Seriously, first House fic here. Please tell me if I have his voice down right. Seriously.
Don't lie (even though everyone lies) and let me know straight out.
There is no slash here. No pairing. Just House talking to Wilson.
Title: House eventually gets to the point"
PaIRING: No pairing. Wilson, House and Cuddy thrown in
Rating: T for tame
Summary: House asks Wilson for a favor.
Disclaimer: Carmen Electra beta'd this for me and you know the poor girl. Can't edit a paper to save her life so all mistakes are hers.
Okay, so that's a lie and so is all this...
"Wilson, could I have a word with you?"
Turning to his patient with a long suffering sigh, the oncologist smiles and says he'll be a minute. He places his hand on her arm and then walks toward the glass door.
"I hope this is important. I was with a patient," Wilson continues with a small sweep of his hand, "you know those people you refuse to speak to..."
House directs him through his office and into the busy hospital hallway.
"It is." House stops and looks directly at his best friend. "I was looking down Cameron's blouse today and I swear she's wearing a bra from the new line at Victoria Secret. You know the one with the little lace that..."
"This is why you called me away from my patient!?!" Wilson explodes, sputtering the words out in a hail storm of incredulous disbelief.
"Oh, what?" House scoffs. "What...is she dying?"
"Well actually, yes, she is.."
"Today?" House shrugs.
"Six months but that's not the point..."
"Six months? Why is it always six months. Why not 3 weeks and 5 days. Pinpoint the date. Maybe your department should start pools. Statistically speaking someone should get it right eventually."
"Okay yeah. So I saved you from having to tell yet another person that they were going to die. You'd think I took your favorite puppy away from you. Do you enjoy that sort of thing? What, do you moonlight at the prison, tell the people stuck on death row they're going to die? Does it make them feel any better when you establish that connection as you touch their upper arms?" House finishes with a pout and that annoying tilt of his head.
"House," Wilson concedes in exasperation. "Does this have a point? Why did you call me away?"
"I need you to cover for me for the next two hours on clinic duty," House spits out, a pleading look in his large, blue eyes.
"Clinic duty for 2 hours?" Wilson sighs, "I wish it rather would have been about looking down Cameron's blouse."
"What was that Wilson?" House shouts across the hallway as Cuddy walks by. "You would rather look down Cameron's blouse?"
Cuddy glares at House while Wilson sputters yet again, trying to hide his face behind one of the lobby's fountains.
"Don't worry," House says placatingly to Cuddy as she walks up to them, "I'm sure he wasn't comparing you when he said he'd rather look down Cameron's shirt...although you are the only one here who has the goods out on display..."
Cuddy walks away.
Honestly, she doesn't understand why she always stops in the first place.
"Okay. I'll do your hours but why? Where are you going?" Wilson asks innocently.
"There's this gay porn theatre downtown where they're playing a double feature. I'm sure that was Chase on the movie poster. I swear that boy's a Falcon Video alumni."
"I'm never going to get a straight answer, am I?" Wilson retorts with a roll of his eyes.
"Straight? Oh," House smirks, "that's funny. You..." House says as he wags his finger at Wilson.
"This important?" Wilson asks yet again.
"Yeah, well, patient's life hanging in the balance," House nods, "you know, blah, blah, blah."
And with that mutual understanding they both share, House hobbles away, Wilson looking after his best friend. Walking down the hallway and past Cuddy, he has to smile as he observes her look quickly around, then look down at her chest while muttering, "they're much nicer."
So. is that his voice? Is that they way he would sound?