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13 December 2008 @ 07:30 pm
About my restaurant and the best employee who was never paid  
First off, I changed my layout again. It's a Joker theme.


I got bored of the Santa theme. And this is pretty wicked.

Anywho, so I mentioned in passing that we got a call from the Food Channel's Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. They were thinking featuring our restaurant in one of their segments.

Joe asked them how they heard about us and it was as I figured.

Our sign.


During the summer, the tourists swing by and love taking pictures of themselves by the sign. Then they come and and always say the same joke - "Truth in advertising, huh?" to which I reply, "OPEC has nothing on us."

They laugh, buy our food and are usually happy with us. Some people can't handle their grease intake. :P

If you would like to see a full picture of our place, click here.

This is my favorite picture of our place on flickr. If you want to see more, go to flickr and search for 'small fryes.' There's quite a few.

We sent off a compilation of the stuff they wanted (the Food Channel that is) and we'll see. I don't think they'll feature us personally.

Anywho, now for the second part of my post and the meaning of 'the best employee never paid.'

I wear this phone around my neck. It's a Samsung and I attached it to a lanyard, the kind you get from a snowboard shop, so I could keep it somewhere where I could never lose it.

Whenever I go shopping, people think I work wherever it is I happen to be shopping at.

I swear.

I'm not making this shit up.

And because I know my way around every store I shop in - usually for my business - people gravitate toward me! Where do I frequent? Well there's Cash & Carry (where I get my supplies for the restaurant that my vendors do not deliver), Costco, Target, and Safeway.

So, just in the past 2 days, I was shopping at Cash & Carry, pushing my huge cart around, and loading it with cases of lettuce and american cheese and the such, when this guy stops me and asks where the marinated artichoke hearts are.

Now, I could just say, 'I don't work here,' but I never do. So I said 'follow me coz you'll never find them' and I lead him to a tiny spot in a tiny corner and hand him a gallon jar of marinated artichoke hearts.

"Thanks! I would never have found them!"

"Yeah, well they change the location every friggin week. Just look for the peeled garlic and sun dried tomatoes and you'll find them."

"Why don't you tell your boss to not change them around," he chuckled.

"Because I don't work here and frankly I don't give a flying fuck where they put the damn things."

"You don't work here. But you know your way around so well."

Story of my life.

So then I continue shopping and two Russian women come up to me and ask me where the 'meeeelk' was. I told them 'dairy' straight down this aisle and through the double doors. When I was ready to get back to my shopping, two other women asked me about a bowl they were holding. 'Miss. This is the bowl I want but in a bigger size..."

"Go to the front counter, ask for Ed, a guy with a buzz cut and red cheeks. He'll order whatever you want."

I finally got my shopping done.

See what I mean?

Then I get to Costco. Hubby's with me that time. No sooner did I get through the front entrance when a lady stopped me and asked where she should go to return this. While hubby is standing there with a smirk on his face, I told her to go back out the entrance and go through the exit to customer service. I also told her to make sure she stood in the line on the right - not on the left - so she didn't end up in renewals.

So today I get to Safeway and there I am, shopping with my cart and two very beautiful men walk up to me. One of them had on a hoodie and was just a doll and the other was wearing a pea coat and a cashmere scarf.

So while I'm staring and drooling (okay, I'm not drooling, but I could only imagine what these two got up to), the one in the pea coat asks me why the Scampi sauce is not on the shelf with the other marinades.

I snap out of it long enough to say, "Coz Cashmere, that's a fish product. You have to go to the display in the seafood section, next to the double doors that lead to the back of the market."

He laughed at his new nickname, thanked me and walked to the back of the store, never to be seen again.


And it was only once they were gone that I realize had called him 'cashmere.' LOL!

Finally, finally, I get to Target and I'm in the toy aisle. I'm looking at the legos when this guy asks me where the rest of the Batman legos are. I look at the Batman legos, all four of them, and tell him that was all Lego made in the Batman line. Then he asks me where the rest of the Mars Mission lego sets are and then I sigh and tell him, "ah, well that is the bitch of it. No one sells all the Mars Mission sets. Target has a pretty crappy collection. You should just go to the Lego store in Bel Square."

So he laughs and says, 'you know you're telling me to go to another store."

And I laugh and say, "look, I'm not doing a Miracle on 34th Street. I'm not Macy's sending you to Gimbles. I don't work here and you should get your kid the lego set he wants."

So I figure at this point, I'm sick of this, and I take my phone from around my neck and pocket it.

Of course, that didn't work out so well as the lanyard was sticking out and caught on a display, knocking it over.

Yeah, real inconspicuous...

So see? I keep writing checks to these places, but they should be paying me! LOL!

Tags: ,
Current Mood: contentcontent
oh_amelia on December 14th, 2008 04:10 am (UTC)
It would be so completely awesome if they featured you on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives! I LOOVE that show!

And you're a hell of a lot nicer than I'd be if people kept coming up to me asking me where things were if I didn't work at that store. Maybe if I had something in my cart that they wanted also, I wouldn't mind them asking. But just random things...

And honestly, sometimes I'll tell customers to go other places for things too. I work at a bank and we charge $4 for a money order. I am like, "Dude, go to the convenience store across the street. You can get it for like 93¢." :|
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on December 14th, 2008 05:00 am (UTC)
It would be awesome. :)

The thing is, sometimes it annoys me but I don't have the heart to turn them away. It's so hard to find employees who actually know where things are.

Yeah, but I sure hope my employees don't say that! LOL! Then again, I am the cheaper alternative - except for McDonalds.
FanSee: Cupcakesfansee on December 14th, 2008 04:48 am (UTC)
Small Fryes
Omigod, that's not at all what I thought your place looked like. Not. At. All.

In my mind, Small Fryes was a wooden cottage on a boardwalk, with a bait shop to the left. I never pictured what was on the other side and now, of course, I never will. You entered through a screen door, letting it bang closed behind you, and there was a row of small tables along the wall, then a double row of booths. Behind the counter, topped in green laminate, was the kitchen. Next to the cash register was a rotating rack that sold postcards.

I have an active imagination.

Small Fryes looks just fine, bright and cheery, and I love everything you sell, so I'm sure I'd love eating there. It's just...different.

Nobody ever stops me in stores. I'd like to think it's because I look intimidating, but I suspect it is because I look baffled and confused. FanSee
Maria: Elephant on trampolineslave_o_spike on December 14th, 2008 04:54 am (UTC)
Re: Small Fryes
Wow! You had it all pegged out. LOL!

You know, I'm always surprised by what something looks like in RL too after having a picture in my head.

I like the place you're talking about though. Especially the place by the Bait Shop. :)

That's the thing. I look like I know what I'm doing and where everything is. I guess I could just tell them I don't work here but life is short and that just wastes time. :)
Amy: MarilynCandyamygirl on December 14th, 2008 04:54 am (UTC)
That would be incredibly awesome if you were on I love that show too though I don't watch it very often though I do love the Food Network.

What a cute little place you have...and now I'm hungry for fries... *sighs heavily*

LOL...poor you... *squishes*
Maria: kitty #3slave_o_spike on December 14th, 2008 04:57 am (UTC)
I don't mind the shoppers actually. It's just funny. LOL!

Thank you! It is cute and when I see it in pictures (esp at night) I realize how cozy the place really is. :)

It's just so RED and WHITE. :)
rosy5000: Brian Laptoprosy5000 on December 14th, 2008 05:09 am (UTC)
That would be so cool for you to be featured on Food Network! It would give me a real reason to watch and not because my dad forces me to. lol Though, there are a few shows I don't mind.

lol Those stores should at least give you an extra discount or something. You probably know the layout a lot better than a lot of the employees too. I don't know how many times I've been shopping and the cashier looks at what I'm buying and never even knew the store sold it.
Maria: Christmas Jackslave_o_spike on December 27th, 2008 02:34 am (UTC)
You would watch if I was on? Really? I would be so embarrassed! LOL!!!

I know! I so should get a discount. And yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. I'll find something and they'll be like, 'whoa! We carry this?!?! This is so cool. I'm gonna get one.'

*shakes head*
Janet Lynn: nicky janet lynn by preetybirdstrickens_girl on December 14th, 2008 06:37 am (UTC)
Ok, I watch that show and I would love to see you guys featured on it. How cool would that be?

Hubby always gets asked where things are from people assuming he works wherever we go. It's pretty funny...for me. *evil grin*
Maria: Christmas Rudolphslave_o_spike on December 27th, 2008 02:32 am (UTC)
It would so friggin COOL!!!!

But we'll see. I just came up with the 3 for $5 cheeseburger deal, so that might push it over to our favor (we had to do this because of the economy).

It must be funny for you. Hubby always gets a chuckle too. LOL! *winks*
My Flame Burns Bright: Emoticon - LMAOsuch_a_steph on December 14th, 2008 08:38 am (UTC)
I too wear my phone around my neck with a lanyard! I've never had that problem though LOL!

I can not believe you called him Cashmere *grins*
Maria: Elephant on trampolineslave_o_spike on December 27th, 2008 02:30 am (UTC)
I don't know what it is - when I wear the phone and lanyard, I look like an employee of the store (here, in the US, maybe it's because most of the managerial staff wear some kind of lanyard and their pass key or something).

I know. *grins*


Sometimes, my mind and my mouth don't engage at the same time. :)
Doriantdorian on December 14th, 2008 09:19 am (UTC)
Thta's just hilarious Maria !!! And you call a guy "cashmere" ! LOL I bet it must have to be fun wandering with you in these shops.I love the picture of you restaurant.It's a very nice place ,no wonder why tourists take pictures of it.It's exactly what one is looking for when visiting USA.Where are you living exactly ?Aida
Maria: Bigfoot - I believeslave_o_spike on December 27th, 2008 02:29 am (UTC)
I know! Cashmere!!!! I guess it could be fun - depending on the mood of shoppers that day. LOL!

I live in the Pacific Northwest corner - in Washington state, about 30 miles east of Seattle in the mountains. I love it here! Except there is so much friggin snow right now!!!
shadownycshadownyc on December 14th, 2008 12:49 pm (UTC)
That shopping story is hilarious. I actually once went shopping with my friend years ago, when she was pregnant and helped her match and make outfits that would compliment her, not make her look like a whale. Next thing I knew I was hired part time. LOL

I love Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Are they going to feature you???
Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on December 27th, 2008 01:45 am (UTC)
Really? That's so cool!! I've actually been offered jobs at places where some of the staff doesn't know me. LOL!

People at Cash & Carry are like, 'too bad we can't hire her.'

We'll see if they'll do a feature on us. Now that we've got this 3 for $5 deal, we just might.
pclu2004pclu2004 on December 14th, 2008 04:04 pm (UTC)
Oh, I hope they feature you on the Food Network.
Your story made me laugh. I guess some of us just look as though we know what we are doing.
I was standing in a mall a few years back and a woman and her husband walked up to me and out of the blue asked me "what's the name of the book that tells you how to run a meeting?" We weren't anywhere near a book store.
I answered "Roberts Rules of Order" and they walked away.
Maria: kitty #3slave_o_spike on December 27th, 2008 01:43 am (UTC)
I wish sometimes I could go into a store and not look like I know what I'm doing so I can be ignored because I swear - I just can't say no to people like that. I feel I must help them.

And I'm not sure if we'll be featured, but now that we've got this 3 for $5 deal, we might just become to new White Castle and they'll feature us anyway. :)
CoraC: pic#82934435coraaajt on December 14th, 2008 08:26 pm (UTC)
Your place is so kawaii!!(Which means cute in Japanese.)
If I take a trip to your town, I'll have those "grease, salt, sugar and caffeine".
The ad is so you. LOL
Maria: Elephant on trampolineslave_o_spike on December 27th, 2008 01:41 am (UTC)
Oh! Cool! It is cute and you know - there is some site in Japan that has our restaurant on one of their American scavenger hunt lists. I don't know how many Japanese tourists I've clocked taking pics of themselves next to the sign. :)

Thank you! :)
CoraC: aloecoraaajt on December 27th, 2008 05:11 pm (UTC)
But, you know, I'm a Chinese who just knows a little Japanese~
Got Ya!:P