that Emmett had taught him.
What was it Emmett had called it?
Line dancing, that was it.
Lindsay walked up to Mikey and picked him up, brushing the dirt and grime from his adventure off his clothes. "Your mommy was so worried about you," she cooed to the child.
Of course, Lindsay wished that his mommy were coherent enough to be worried about anybody, including her baby. And with that, she made her way back into the village, hoping to put this all behind them.
As she entered their rented cottage, Mel came running up to Lindsay and grabbed Mikey. "Oh Lindz! I was so scared! I heard in town that some boys were in the woods tonight and had come upon a terrifying gnome! I'm so happy to see you're both back," Mel said as she clung to her tiny boy.
Lindsay was happy at the moment to see genuine warmth radiate from her partner's glowing face before what Mel had just said caught up with her.
"Is that what they were screaming about? But I was there. I didn't see anything..."
Back in Philly, at a certain apartment building
"Ma! Ma!" Michael screamed from the vicinity of the living room.
"What is it?" Debbie scolded, her hands on her hips, holding a bowl full of mix she was currently beating quickly.
"Look at this Ma!" Michael said as he pointed to his laptop screen. "They found evidence of a gnome in...in...what's that word?" he asked as he pointed to the monitor.
"Argentina, baby. Oh my. That's...that's...what is that?" Debbie said, horrified by the thing she saw on the screen.
"I don't know. You think it's real Ma? Does anything that weird even exist?" he said, an expression of disgust on his face.
"I don't know baby, I don't know. Hey aren't the girls and my sweetie down there now on vacation?"
Debbie looked at the screen one more time and shuddered. She just hoped her family was safe. The thing on the screen could be a hoax, but it didn't feel like it. She couldn't wait for her grandson to come home, so he could be safe in his bed, far away from the horrors as the one before her in the video.
So, do you want more gnome fic?