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16 April 2009 @ 10:15 pm
Queer as Folk standalone "The World You KNow"  
So yeah, a BJ story...from me!!!!

Inspiration just hit and I decided to come back to the world of writing. I'm entering in baby steps.

Title: The World You Know
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Rating: PG-13 for one swear word
Summary: Brian dreams.
Spoilers: The very first episode. This would be considered a gapfiller for right before Brian wakes up their first morning together.

Disclaimer: I am not Cowlip so I don't own this show. I am also not the Pillsbury Doughboy so...stop poking me in the tummy.

Note: I got this idea when Joe was waxing poetic on me (you know...pillow talk).

All Brian could see was gray.

Gray walls.

Gray floors.

Gray people.

Gray everywhere.

Babylon had never looked so awash in the colorless shade. The jumping, dancing bodies had blended into the background, merging together as the lack of color and brightness made them seem one gyrating mass of pulsing energy.

Emmett and Ted were there, moving their mouths to imitate speaking. Despite that, their mute discourse seemed to echo off the walls.

And Michael.

Michael was there.

There was a tinge of color to him, a blush around the face. Not enough for most people to notice. It reminded Brian of a black and white photo he had stained at work with pink, to give the one object in the background some life.

His best friend was nothing more than a stain in the background in this gray cast world he found himself walking through.

As he passed through a hallway, he saw Anita. She was stirring the water in a claw-foot tub with her hands.

"Come on in. The water is perfect," he smiled.

"Yeah right."

When Brian walked through a door, he stepped into his office. Everyone around him wore the same somber tones, their normally vibrant, happy faces now covered in masks made of clay. Catching a glimpse of himself in one of the many mirrors, he noticed the same mask on his own countenance.

Slipping the mask off, Brian had to wonder which was the true visage he stared back at in the mirror.

Shrugging that thought off, he knew he had to keep moving. There were more doors to walk through and the air was getting stale here. He found the air hard to breathe, yet for some strange reason, he was able to tolerate it.

Opening another door, he found himself in the diner. The same ashen colors, the same people. They wore no masks, yet their faces still held the same lost look.

At least the ones that actually had faces.

"We're all lost," one of the faceless diners droned.

"I know where we are," Brian replied.

"Do you?" another diner replied and walked off.

Each door Brian walked through was the same.



His parent's home.

All the same.



So very alike in their autonomous color, their suffocating atmosphere. their coldness.

All lacking life.

And he came to one more door - a big, solid, metal sliding door.


Sliding back the entryway, he realized it was not the loft he was stepping into. It was too bright.

Brian walked passed the threshold of his door into the most blinding light and his world was awash with color again.

This was what being alive felt like.

He found himself breathing in deeply as the air smelled fresh and clean and....sweet.

And warm!

It was so warm. He allowed the warmth to embrace him. It felt inviting as the heat touched his skin, cocooning him in it's lulling presence.

It felt right.

It also felt real.

It was then that Brian found himself waking up in the arms of another man.

Looking at the youthful face before him, he had to revise that last comment. God, how old did the kid say he was again?

And just like that, Brian, as if he had still been in the dream, had of his own accord, left the bright, light-filled room, full of its colors and incredible warmth and walked back into his gray world, wincing slightly when the large metal door slid shut behind him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Brian mumbled.

"You said...I could stay," Justin replied, slightly confused.

"Oh right...your parents," Brian scoffed.

Brian knew the kid's name. But it didn't matter.

And with that, Brian adjusted his mask back into place and slid back into the world he knew. The one that, although not as warm or as bright, was still the world he knew.

After all, his skin burned too easily.


What was it Joe had said to me to inspire this? He said that all his life, everyone was gray until he met me. Then it glowed.

And then I popped up and said, 'Oooh! I've got an idea for a Brian/Justin story!'

I know. I know how to kill a mood. But hey! At least Joe didn't mind getting a sunburn and I know 5 kids who are really happy about that. :)

And feedback as usual, is welcome.

Current Mood: lovedloved
critic75critic75 on April 17th, 2009 05:44 am (UTC)
Your husband is a keeper.
and a damn fine muse. I loved the story. Kind of haunting, actually. Sad, you know.
Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on April 17th, 2009 06:09 am (UTC)
I just finished my Corona and was about to go to bed when I decided to check my mail and there you were! :)

Yeah, hubby's a keeper alright. And as for the muse? Sometimes he'll say something, something to be insightful as to the two of us or life in general and I'll be like, 'yeah...'

I meant for it to be sad. Why? Because I always felt the first episode was very sad in that morning after scene. Actually, it was always a little hard for me to watch the first few episodes when Justin threw himself at Brian. Quite painful to watch. Thank you JJ!
Collcolleen2328 on April 17th, 2009 06:05 am (UTC)
Welcome back!
I love this! It's the perfect end to a fine day, what with the Haroldpalooza news blitz and now a color fic. You should totally enter it in the Clusterfuck Challenge over yonder on IJ; colors is one category. I'm doing white.

And Joe is a damn fine man. I want a muse like that!
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on April 17th, 2009 06:11 am (UTC)
Re: Welcome back!
Okay, see? I'm totally out of the loop here. There's a clusterfuck challenge and it has to do with color? Whoa!

Is there a link? Would I just post it? And I'm not sure if I can. I haven't been on IJ in forever.

BTW, thank you! :) Joe, as critic said above, is a keeper.
Re: Welcome back! - colleen2328 on April 17th, 2009 06:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
darla_isabelledarla_isabelle on April 17th, 2009 06:38 am (UTC)

I loved it!

Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on April 18th, 2009 08:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
Doriantdorian on April 17th, 2009 07:51 am (UTC)
Until I reached the very last sentence I was thinking "who the hell are you and what have you done to Maria ??".But no, it's still you.It's really sad.Jo says the sweetest things.Lucky you ! Aida
Maria: BJ slave_o_spike on April 18th, 2009 09:00 pm (UTC)
I am lucky - I agree|! :)

This didn't sound like me till the end? Uh oh - I'm slipping. :P

Thanks Aida.
shadownyc: everysingleway-frenchingshadownyc on April 17th, 2009 10:54 am (UTC)
That was great and I love the inspirational moment. :D
Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on April 18th, 2009 09:00 pm (UTC)
Thanks Shadow. Yeah, I take the moments as they come. :)
gerri71gerri71 on April 17th, 2009 10:56 am (UTC)
What a come back, so nice to see Brian dream and the masks...so cool.
Maria: Angst BJ Missing Youslave_o_spike on April 18th, 2009 09:01 pm (UTC)
Brian does has the most cool masks of all the kids on the block. :P

Thank you and tis nice to be back.
mysid: mysid's musemysid on April 17th, 2009 02:29 pm (UTC)
Fabulous! You had Justin bring light and warmth into Brian's life--but you didn't hit us over the head with the "sunshine" analogy either. And Brian retreating into the world he knows, so heartbreakingly true.

Brava to you, and thank you to Joe for being your muse.
Maria: B/J cha cha chaslave_o_spike on April 18th, 2009 09:03 pm (UTC)
I don't really like going overboard with the whole 'Sunshine' thing. It's kind of embarassing to Justin. But I still wanted Brian to realize what he haas in his hands.

Thank you!
rosy5000: BJ Forever Youngrosy5000 on April 17th, 2009 02:48 pm (UTC)
This was just beautiful. And Joe... sounds like an incredible man to say something like that. :)
Maria: BJ cuddleslave_o_spike on April 18th, 2009 09:04 pm (UTC)
He is pretty awesome. :)

Thank you Rosy.
Bluemchenkaffee: 101 tweaked kissbluemchenkaffee on April 17th, 2009 05:11 pm (UTC)
Hey, you're back! *is happy*
Beautiful little fic, Maria. A little bit sad but very poetic.

Lol, poor Joe. It was so romantic and you totally ruined the moment. :)

Maria: B/J ILUslave_o_spike on April 18th, 2009 09:08 pm (UTC)
*hugs you*

Yes, it is sad but very real for that period of time in the show. I felt so bad for Justin in the beginning (well, more embarassed).

Actually he thinks its sweet that I wrote something based on what he said and I dedicated this to him. :) Thanks Susanne!
Daphneduffy_60 on April 17th, 2009 07:09 pm (UTC)
Very haunting and melancholy -- and just so creative and wonderful. This was just fantastic.

Tell you husband to make some more outstanding comments! ;-)

Later, my dear.
Maria: BJ cuddleslave_o_spike on May 5th, 2009 12:17 am (UTC)
Hi Daphne! Thank you for the lovely fb! Sorry I'm getting to this so late.

Haunting would be the best description I think too.

Joe thinks it was so sweet that he inspired this but I think he wants to inspire me to write a sci fi. LOL!
queenydivaqueenydiva on April 17th, 2009 07:51 pm (UTC)
Your husband is definately a keeper--he can whisper sweet nothings WHILE giving you plot bunnies! That takes talent, lol. I liked this story a lot.
Maria: BJ Guh Showerslave_o_spike on May 5th, 2009 12:14 am (UTC)
Yeah - he is a keeper. It will be 22 years come this October that we've been married. :)

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed!
liriel1810 on April 18th, 2009 12:34 am (UTC)
Man, that is such a sad story, Maria. How many people are there out there who choose the grey familiarity instead of taking a chance on the bright colours? Really awesome and perfect description of how dreams morph and change and meld into reality as the sleeping mind wakes.
Maria: Baby!Orli (Underage)slave_o_spike on May 5th, 2009 12:14 am (UTC)
I agree. There are so many many people out there who prefer what is known and familiar and never venture forth. I for one am always glad that I took the chance and took Joe up on his offer. :)

My dreams are always telling me something.


I just wish I knew what it is! LOL!

*hugs and cuddles you*

(Sorry this was so late - I've been busy)
sjmpets: pic#79011477sjmpets on April 18th, 2009 01:54 am (UTC)
let his sweet talking inspire you more offen. this was sad but beautiful. he'll go back into the sunshine when he needs to.

Edited at 2009-04-18 01:54 am (UTC)
Maria: BJ - 314 is loveslave_o_spike on May 5th, 2009 12:11 am (UTC)
He's been inspiring me to write something horrific lately. LOL!!!

He will go into the light because we know how fucked he was at the prom. :)

Thank you!!!!

mdlawmdlaw on April 18th, 2009 02:04 am (UTC)
That was such a vivid representation of Brian's life before and after he met Justin. m :)
Maria: BJ slave_o_spike on May 5th, 2009 12:09 am (UTC)
I thought so. And I so did not want to use the 'Sunshine' cliche again.

Thank you! *hugs*
Lynspike7451 on April 18th, 2009 12:10 pm (UTC)
Joe is a keeper. :)

Beautiful story, enjoyed reading it very much indeed.
Maria: BJ cuddleslave_o_spike on May 5th, 2009 12:09 am (UTC)
Thank you! Glad you liked it so much!

Yeah, I think I'll keep Joe around. :P