Maria (slave_o_spike) wrote,

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About my restaurant and the best employee who was never paid

First off, I changed my layout again. It's a Joker theme.


I got bored of the Santa theme. And this is pretty wicked.

Anywho, so I mentioned in passing that we got a call from the Food Channel's Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. They were thinking featuring our restaurant in one of their segments.

Joe asked them how they heard about us and it was as I figured.

Our sign.


During the summer, the tourists swing by and love taking pictures of themselves by the sign. Then they come and and always say the same joke - "Truth in advertising, huh?" to which I reply, "OPEC has nothing on us."

They laugh, buy our food and are usually happy with us. Some people can't handle their grease intake. :P

If you would like to see a full picture of our place, click here.

This is my favorite picture of our place on flickr. If you want to see more, go to flickr and search for 'small fryes.' There's quite a few.

We sent off a compilation of the stuff they wanted (the Food Channel that is) and we'll see. I don't think they'll feature us personally.

Anywho, now for the second part of my post and the meaning of 'the best employee never paid.'

I wear this phone around my neck. It's a Samsung and I attached it to a lanyard, the kind you get from a snowboard shop, so I could keep it somewhere where I could never lose it.

Whenever I go shopping, people think I work wherever it is I happen to be shopping at.

I swear.

I'm not making this shit up.

And because I know my way around every store I shop in - usually for my business - people gravitate toward me! Where do I frequent? Well there's Cash & Carry (where I get my supplies for the restaurant that my vendors do not deliver), Costco, Target, and Safeway.

So, just in the past 2 days, I was shopping at Cash & Carry, pushing my huge cart around, and loading it with cases of lettuce and american cheese and the such, when this guy stops me and asks where the marinated artichoke hearts are.

Now, I could just say, 'I don't work here,' but I never do. So I said 'follow me coz you'll never find them' and I lead him to a tiny spot in a tiny corner and hand him a gallon jar of marinated artichoke hearts.

"Thanks! I would never have found them!"

"Yeah, well they change the location every friggin week. Just look for the peeled garlic and sun dried tomatoes and you'll find them."

"Why don't you tell your boss to not change them around," he chuckled.

"Because I don't work here and frankly I don't give a flying fuck where they put the damn things."

"You don't work here. But you know your way around so well."

Story of my life.

So then I continue shopping and two Russian women come up to me and ask me where the 'meeeelk' was. I told them 'dairy' straight down this aisle and through the double doors. When I was ready to get back to my shopping, two other women asked me about a bowl they were holding. 'Miss. This is the bowl I want but in a bigger size..."

"Go to the front counter, ask for Ed, a guy with a buzz cut and red cheeks. He'll order whatever you want."

I finally got my shopping done.

See what I mean?

Then I get to Costco. Hubby's with me that time. No sooner did I get through the front entrance when a lady stopped me and asked where she should go to return this. While hubby is standing there with a smirk on his face, I told her to go back out the entrance and go through the exit to customer service. I also told her to make sure she stood in the line on the right - not on the left - so she didn't end up in renewals.

So today I get to Safeway and there I am, shopping with my cart and two very beautiful men walk up to me. One of them had on a hoodie and was just a doll and the other was wearing a pea coat and a cashmere scarf.

So while I'm staring and drooling (okay, I'm not drooling, but I could only imagine what these two got up to), the one in the pea coat asks me why the Scampi sauce is not on the shelf with the other marinades.

I snap out of it long enough to say, "Coz Cashmere, that's a fish product. You have to go to the display in the seafood section, next to the double doors that lead to the back of the market."

He laughed at his new nickname, thanked me and walked to the back of the store, never to be seen again.


And it was only once they were gone that I realize had called him 'cashmere.' LOL!

Finally, finally, I get to Target and I'm in the toy aisle. I'm looking at the legos when this guy asks me where the rest of the Batman legos are. I look at the Batman legos, all four of them, and tell him that was all Lego made in the Batman line. Then he asks me where the rest of the Mars Mission lego sets are and then I sigh and tell him, "ah, well that is the bitch of it. No one sells all the Mars Mission sets. Target has a pretty crappy collection. You should just go to the Lego store in Bel Square."

So he laughs and says, 'you know you're telling me to go to another store."

And I laugh and say, "look, I'm not doing a Miracle on 34th Street. I'm not Macy's sending you to Gimbles. I don't work here and you should get your kid the lego set he wants."

So I figure at this point, I'm sick of this, and I take my phone from around my neck and pocket it.

Of course, that didn't work out so well as the lanyard was sticking out and caught on a display, knocking it over.

Yeah, real inconspicuous...

So see? I keep writing checks to these places, but they should be paying me! LOL!

Tags: rl, shop news
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