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28 February 2009 @ 01:53 pm
House MD standalone "House eventually gets to the point"  
So okay, THIS IS JUST A TEST!!!!

Seriously, first House fic here. Please tell me if I have his voice down right. Seriously.

Don't lie (even though everyone lies) and let me know straight out.

There is no slash here. No pairing. Just House talking to Wilson.

Title: House eventually gets to the point"

PaIRING: No pairing. Wilson, House and Cuddy thrown in
Rating: T for tame
Summary: House asks Wilson for a favor.

Disclaimer: Carmen Electra beta'd this for me and you know the poor girl. Can't edit a paper to save her life so all mistakes are hers.

Okay, so that's a lie and so is all this...

"Wilson, could I have a word with you?"

Turning to his patient with a long suffering sigh, the oncologist smiles and says he'll be a minute. He places his hand on her arm and then walks toward the glass door.

"I hope this is important. I was with a patient," Wilson continues with a small sweep of his hand, "you know those people you refuse to speak to..."

House directs him through his office and into the busy hospital hallway.

"It is." House stops and looks directly at his best friend. "I was looking down Cameron's blouse today and I swear she's wearing a bra from the new line at Victoria Secret. You know the one with the little lace that..."

"This is why you called me away from my patient!?!" Wilson explodes, sputtering the words out in a hail storm of incredulous disbelief.

"Oh, what?" House scoffs. "What...is she dying?"

"Well actually, yes, she is.."

"Today?" House shrugs.

"Six months but that's not the point..."

"Six months? Why is it always six months. Why not 3 weeks and 5 days. Pinpoint the date. Maybe your department should start pools. Statistically speaking someone should get it right eventually."


"Okay yeah. So I saved you from having to tell yet another person that they were going to die. You'd think I took your favorite puppy away from you. Do you enjoy that sort of thing? What, do you moonlight at the prison, tell the people stuck on death row they're going to die? Does it make them feel any better when you establish that connection as you touch their upper arms?" House finishes with a pout and that annoying tilt of his head.

"House," Wilson concedes in exasperation. "Does this have a point? Why did you call me away?"

"I need you to cover for me for the next two hours on clinic duty," House spits out, a pleading look in his large, blue eyes.

"Clinic duty for 2 hours?" Wilson sighs, "I wish it rather would have been about looking down Cameron's blouse."

"What was that Wilson?" House shouts across the hallway as Cuddy walks by. "You would rather look down Cameron's blouse?"

Cuddy glares at House while Wilson sputters yet again, trying to hide his face behind one of the lobby's fountains.

"Don't worry," House says placatingly to Cuddy as she walks up to them, "I'm sure he wasn't comparing you when he said he'd rather look down Cameron's shirt...although you are the only one here who has the goods out on display..."

Cuddy walks away.

Honestly, she doesn't understand why she always stops in the first place.

"Okay. I'll do your hours but why? Where are you going?" Wilson asks innocently.

"There's this gay porn theatre downtown where they're playing a double feature. I'm sure that was Chase on the movie poster. I swear that boy's a Falcon Video alumni."

"I'm never going to get a straight answer, am I?" Wilson retorts with a roll of his eyes.

"Straight? Oh," House smirks, "that's funny. You..." House says as he wags his finger at Wilson.

"This important?" Wilson asks yet again.

"Yeah, well, patient's life hanging in the balance," House nods, "you know, blah, blah, blah."

And with that mutual understanding they both share, House hobbles away, Wilson looking after his best friend. Walking down the hallway and past Cuddy, he has to smile as he observes her look quickly around, then look down at her chest while muttering, "they're much nicer."

The end

So. is that his voice? Is that they way he would sound?

Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Jackie: Garethjackieville on February 28th, 2009 10:26 pm (UTC)
You have his voice down perfectly! Love it!!!

More House, please!!!! *bounces*
Maria: Justin condomslave_o_spike on March 1st, 2009 01:30 am (UTC)

I so hoped it was right!!!0

More coming. :)
rosy5000: Brian Laptoprosy5000 on February 28th, 2009 11:17 pm (UTC)
lol Sounds like you got House, Wilson and Cuddy all down perfectly. :D I look forward to more. ;)
Maria: BJ cuddleslave_o_spike on March 1st, 2009 01:30 am (UTC)
Them too? Cool. I was hoping I had them all but I focused on House himself.

Thank you!!!
snow_white79: bwsnow_white79 on March 1st, 2009 01:55 am (UTC)
perfectly. I was able to picture the entire exchange. Go you!
Maria: Baby!Orli (Underage)slave_o_spike on March 12th, 2009 10:07 pm (UTC)
First off, thank you for that. I need to know this before I go any further.

Secondly, how are you and the new little one?
Roubeena: Jesserubidium11 on March 1st, 2009 08:34 am (UTC)
You got all three of them right :) I too was able to picture the whole scene in my mind.
Maria: lamppostslave_o_spike on March 12th, 2009 10:06 pm (UTC)
Yay! I know you know he show so I'm glad you thought you could picture this actually happening.

Thank you for the fb!!!
Doriantdorian on March 1st, 2009 09:48 am (UTC)
honestly, I would have been surprised if you couldn't find "his voice" because this character is just perfect for you.The twisted sense of humour and all.But now that it's said I'm really worried you'll never get back to some unfinished stories very dear to my heart.*puppy eyes* About some cannibals or infant of the devil...glad to have you back !!! Aida
Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on March 12th, 2009 10:05 pm (UTC)
I love how you have so much faith in me Aida! *smooches and gropes you*

Actually, the reason I want to write in this fandom is so I can get back to writing my cannibals and demon babies. LOL!

Thanks hon!!!!
Amy: OB12 -- Do Not Delteamygirl on March 1st, 2009 02:09 pm (UTC)
LMAO...this was perfect, just perfect!
Maria: BJ Guh Showerslave_o_spike on March 12th, 2009 10:03 pm (UTC)
Woot Woot!!! Perfect! Yay!

Thhank you!
oh_amelia on March 2nd, 2009 02:18 am (UTC)
I could definitely picture House and Wilson having this conversation.

This means more House fic, yes? :D
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on March 12th, 2009 10:02 pm (UTC)
Yes, but I'm not sure when exactly. LOL!

Good. I wanted people to actually picture this. Thanks!!!!
elfladyjeanne: Camilleelfladyjeanne on March 4th, 2009 10:08 pm (UTC)
LUVS! I adore House and you have him down perfect, along with Wilson and Cuddy. I can see Wilson rolling his eyes and staring unbelievingly at House's apparent selfishness and lack of compassion, and the random comments, and the unrelated reasoning behind his request...its all just perfect!

You have to do more. I must have House/Chase and House/Wilson!

Thank you for sharing this test.
Mariaslave_o_spike on March 12th, 2009 10:01 pm (UTC)
I don't know about House/Wilson but the House/Chase bunnies are growing! LOL!

Thank you. I needed to know I had the characters down before continuing. When writing for a show, I need to make sure my people are IC and canon.